You play as an unemployed computer programmer who needs a job and some food, but not necessarily in that order. You wouldn't say no to some tacos. But will you say no to a job at Hangar 22?
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Final Build 1.0 of the game.
You can only visit Taco Flaco on Day One, and you can only visit Hangar 22 on Day Two. Attempts to visit either on the wrong day return you to your driveway.
> x fridge. open it.(The appliances are unimportant.)
> x cupboard. open cupboard. x rats.
> s.
Pantry
It's clear you really want tacos instead of chocolate.
> take all. x bar. eat it.(You don't actually eat it.)
> x bag. eat it.(You don't eat the Pieces either.)
> n. n. e. s.
Bedroom
> x mattress. x sheet. x stains. search mattress.
> x closet. x clothes. search closet. x spiders.
> e.(You use the bathroom and return.)
> n.
Living Room
Well, you've plundered your home of everything. Let's go out.
> open door. n.
Front Porch
> close door. lock it with key.
> x man. x clipboard.
> x mailbox. open it. x bills. close mailbox.
CAUTION: If you refuse the job offer, you'll be killed.
> talk to man.
say? 1
say? 2
say? 1(+1. You accept the job and a business card. He's gone.)
> read card. e.
Driveway
Note that if you try to visit Hangar 22 on the first day, you can't seem to find it.
> x car. enter car. drive.(Talk to your GPS!)
> look. x gps. talk to gps.
say? 2
Taco Flaco Drive-Thru
The room description tells you you've been making your own coupons.
> write coupon.(+1, using the napkin and pen)
> x coupon.
> x sign. talk to sign.
say? 4
say? 1(+1. You get your tacos from Gloria!)
Intersection
> talk to gps
say? 1
Driveway
> x tacos. eat tacos.(+1)
> x wrappers. out. w.
Front Porch
> unlock door with key. open door. s.
Living Room
> close door. w.
Dining Room
> put wrappers in trash.(+1)
> x trash.(Gosh, time for bed!)
> e. s.
Bedroom
NOTE: The game won't let you sleep until you've collected various items in your house that you might need tomorrow: the business card, the fish bowl, the remote control, the mug, the burrito, the candy bar, and the bag of Reese's Pieces.
> lie on mattress. sleep.(+1)
After a night of confusing dreams, you wake up and get ready for work.
Front Porch
The door is locked and your key is gone, but don't worry about it.
> x chair. x dog. e.
Driveway
> enter car. talk to gps.
say? 3
Guard Shack
> x guard. x cross-bar. x litter. x shack.
> talk to guard.
say? 1
say? 1
> give candy bar to guard.(He keeps your "bribe" as evidence.)
> give burrito to guard.(+1)
The guard lets you in, telling you to get a temporary badge from Mr. Mordant, first door on your left.
Parking Lot
Note you can't re-enter your car and go elsewhere from this point on.
> x cameras. x cars. x el camino.
> x fence. x door.
> e.
Hallway (west end)
> n.(Creepy guy from yesterday gives you a sticker.)
> x sticker. n.
In Processing
> x portrait. x maps. x desk. x papers.
> open drawers. take keycard.(+1)close drawer.
> x keycard.("ALL ACCESS")
> s.
Hallway (west end)
> s.(It's locked, even though you have an all-access keycard.)
> listen to voices.
> e. n.
Astronaut Lounge
> x astronaut. talk to astronaut.
say? 1
> talk to astronaut.
say? 1
> talk to astronaut.
say? 1
say? 1(The UFO is in the hangar. You'll need a spacesuit, gloves, and helmet.)
> talk to astronaut.
say? 1
> use remote.(The tv distracts the astronaut.)
> take gloves.(+1)
> x tv. x vending machine. x ice cream.
> x fridge. read note. open fridge. x tang. close fridge.
> s. s.
Observation Room
> x window. x creep. x military man.
> x octopus pizza. x table. x chair.
> n. e.
Hallway (east end)
CAUTION: Going east while the alarm is armed is deadly.
> x alarm.
> s.(You need suit, gloves, and helmet.)
> n.
Dressing Room
> x benches. x locker. open it.
> x spacesuit. x t-shirt. x costume. x overalls.
> take spacesuit. wear it.
> wear gloves. wear fish bowl.(+1)
> s. s.
Hangar 22
To enter here, you must have the keycard and you must be wearing the spacesuit, gloves, and fish bowl.
> x cage. x lock. x alien.
> x table. x pot.
> x ufo. x framework. x workers.
> talk to alien.
say? 1
say? 1
> talk to alien.
say? 2
> talk to alien.
say? 1
say? 1
> give bag to alien.
> take pot. give pot to Arf.
> open cage.
> use remote.(+1. Arf is free and a mob is chasing you!)
> n. w. w. w.
You and Arf escape the mob in your El Camino, which Arf flies to the Taco Flaco drive-thru. You pick up Gloria, who you learn is pregnant with Arf's baby (!), and then Sir Guide-A-Lot takes you all to Mzzrxklpletic-405.
*** You have won ***
Extras
Characters
A man in black is on your front porch with a clipboard. He's from "The Agency". Although the guard refers to him as Mr. Mordant, you think of him as "The Creep".
The GPS aka Sir Guide-A-Lot 350 in your El Camino talks with the voice of Sir Mix-A-Lot.
Gloria is a highly attractive Taco Flaco employee. She looks tasty.
A guard is in the Guard Shack. He looks hungry.
An astronaut sits in the Astronaut Lounge. He looks bored.
A military man is in the Interrogation Room, as seen from the Observation Room. He looks angry.
A giant Octopus Pizza is a creature in the Interrogation Room, as seen from the Observation Room. Ugh. Let's not say what it looks like.
A grey alien named Arf (short for Arfefidedmiliooni) is locked in the cage at Hangar 22. He looks sad.
Cameos and mentions:
Sir Mix-A-Lot provides the voice for your car's GPS.
A dog that lives across the street from you and the neighbourhood kids are mentioned in the Front Porch description. (BUG: Try talking to the dog.)
Your mother gets a brief cameo in your dream.
Employees and customers of Taco Flaco are seen during your visits there.
Some rats are seen in your kitchen cupboard.
Some spiders are hiding in your bedroom closet.
Rodzinski is the owner of the spacesuit.
Goldie was your pet goldfish.
Your Aunt Ruth is mentioned in the response to "eat burrito" and not in a good way.
Glitzenbork is mentioned in the papers in "In Processing".
Other workers are in Hangar 22, but near the UFO. They become a mob after you free Arf.
Endings
You have died
if you don't accept the job offer from the man on your front porch (he shoots you);
or if you attempt to rob Taco Flaco (they shoot you);
or if you chose "Screw you, Copper!" when talking to the guard;
or if you go past the alarm system into the dark hallway when the alarm is armed;
or if the mob catches you after you open Arf's cage.
You have won if you escape with Arf from Hangar 22.
Inventory
a fish bowl. It's in your living room. You must have it when you go to sleep. Wear it with the gloves and spacesuit so you can enter Hangar 22.
a remote control. It's on the coffee table in your living room. Don't eat it. You must have it when you go to sleep. Use it to turn on the television in the Astronaut Lounge and unlock the cage in Hangar 22.
a handful of change. Find it by searching the couch in your living room. It amounts to one dollar. Buy tacos at Taco Flaco with the change and coupon.
a burrito. Find it by searching the couch in your living room. Don't eat it. You must have it when you go to sleep. Give it to the guard at the Guard Shack.
a house key. It's in your dining room. It locks and unlocks your front door. Unfortunately you lose it at the beginning of the second day.
a napkin. It's on the table in your dining room. Write on it with the pen to make a coupon.
a pen. It's on the table in your dining room. Write on the napkin with it to make a coupon.
a coffee mug. It's in your kitchen. You must have it when you go to sleep. It's assumed you're still carrying it during the epilogue, when you give it to Arf.
a candy bar. It's in your pantry. You must have it when you go to sleep. Try giving it to the guard.
a bag of Reese's Pieces. It's in your pantry. You must have it when you go to sleep. You can try giving it to Arf, but he doesn't want it.
some bills. They're in the mailbox on your front porch. You can ignore them.
a business card. You get it when you accept the job from the man on your front porch. Read it so you know where your new job is. You must have it when you go to sleep.
a coupon. Write on the napkin with the pen to create the coupon. Buy tacos at Taco Flaco with the change and coupon.
a box of tacos. Buy the tacos from the Taco Flaco drive-thru using the coupon and change. Eat the tacos! You'll be left with the wrappers.
some taco wrappers. You're holding these after you eat the tacos. Put the wrappers in the trash can in your dining room.
a new employee sticker. You get it from the creepy guy when you first try to enter In Processing.
a keycard. It's inside the desk drawer at In Processing. The keycard unlocks the door to Hangar 22 ("TOP SECRET" from the hallway).
a pair of gloves. They're on the tables in the Astronaut Lounge. Use the remote to turn on the television; now that the astronaut is distracted, you can take the gloves. Wear the gloves, fish bowl, and spacesuit to enter Hangar 22.
a spacesuit. It's in the locker in the Dressing Room. Wear the spacesuit, gloves, and fish bowl to enter Hangar 22 safely.
a t-shirt. It's in the locker in the Dressing Room. It's too small for you. Ignore it.
a costume. It's in the locker in the Dressing Room. It has too many arms for you. Ignore it.
some overalls. They're in the locker in the Dressing Room. It's too tall and too blood-stained for you. Ignore it.
a flower pot. It's in Hangar 22. You can try giving it to Arf or just ignore it.
Score
You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 11, in several turns.
1 point for accepting a new job.
1 point for making a handwritten "10 TACOS FOR A DOLLAR" coupon.
1 point for getting ten tacos for a dollar.
1 point for eating all those delicious tacos.
1 point for putting the taco wrappers in the trash.
1 point for getting a good night's sleep and starting a new day.
1 point for getting past the guard at the guard shack.
the support of Thomas Bøvith, Robin Johnson, Ville Lavonius, Andrew Schultz, Kenneth Hon, Jason McIntosh, Carl Muckenhoupt, Mark Musante, and Phil Tatro;
the generous support of Janice M Eisen and Amelia;