In this game, you are playing as Morgen Santamore, a human instructor in robot decorum at the Mathedral of the Heavenly Code High School. Today, the Robopope, Pope Fortran itself, is visiting this very building complex. You're going to find it and then kiss its papal ring.
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 2 of the game.
The LED eye is your lightsource for dark locations, but if you don't have it, you're still allowed to go through dark locations safely.
> about. credits.
> x me. x examination.
> x desk. x slot. put examination in slot.(+1)
> x desks.
> x ceiling. e.
Columnar Polyhedron Narthex
> x crowd. n.
> take kit. x it. open it.
> x wirecutters.
> n.(No chance. Maybe you can reach the chapel via the crypt below.)
> s. e.
> x carpet. x cot. x helmet. x pauper.
> talk to pauper.
> 1("...helmet?" Need to play a song.)
> 2("...crypt?" Just down and north.)
> x bricks. nw.
> x cabinet. x saint. x fuse.
> x dust. x pedestal. x head. x wire.
> cut wire with wirecutters.
> take eye.(+1)take wire.
The coffin is locked, so you can't take either chip yet.
> x coffin. x saint. x red chip.("The DOSology.")
> x white chip.("Ave Machina.")
> nw. ne. nw. nw.
> x woman.
She names you as a deputy inquisitor and you now need to find a reported heretical item below. Talking to the woman is optional; here's one way the conversation can go:
> talk to woman.
> 1.("...more about item?" Likely printed.)
> 1.("...where to look?" Down that hole.)
> 1.("...what you do?" Classified.)
> 1.("...nothing to hide")
> 1.("...wasn't healthy")
> 1.("...Why not?")
> 1.("...Cult?" Heretics.)
> 1.("...How sad.")
> 1.("...not a heretic.")
> 1.("How can I prove...?" You can't.)
> x roots. w.
> x structure.
> x stone. x plate. x glue. x idol. x bill.
> take all from stone. take bill from plate.
> glue idol. x idol.
> s. e. e.
> x stems. x bones. s.
> x envelope. take it. open it. take bill.
> x heap. search heap. x book.
You can look up popes in this book. Totally optional.
> look up java in book.(from 1 ARA to 2 ARA)
> look up inform in book.(from 2 ARA to 19 ARA)
> look up cobol in book.(from 19 ARA to 25 ARA)
> look up ada in book.(from 25 ARA to 31 ARA)
> look up tads in book.(from 31 ARA to 38 ARA)
> look up python in book.(38 ARA)
> look up lisp in book.(38 ARA to 43 ARA)
> look up pascal in book.(43 ARA to 46 ARA)
> look up hugo in book.(46 ARA to 53 ARA)
> look up pearl in book.(53 ARA to 57 ARA)
> look up ruby in book.(57 ARA to 59 ARA)
> look up alan in book.(59 ARA to 64 ARA)
> n. e.
> x basket. x hermit. x frizz. x box.
> x key. x paperbook. x clarinet. x ball.
> buy paperback.(Using a dollar bill.)
> buy key.(Using another bill.)
> w. w. u.
> give idol to woman.(Pagan, but not heretical.)
> give paperback to woman.(+1. She leaves.)
> n. u.
Secondary Chapel Approach
> s.(Need a prayer helmet to head that way.)
Hm. The pauper has a helmet; he wants music. The hermit has a clarinet. But you'll need another dollar bill to buy it, and also a new fuse and a music chip to make it work.
> d. s. se.
> open cabinet.(With key. The key snaps.)
> glue key.(With glue: +1.)
> take holy fuse.
> se. sw. se.
> unlock coffin with key. open coffin.
> take chips.
> nw. ne. nw. nw. d. e. e.
> give key to hermit.(He gives you a bill back.)
> buy clarinet.(Using the dollar.)
> take dead fuse.
> put holy fuse in square slot.
> w. w. u. se. se. u.
Either chip will work, but you probably want to see both songs, right?
> put red chip in clarinet. play clarinet.(+1)
> take helmet.
> take red chip.
> put white chip in clarinet. play clarinet.
> n. nw. nw. d. e. e.
Oh, just assume we'll need a bowling ball. Something will require it.
> take holy fuse. take white chip.
> give clarinet to hermit.(You get a dollar back.)
> buy ball.(Using the dollar.)
> w. w. u. n. u.
Secondary Chapel Approach
> wear helmet. s.(+1)
Chapel of Spiritual Cybernetics
> x bot. x antenna. x decals. x brainpan.
> put ball in brainpan.(+1)
> talk to bot. g. g.
> x pope. x ring. kiss ring.(+1)
*** You have won. ***
> songs(List of songs that influenced this game.)
> jokes(Your reward for winning is some robotic and IF-related jokes.)
A crowd is trying to see the Pope; they completely block your way to him.
A pauper has a prayer helmet in the Almshouse.
Saint 43's severed head is on a pedestal in the Funerary Niche.
Saint 9's mangled body is in a plexiglass cabinet in the Reliquary.
Saint 71's flattened body is in a plexiglass coffin in Charnel Cyst.
A woman is in Subsidence. She's an inquisitor and deputizes you to find a heretical item for her.
A hermit sits in his lonely Cell, offering various items for a dollar each.
A crusaderbot is in the Chapel of Spiritual Cybernetics. It guards the way to the Pope.
Pope Fortran, the Robopope, awaits your submission in its presence.
Jon K. is named on the student examination.
Several former popes have entries in the metal book: Java, Inform, Cobol, Ada, Tads, Python, Lisp, Pascal, Hugo, Pearl, Ruby, and Alan.
HOLY ROBOT EMPIRE was tested by Seth Kaplan, Molly "Healy" G., Royce Odle, Alex Klemperer, and Alan DeNiro. Any remaining bugs are the fault of Caleb Wilson.
The cover image is derived from a public domain photo by Steve Hillebrand of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
You have died.
if you attempt two foolish actions in the pope's presence; for example: take ring or kill pope.
You have won.
if you kiss the pope's ring.
a student examination. You're carrying it. Put it in the slot of the teacher's desk in the Empty Classroom.
an emergency tool kit. It's in the Lower Nave. Open it. It contains a pair of wirecutters.
a pair of wirecutters. It's in the emergency tool kit. Cut the wire Funerary Niche with it to free it and the LED eye.
a paper envelope. It's in the Midden. Open it. It contains a dollar bill.
two dollar bills.
One bill is in the paper envelope. The other bill is in the tarnished silver plate.
Everything in the hermit's box costs a dollar. Buy the paperback and the plexiglass key first.
After using and repairing the key, give it back to the hermit to get a dollar bill back, then buy the clarinet.
After using the clarinet, give it back to the hermit to get a dollar back, then buy the bowling ball.
a metal book. Found by searching the heap in the Midden. You can look up various early popes in this book, but you don't really need this book or its information.
a paperback book. It's in the hermit's box in his Cell. Buy it with a dollar bill, then give the paperback to the inquisitor.
a tarnished silver plate. It's in the Underground Church. You need the dollar bill in it, but you don't need the plate itself.
a tube of glue. It's in the Underground Church. Use it to glue the plexiglass key after it breaks. You can also glue the broken idol to fix that as well.
a broken idol; an ancient idol. It's in the Underground Church. You can glue the idol (using the tube of glue) to fix it, but you don't need the idol.
a plexiglass key; a broken key. It's in the hermit's box in his Cell. Buy it with a dollar bill. It unlocks both the cabinet in the Reliquary and the coffin in the Charnel Cyst, but it will break when you unlock one of them. Glue the broken key (using the tube of glue) to restore the key. After both the cabinet and coffin are unlocked and open and the key is repaired, give the key back to the hermit to get your dollar bill back.
a clarinet. It's in the hermit's box in his Cell. Buy it with a dollar bill after fully using the plexiglass key and returning it. Take the dead fuse out of the clarinet and put the holy fuse in its place. Put either the red music chip or the white music chip in the clarinet. Now you can play the clarinet for the pauper in the Almshouse and he'll let you take his prayer helmet.
a dead fuse. It's in the clarinet. Remove it; it's in the way and useless to you.
a bowling ball. It's in the hermit's box in his Cell. Buy it with a dollar bill after fully using the clarinet and returning it. Put the bowling ball in the crusaderbot's brainpan.
a prayer helmet. The pauper in the Almshouse has it and will give it to you in exchange for music. Get the clarinet, holy fuse, and at least one of two music chips, put them together and play the clarinet for the pauper; the prayer helmet is yours. Wear the prayer helmet to be able to go south from Secondary Chapel Approach.
a holy wire. It's in Saint 43's severed head, on a pedestal in the Funerary Niche. Cut it with the wirecutters to free it. You don't do anything with the holy wire afterwards, though.
an LED eye. It's in Saint 43's severed head, on a pedestal in the Funerary Niche. It's your lightsource. Cut the wire with the wirecutters to free it.
a holy fuse. It's in Saint 9 in a locked plexiglass cabinet in the Reliquary. The plexiglass key unlocks the cabinet. Put the fuse in the clarinet.
a red music chip. It's in Saint 71 in a locked plexiglass coffin in the Charnel Cyst. The plexiglass key unlocks the coffin. Put the chip in the clarinet.
a white music chip. It's in Saint 71 in a locked plexiglass coffin in the Charnel Cyst. The plexiglass key unlocks the coffin. Put the chip in the clarinet.
You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 8, in some turns.
1 point for putting the student examination into the slot of the teacher's desk.
1 point for acquiring an LED eye.
1 point for giving heretical material to the inquisitor.
1 point for repairing the plexiglass key.
1 point for playing the clarinet for the pauper.
1 point for reaching the Chapel of Spiritual Cybernetics.
1 point for putting the bowling ball in the crusaderbot's brainpan.
1 point for kissing Pope Fortran's ring of office.