In this game, you again play as Alex, lovable sociopath, except this time you're in the body of an 11-year-old girl and stuck in an airplane bathroom. (Your original body was lost on Mercury.) Meanwhile, the Queen of Hurts and Maladies has taken over the Earth, mutating over a quarter of the population into half-human hybrids, and then her sharkmen arrest your husband Paul. How will you solve this one?
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.
The vent opens. The rat comes out, followed by the robot!
> get on toilet.(The robot can't reach you there.)
> x robot.
> put rat in drain.(as a plug)
> turn on sink.(The robot is short-circuited.)
> take rat.(He's angry with you.)
> pet rat. g. g.
Around this time, Paul talks to you through the door. He suggests you find a way to enter the rat's body. Then the sharkpolice interrupt and take Paul away.
> read book.(You sleep and wake up as the rat.)
> x Marsha. enter vent.
> n. save. n. n.(The robot is following you!)
> n. n. n. n. n. n. n.
There's a grating here at the end of the duct.
> x grating. bite wire.
> bite lower left wire. bite lower right wire.
> bite upper left wire. bite upper right wire.
> open grating. n.
> z. z. z.(Robot is still after you.)
> x robot. x hatch.
> enter 0000. enter 0001.(Hatch opens.)
> take parachute. wear it.
> x parachute. pull pullcord.
> remove parachute. drop it.
> wallow in self-pity for months.
You find a newspaper that tells you that Dr. David Elbe and Paul are placed under house arrest at your house. You somehow get there.
> x door. n.
> x drawers. enter closet.
> x box. x razor. x hair. x tube. x key. x ring.
> out. e.
> x machine. x slot. x lever.
> x letter. read it.
> s.(Sharkmen are in there.)
> w. in.
> take hair. out. e.
> put hair in slot. pull lever.
> x figure. sleep.(You're back in your own body, sorta.)
> w. in.
> take all from box. wear ring. out.
> open drawers. x bottle. x nights. read it.
> take all from drawers. open bottle.
> x ghost. talk to ghost. g. g. g. g. g.
> show bottle to ghost.(You cork him inside.)
You briefly reconnect with Paul. He tells you you need to save Dr. Elbe.
Garden Area (behind the barricade)
> take colt. talk to Elbe. g.
> shoot sharkman. x cat. talk to Elbe.
> shoot sharkman. talk to Elbe. g.
> shoot sharkman. x barricade. x pool.
> shoot sharkman. talk to Elbe. g.
> shoot sharkman.(You're out of ammo.)
> talk to Elbe. g.
You'll now be rather explicitly prompted to press these letters:
> b. a. r. t.
On the wall
And now for a brief comedy of errors. Your attempts, if any, to use the M60 will fail.
> take penny.
> shoot sharkmen. clear m60.
> shoot sharkmen. unfold tripod.
> open cart(with key). enter cart.
Paul says he'll drive. Dr. Elbe takes the M60 and sets it up on the backseat.
> z. z.
You must talk to Elbe during the chase scene to get the laser!
> talk to Elbe.(She gives you a laser pointer.)
> x laser. attach laser to tube.
> z. z. z.(There's now a tank chasing you!)
Forest / Clearing (several locations)
> x tank.(See a dude with AR behind manhole cover.)
> z. z.
> jump on manhorse. push horseman.
> x manhorse. look in saddlebag.
Unfortunately, the game's is buggy enough that you have to use the grenade correctly the first time.
> take grenade.
> hit it. put grenade in tube.
> aim tube at tank.
The tank exploses and everyone goes flying. You end up at:
> x bottle.
Paul, possessed by Uncle Wally, stumbles towards you.
*** Happy New Year 2015! ***
Paul is your long-suffering husband. He's still stuck in his husband-in-distress role for most of this episode.
The Queen of Hurts and Maladies is the main villain behind the scenes. You hear her voice make an announcement on the airplane's PA system, but she doesn't appear in person in this episode.
Your mercurian rat, introduced in The Day I died, was brought onto the airplane by Paul in the last game, The Day I came back. With the rat's help, you can manage to get back to your home and to a clone of your original body.
A robot threatens you on the airplane. It's a cleaning robot, probably augmented with Alien Tech™, but it's unclear why it's also augmented with cutting blades or why it's trying to kill Marsha or the rat so intently.
Marsha is the 11-year-old girl whose body you're using. She was introduced in The Day I came back and was traveling with her mother at the time.
Sharkmen are humans mutated to have shark heads and act as the villian's henchmen and your cannon fodder. Originally seen as Dr Frensie's workforce on Voodoo Island (see The Day I saved Elvis) and on Mercury (see The Day I died), it's now established that Frensie was working for the Queen of Hurts and Maladies, so the sharkmen are her goons too.
Dr. Elbe is a friend of Paul's and a famous temperologist. Dr. Elbe is also trans. Her first name was originally David; she now answers to Dana.
Uncle Wally's ghost appears in the upstairs hallway.
Wally was first introduced by name as Paul's detested uncle in The Day I mauled Mao; you sent a Thompson's gazelle to Wally.
Wally appears in person, dressed like Stalin, in The Day I stabbed Stalin and is portrayed as very homophobic. Of course, you stabbed him and hid the body.
In The Day I hugged Ghandi, Wally's body was later found, and Paul decided to take it to Florida so it could be interred on his home island, St. Lincoln. Unfortunately, Wally's corpse was briefly possessed by a vetala, then eaten by a giant squid.
Wally is next seen at the very end of The Day I died, where he welcomes you to Hell.
At the beginning of The Day I came back, Wally is your irritating companion in Hell until he falls into a pool of acid.
A ginger cat in the garden area watches the firefight with disinterest. Considering that there's a catflap on the front door, we can assume it's Paul's new cat.
A Horseman riding a Manhorse chases after your group in the golf cart. You'll need to deal with that threat before you can deal with the sharkmen in the tank that's also chasing you!
J. Blask is the author of "Death to my Enemies", a book in the airplane bathroom.
The End if the robot catches you.
You have died
if a sharkman shoots you in the garden area,
or if you do nothing about the Horseman while on the Manhorse,
or if you hold onto a live grenade too long.
You or at least your husband and friend have died if the tank chase reaches the fire tower.
Happy New Year 2015! if you examine the bottle at "Flaming Inferno".
a book. It's in the airplane bathroom. After Paul talks to you through the door, read the book to move your mind from Marsha's body into the rat's.
As the rat:
a small parachute. It's inside the robot's hatch when you're falling from the airplane. Enter 0001 to open the hatch. Wear the parachute, then pull the pullcord to land safely.
a hair. It's on the razor in the box in the Potter Room. Put the hair in the slot of the cloning machine in the living room, then pull the lever to create a clone of your original body. Sleep to transfer your mind to the new body.
As yourself, in a newly cloned body:
a razor. It's in the box in the Potter Room. You only needed the hair on the razor, not the razor itself.
a cardboard tube. It's in the box in the Potter Room. During the chase scene: one, attach the laser to the tube; two, put the grenade in the tube; and three, aim the tube at the tank.
a key. It's in the box in the Potter Room. It unlocks the golf cart at Hilltop.
a wedding ring. It's in the box in the Potter Room. It's yours. Wear it.
Note: There is no explanation how your ring got back here. Logically, your ring should be lost with your original body in a deep pit on Mercury. It's unlikely Paul recovered it, since he was trying to escape Mercury. Maybe the Queen of Hurts and Maladies went to the trouble of recovering it to taunt Paul? Or maybe some future Alex recovered it so you could find it now? Strangely, the simplest explanation is that the Author put it here. The Author was established as a character in The Day I saved Elvis.
a bottle. It's in the drawers in the downstairs hallway. Open the bottle and show it to Uncle Wally's ghost in the upstairs hallway. You'll cork him inside.
The Arabian Nights: Tales of 1001 Nights. It's in the drawers in the downstairs hallway. I assume it's a weak clue to get you to think about genies in bottles?
a Colt. It's in the garden area. Shoot the sharkmen with it, one at a time, until you have no more ammo.
a M60. You receive this when you're on the wall between the garden area and the golf course. You need to clear the M60 and unfold the tripod before you can shoot anything with it, but by the time you've attempted to do all that, the opportunity to use the M60 is lost. When you enter the golf cart, Dr. Elbe takes the M60 and uses it herself.
Penny. It's on the wall between the garden area and the golf course. I don't think there's anything useful to do with it.
a laser pointer. Dr. Elbe gives the pointer to you the first time you talk to her when she's in the golf cart and the cart is no longer at Hilltop. Attach the pointer to the cardborad tube; now you can aim the tube.
a rocket grenade. It's inside the saddlebag carried by the Manhorse. To activate it, hit it.
To use it effectively, first attach the laser pointer to the cardboard tube. Hit the grenade, then put it in the tube, then aim the tube at the tank.
CAUTION: Don't hold onto a live grenade too long! If you must, throw it at the tank to get rid of it. Then get another grenade from the saddlebag and try again.