You're someone in orbit who wants to attend PAX-East in Boston, so you send a remote-bot in your place. Now that you're effectively in the hotel, all you have to do is find the Interactive Fiction Suite!
This game is mostly just a maze of IF tribute items, so this walkthrough will explore the maze so we can experience all of them, rather than rush to the end as quickly as possible.
> x me. i. s. s. e. e.
Does anyone else find it a bit creepy to have the statue that is famous for gaining life be represented by a non-living doll?
> x doll. pull string. g. g. g. g.
When you've finished playing with the doll:
> w. s.
Part of the maze
> x wiki-art. w.
> x pedestal. x box. open box. look in box.
> x bowl. take bowl. close box. e. s.
Maze Turning Point
> x potato. take potato. e.
> x panel. turn on switch.(A mallet bonks you.)
You are now disoriented and all the exits from Allways have changed. This isn't helpful, so I suggest turning the switch off again immediately.
> turn off switch.
> s. w. w. n.
In the dark
There's no in-game mention about "frotz"; you just need to know your IF lore. Alternatively, you could just TAKE ALL and examine the posters in another room instead, but then you'd missing the Dark Room description.
> frotz potato.(It now acts like a light-source.)
> look. x poster 1. x poster 2. x poster 3.
> s. e. e. n. n. e.
> x pig. read sign. n.
> read sign. s. w. s. e. s.
The last room
The sign is rot13-encoded; its decoded message is "This sign is here just to annoy you."
> x sign. read sign. e.
The entrance to the Interactive Fiction Suite
> x enforcer. e.(The enforcer stops you.)
> give bowl to enforcer. e.
*** YOU'VE WON THE GAME! ***
The Generic Enforcer is at The entrance to the Interactive Fiction Suite. He's hungry.
Kathy Ireland is mentioned in the wiki-art description.
Grunk and his lost pig are mentioned by the Pig Sty sign. These are the main characters of Lost Pig by Admiral Jota.
Someone asleep is mentioned by the False Hope sign.
Emily is mentioned in the backward remark that the Galatea Doll can make when you pull its string. Emily Short is the author of the IF work Galatea.
Galatea is represented by the Galatea Doll.
Grues are the subjects of the posters found in the Dark Room.
Jimmy F. is poster 1's artist, and the inscription also refers to Jimmy's dad.
Emmenly Small is poster 2's artist.
J. Lottie is a cave-crawler mentioned in the description of poster 3.
The hoi-palloi of IFdom is mentioned in The End text.
a Potato. It's at a Maze Turning Point. Examine it. Frotz it; it now acts as a lamp and you can see what's in the Dark Room.
A bowl of fettucini. It's inside the Ebony-esque Box in Fettucini Exhibit. Give the bowl to the enforcer and he'll let you go into the Suite.
a Galatea Doll. It's on the white pedestal in Galatea's room. Pull her string several times. I don't think you're supposed to take the doll.
Poster 1, Poster 2, and Poster 3. They're all in the Dark Room. You're probably not supposed to take them either, but if you just TAKE ALL when In the dark, you get them and you can look at them elsewhere without needing a frotzed potato.
a buffered analgesic. It's mentioned briefly and you automatically swallow it as soon as it appears when you turn off the control panel at Allways. It's a reference to the IF version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. But how does that pill work when we're in a robot body?