Since the Irish Times online became subscription-only, millions of people worldwide have been denied the opportunity to see the miraculous discourse on the letters page. I've recreated some of last year's favourite letters here so we can all wallow in nostalgia.
Sir, - Denis Coughlan (Opinion, Mar 28) is upset that America acts imperially to the rest of the world, i.e. in its own self-interest. Such a surprise - that a nation should act in its own self-interest! I believe Mr. Coughlan and co. should grow up. The American government and people have always acted in the interest of themselves and the free world, in places as far afield as Chile, Nicaragua and Vietnam. Such noble dedication to priciple is a rare thing indeed in this modern world, and should be commended, not sneered at by liberal naysayers like Coughlan.
In any case, Mr. Coughlan would be wise to remember the great sacrifices America has made for Ireland in the past. Time and time again, America has saved Ireland - from the potato famine, from British occupation, from the 1980s, and from World War 2. If it wasn't for us, you would all be speaking German and queueing for your bread and soup in a communist soviet. America has been Ireland's friend, but Ireland would be wise not to abuse America's friendship. Today's friends can quickly turn into tomorrow's enemies, as messrs. Hussein and Bin Laden found out when they too stepped over the line.
Sincerely, Arthur J. Heffenburn, Syracuse, NY, USA.
Sir, - The turnout of 17% in the last anti-abortion referendum, combined with the persistent governmental presence of Fianna Fail, confirms to me a long-held suspicion - the young people of today aren't voting. We urgently need to find some way to entice young people back to the polling booth, or else the future of our democracy is threatened. The solution is to remodel the political system on what the young people of today actually like: reality TV shows and imported American sitcoms. Instead of the present gallery of old men in grey suits, which would turn anyone off politics, the political candidates should be young, attractive, middle-class people, chosen in a process not unlike ITV's excellent Popstars. Draughty Dail Eireann should be replaced with a set resembling 'Central Perk' from Friends, and political speeches should be written by a large team of top comedy scriptwriters, to keep the humour, quips and one-liners flowing at a necessary rate to maintain young people's interest. This is the only way to save our democracy!
Yrs etc., Maire O'Bearla, Killiney, Co. Dublin.
Sir, - The ongoing debate about David Trimble's recent remarks at the Stormont conference on March 12th, concerning his opinions on the Irish Republic, has caused much comment in your publication, but rather than add my own observations to an already confused fray I would like to address a different and entirely unrelated matter. Since I know the mere mention of Trimble or anything to do with the North has already caused 90% of people to skip ahead to the next letter, I feel safe in using this opportunity to tell the world that I'm gay. I'm as bent as a mountain pitchfork. I'm in love with a sheet-metalworker from Belfast - he's big, he's hairy, and he fulfils my sex life in a way my wife never could. Tomorrow I'm going to leave my wife, my kids and my job, and elope with him to an abandoned farmhouse in Roscommon, where we can live out the rest of our days on a plateau of sexual bliss. In summary then, I believe Trimble's remarks are based on a fundamental misapprehension of the goals of the constitution as set out by DeValera in 1937, a somwhat outdated, outmoded representation of Ireland.
Yrs, Brendan Gormley, Rathmines, D6.
Sir, - How dare the Irish Times publish yet again the photograph of this year's Trinity Scholars (Mar 24)? Why not just print the Union Jack, call yourselves the 'British Times', and be done with it? It only goes to show the old adage is true: the Irish Times is a Unionist publication, run by a load of Jackeens and West Brits, determined to keep down the native Irish as long as possible. The country will never be truly free until we finally rid ourselves of your influence.
Yrs, Nicky 'The Poke' Gallagher, Muine Bheag, Co. Carlow.
A chara, - I cannot let Simon Tierney's remarks (Letters, Mar 23) about the compulsory teaching of Irish in schools go unopposed. Unlike Mr. Tierney, I and many other people have fond memories of getting Irish verbs 'beaten into me,' and indeed the sound grammatical knowledge thus imbued has stood me in good stead to this very day. As for the modern language question, perhaps Mr. Tierney is not aware of the recent study by Oifig Comharlas Bunbontaithe na Gaeilge, which found that forcing children under nine years of age to learn Irish prepares them better for learning French than actually teaching them French ever could. I fear that if primary schools lose the compulsory teaching of Irish, for a minimum of three hours a day, the innate linguistic abilities of the Irish nation could be lost forever. Let us not forget, we are a nation of Saints and Scholars, and that reputation is based first and foremost on a solid bedrock of literature in our native tongue.
Is mise, David Fitzpatrick, Droichead na Dothra, Baile Atha Cliath 4.
Sir, - Prayer is the soup that binds the very fabric of our society together. Did not Tennyson write, "more things are wrought through prayer than this world dreams of"? Therefore, why not harness the power of prayer to provide clean, efficient electrical energy for the people of Ireland? Instead of the building the proposed gas-burning power station in Bandon, Ireland should set an example for the Christian world and build the world's first prayer-powered station. No sight could be more uplifting than seeing the good citizens of Cork, on bended knee, praying together to induce an electrical current in a series of magnetic coils. And think of the benefits for the environment, the economy, and the spiritual health of the nation!
Sincerely, Orla O'Flaherty, Sixmilebridge, Co. Limerick.
A chara, - Peadar Clonnessy (Letters, Mar 25) objects to Fr. Tomas O'Farrell's (Letters, Mar 17) use of the term 'objectionable' (Letters, Mar 4) to describe the 'revelations' (which I have already categorically rebuffed elsewhere (Letters, Oct 13)) detailed in Paul Harford's reply (Letters, Jan 24) to Margaret O'Maolain's dismissal of the so-called diaries (Letters, Dec 29) as 'diseased liberal revisionism' (Fintan O'Toole, Opinion, Dec 7). The fact is, the liberal naysayers have yet to provide us with one piece of evidence that Casement was either a practising homosexual in thought or in mind. Until such evidence is brought to light, I rest my case that the diaries are a gross fabrication on the scale of the Holocaust, and let the sacred memory of Roger Casement rest in peace.
Is mise, Seamasin Ni Gheallfort, SugNaNathar, ngContae Ath Cliath.