Adventurer's Consumer Guide was written in Inform 6 for the Glulx platform and is copyright 2007 by Øyvind Thorsby. This solution is by David Welbourn, based on release 1 of the game.
(bat, king, queen, guards,
crowd, cage, cake, banner,
bird, chandelier, window)
machine, chest, grail)
very hot cave
(golem, sax, trolls)
|↓ Start Here||\|||||/|
On a mountain ledge (west end)
The manual can help you identify the creatures you find in the game. That monster to the east? It's a frog:
>read manual. read 1. read 2. read 64. read 72. read 79. read 81. read 83. read 85.
A little experimentation will quickly reveal that the both the helmet and the sword are going to be a problem. The helmet won't let you act "unheroically", and the sword gets more uncontrollable the closer it gets to something it considers dangerous. So, the first thing to do is take off the helmet. Because you don't want a vibrating sword near your chin, do it as far from the frog as you can get.
>remove helmet. cut strap with sword. [+1]
>e. e. e.
On a mountain ledge (almost at east end)
Drop the sword here for now. If you take it right to the frog, the sword will kill you.
>drop sword. e.
On a mountain ledge (east end)
>hit frog with orb. i.
Note how the tentacle monster that was in the orb is now here, and the frog is frozen inside the orb. Unfortunately, you have no way to kill the tentacle monster yet, and worse, it blocks any attempt to leave the room it's in. Go ahead and try. We're doing this now so events later will make more sense. (A lot of puzzles use this orb.) When you're done playing with the tentacle monster, hit it with the orb to bring the frog back.
>hit monster with orb.
>shoot frog. hit frog with arrow. [+5; Frog explodes.]
>stand on teleporter.
>goblin, shake lever. g. g. g.
The gremlin escapes from its cage. Alas, this was fated to happen somewhere. If you tried dropping the cage or giving the cage to the goblin, the gremlin would still escape. You'll automatically abandon the cage.
>open backpack. [+1; You now have the healing gun, screw, and shades.]
>talk to female goblin. nw. [She won't let you pass.]
>hit female with orb. [Sorry. Her medallion protects her from magical attacks.]
>w. d. sw. w.
On a mountain ledge (near the east end)
>take sword. e. nw.
The hook is on the end of the statue's arm. Also, you'll leave the coat here after this stunt.
>talk to hoverist. hover.
>remove coat. put coat on hook. wear coat. hang from coat. tango. [+5; You no longer fear pain.]
>open safe. take fish. take fish. [You want two fish. One will be sluggish, one fat.]
>drop sword. [It's again shaking so badly, danger must lurk in the very next room.]
>read runes. goblin, read runes. [He needs something to improve his eyesight.]
>read bottle. take it. open it. [You can't open the bottle yet.]
Briefly, try taking the bottle southeast. It makes the sword go crazy; therefore, the bottle must be the danger that the sword is trying to warn you about. It's best to leave the bottle where you found it for now, because you'll die if you try to take the sword while holding the bottle.
>se. nw. drop bottle. se.
A tight room
>hit goblin with orb. [+5; The explosion of the tentacle monster throws you northwest. Also, you'll need to pick up some of your inventory.]
>i. take shades. se.
>take manual. take porcelain. take sword. se.
>take staff. shoot hoverist with healing gun. hit hoverist with orb. se. ne.
>put sword in lever. sw. nw. nw. nw.
>take bottle. se. se. se. ne.
>stand on teleporter. goblin, stand on teleporter. z. z. e.
>nw. [+5; The female goblin will be preoccupied with your goblin.]
You can't open the hatch (locked), pick up the spear (too heavy), or take the (enchanted) royal crossbow from the room. Switching the crossbows around will make sense later; trust me.
>put supreme on table. take royal. open garbage can. put royal in can. close can.
On the way out, our goblin will return to our side. Also, just leave the sword in the lever. There is yet one more danger it can detect, but I'll warn you when we get there.
>se. w. d. sw. n.
>talk to barbarian. talk to dwarf. n.
If you were carrying the sword, and if the bottle of tomato sauce was back where you found it, the sword would be in its almost-slashing-you frenzy here, since the room to the north contains something dangerous.
>read altar. read automat. hit automat. n. wear shades. n.
WARNING: The dangerous thing here is a hidden trap connected to the knife. The diamond is the big treasure you want, but it's too heavy to carry anywhere. Also, it's so bright, you have to wear shades.
Leave the knife alone for now. There's a lot in the next room to the north that you need to be aware of first.
The gremlin's fled to here and immediately badmouths you to the hippoman, genie, and monster rights activist here. There's also a tacky grail, a chest, and a machine.
>talk to gremlin. talk to hippoman. talk to genie. talk to woman.
>take grail. open chest. read runes. yell. give helmet to hippoman. [+3]
>take grail. [Note: You are linked to the the gremlin via the rings you both wear.]
>remove ring. [Uh-oh. The ring is stuck on your finger.]
You have two apparent options: cut off the ring or cut off your finger. The two cutting tools are the sword and the knife. You can try to use the sword, but ultimately, it won't work. The ring itself can't be cut at all, and if you try to cut your finger off with the sword, the sword will shake during the attempt, detecting *itself* as the danger.
That means you're gonna have to use the knife. Unfortunately, it's dull. There's a blade-sharpening machine here, but the gremlin will prevent that from working too.
Hmmmm.... there is a way to solve this, but it's a bit on the gruesome side. Make sure you have the healing gun, and you might want to save first.
>take knife. look. take top. n.
You can wait a few turns, and while you're bleeding to death, bits of your brain will fall out. If you delay too long, you will die, though.
>shoot gremlin with healing gun. [+5]
>look. take brain. [There may be as many as three chunks, depending on how long you delayed.]
>put screw in nose. put knife in machine.
>turn screw. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. [+5; The pain of the screw will prevent both you and the gremlin from doing anything, allowing the machine to do its job in relative peace. Of course, none of this would've worked without learning from the hoverist first. If you'd rather not torture yourself overmuch, wait until the gremlin looks at the machine mischieviously, then turn the screw.]
>take knife. cut finger with knife. [+5. It may be possible to cut off your hand or arm instead.]
>shoot me with healing gun. [+1]
>take severed finger. take tacky grail. [+1]
>hit genie with orb. open chest. [Oh, well. It almost worked.]
Prodigious and very hot cave
>talk to old troll. talk to tall troll. talk to short troll.
>read golem. erase runes. take sax. e. [The golem won't let you take the sax from the room.]
>take sax. give sax to goblin. hit goblin with orb. [+4; Ice genie melts.]
>hit woman with orb. [+5; For getting the sax away from the golem.]
>open chest. read 2. read 36. read 37. read 42. read 44. [The flying carrot is a vegetable fairy. Sure. Why not.]
>lick carrot. goblin, lick carrot.
>hit goblin with orb. [If you don't put the goblin into the orb, his better eyesight will run out before you can take advantage of it.]
>s. s. s. s. ne.
>hit hoverist with orb. nw. nw.
>goblin, read runes. take bottle. open it. pour sauce on sluggish fish. close bottle. drop it.
We now have everything for the altar, but perhaps we should find out why first.
>se. se. se. n. n. n. e.
Note: The armadillo-woman changes books several times during the game. Whenever you see her with a new book, talk to her again.
>read 2. read 36. read 45. read 46. read 52. [These creatures are gods.]
>talk to flamingo. talk to armadillo. give manual to woman. talk to cat.
>take cube. take rusty grail. ne. [Hmm, time to show our devotions.]
Make sure that the fish with the hot tomato sauce on it is the one you put on the altar.
>put sluggish fish on altar. goblin, play sax. [+3; The altar, cat god, and golem are all wiped from the game.]
>n. e. ne.
>turn crank. hit lizard. throw knife at lizard. take knife.
>throw orb at lizard. take staff. turn crank. [+1]
Commodious cave (on the west ledge)
>throw knife at button. [+1]
Commodious cave (on the east ledge)
>take knife. nw.
Over-sized cave (on the west ledge)
>goblin, enter catapult.
>goblin, turn crank. [+1]
Over-sized cave (on the east ledge)
Cavernous cave (on the west ledge)
>throw fish at east ledge. hit goblin with orb. throw orb at fish.
>goblin, turn crank. [+5]
>goblin, open door.
>goblin, take staff.
>goblin, throw staff to me. [+3]
On a mountain ledge (west side)
>e. talk to hamster. kill hamster. hit hamster with orb. take fish. e. [+1]
On a mountain ledge (east side)
>open door. read crate. open crate. take black book. read black book.
>open crate. open mailbox. knock on door.
>open crate. enter crate. z. close crate.
>touch orb. [+5]
This wonderfully clever section is timed. Although you have some time to get your bearings and experiment a little, it should also be obvious that delaying too long is not recommended.
>take staff. hit bat with orb. hit queen with orb. [+1]
>hit bird with orb. [+1; NOTE: You lose the staff during the return trip.]
On a mountain ledge (east side)
Cavernous cave (on the west ledge)
>give fish to goblin. give top to goblin. [+1; Alternatively, give any chunk of your brain or the severed finger to the goblin. If you give him the finger, he'll swallow the ring as well.]
>ne. w. s. sw. w. sw. w. sw. sw.
>give black book to armadillo. [+3]
>goblin, get on stage.
>take rusty grail. [+3]
>read sign. open chest. [+3; You automatically grab 5 coins and go back down the ladder.]
>w. s. s.
>give tacky grail to barbarian. [+1; get 5 more coins.]
>give rusty grail to dwarf. [+1; get 5 more coins.]
>n. n. w.
Prodigious and very hot cave
Now that you've got 15 gold coins, you need to gamble that up to 30 gold coins. This puzzle is rather tedious and randomized, but the important thing is to take off those mirrorshades so the trolls can't see your card in its reflection! You can never win if you're wearing the shades.
>remove shades. play cards. save.
You'll need to play several rounds before you've cleaned the trolls out. You probably want to fold if you get a 10 or anything less, or stay or raise on a face card or ace. If you lose a hand, use "undo" and fold and hope for better luck in the next round. If you want to be certain you'll never lose money, only stay or raise when you get the ace.
>take card. fold or stay or raise 1 or raise 2.
Eventually, at long last, the old troll will say they're broke and can't play any more.
>[+5; for winning all the trolls' money]
>wear shades. e. s.
>buy wheelbarrow. [+1]
>push it north.
>take diamond. put it in wheelbarrow. [You Win!]
|Cow-o-meter and Manual|
|armadillo-headed woman||11356479 cows||God: page 52|
|flamingo-headed man||8000000||God: page 52|
|cat-headed man||4590666||God: page 52|
|genie||26078||Genies: pages 14–28|
|bat||1712||Destiny Sucker: page 43|
|me||516||Human: page 49|
|woman (Harold's wife)||399||Human: page 49|
|barbarian||319||Human: page 49|
|horse||319||Horse: page 69|
|man (tour guide)||267||Human: page 49|
|dwarf||266||Dwarf: page 51|
|hoverist||199||Human: page 49|
|dead elf||192||Elf: page 50|
|hippoman||65||Hippoman: page 58|
|female goblin||51½||Goblin: page 56|
|your goblin||46||Goblin: page 56|
|activist||28||Human: page 49|
|lizard||17||Shameleon: page 82|
|gremlin||12||Gremlin: page 54|
|donkey||11||Donkey: page 70|
|dead monster||11||Gloov: page 80|
|old troll||10||Troll: page 61|
|tall troll||7||Troll: page 61|
|short troll||6||Troll: page 61|
|frog||4||Frog: page 85|
|hamster||2||Devil Hamster: page 76|
|princess of Finland||2||Human: page 49|
|golem||1||Golem: page 60|
|King of Norway||1||Human: page 49|
|carrot||0||Vegetable Fairy: page 44|
|Queen of Norway||0||Human: page 49|
|any fish||0||Icky Cave Fish: page 7|
(in Unknown Place)
|526, 16, 14, 2309, 33, 18, 4, 35, 0|
and 788 cows respectively
|56, 12, 35, 102, 33, 69, 18, 4, 207|
and 45 cows respectively.
|0, 1, 2, 0, 2, 3, 1, 4, 17, 2, 3, 18,|
2, 22, 0, 1, 2, 3, 56, 0, 11, 13, 2, 0,
0, 1, 3, 9, 2, 1, 7, 66, 2, 1, 1087, 3,
2, 1, 9, 0, 1, 1, 2, 7, 34
and 2 cows respectively.
|Stages of Hoverism|
|1||Learn to hover.|
|3||(Unteachable. Learned after decades of hovering.)|
|9||Control the urge to lick old men.|
|10||Give up torture.|
|16||Give up violence.|
|20||Give up ordering others around.|
|21||Give up childish pranks.|
|23||Learn to throw better.|
|31||Give up dangerous magical artifacts.|
|33||Give up large indoor explosions.|
|39||Give up possessions.|
|48||Shoot flames from one's nose.|