In this game, you play as one of the newly-dead sent to Hell via a large luxury yacht. You soon learn that Hell isn't a place for eternal torment anymore. They've modernized. You're free to explore, find employment, get a driver's license, and even visit Heaven if you want to. So what do you want to do with your afterlife?
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 930912 of the game.
SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.
🧭 Get beer or liquor. Get rope. Listen to orientation lecture.
Boat, on seat J-33
> verbose.
> x seat. x window. x people.
> stand. s.
Bar
> x bartender. ask him about yacht.
> ask him about captain. ask him about bar.
Optionally drink some booze.
> ask him for liquor. drink liquor.
> ask him for beer. drink beer.
Make sure you keep some beer or liquor to use in a later puzzle.
> ask him for beer.
> n. u.
Deck
> read note.(It's from the author; you don't need it.)
> x river. x plants. e.
Control Room
> x pilot. x window.
> ask him about yacht.
At about this time, the yacht docks at a pier, and passengers begin to disembark. I'm unclear on the exact trigger. Perhaps talking to the captain triggers the event.
> ask him about afterlife. ask him about himself.
> ask him about bar. ask him about Infernolab.
> w. w.(+13)
Pier
> x rope. take it. n.
Briefing Room
BUG WARNING: Every time you sit down here, at least in release 930912, a copy of the woman will be spawned to enter and begin her speech. So, please, sit down only once so only one woman is here.
> sit.(A woman enters and starts explaining things.)
> x woman. z. z. z. z. z. z.(She mentions H-SPAN broadcasts on channel 319.)
> z. z. z.(The questions start to repeat.)
> stand. n.
🧭 Briefly visit Security and DMV.
Courtyard
Let's start exploring Hell.
> x machine. w.
Celestial Security Office
The officer will be questioning the woman forever at this rate.
> x wastebasket. x paper. x officer. x woman.
> e. e.
Department of Motor Vehicles
The employee wants to see your appointment card.
> x customers. x official. ask official about card.
> w. n. e. s.
🧭 Get toolbox.
Lobby (of Infernolab)
> x toolbox. take it. open it.(locked)
> x bulb. x couch. x table. x railing.
Ignore most of Infernolab for now, but let's at least see why the game showed us that pantomime with the railing.
> stand on table. climb railing.(+13)
Up a Rail
> take bulb.(You take it, but you don't need it.)
> open panel. u.
Crawlway (above lobby)
> s. e.
Crawlway (east end)
> open panel. look through panel.(You're above some cubicles.)
> w. w.
Crawlway (west end)
Don't worry about suffocating on the gas. You're already dead and you're not going to die again.
> x pipe. open valve.(gas pours out.)
> close valve.
Now visit a farmhouse on the outskirts of town:
> e. n. d. d. n. e. n.
🧭 Get radio, bucket, pitchfork, earrings.
Farmhouse
Note that the radio has a compartment. You'll need its battery later.
> take radio. x it. x dial. x compartment.
> turn on radio. turn dial to 319.(As suggested by the woman in the briefing room.)
Listen to the discussion on speed limits; it's a logic puzzle.
> z. z. z. z. z. z. z. z. z.
> turn off radio.
Here's a summary of the logic puzzle clues:
Each zone has its own speed limit.
The zones are: School, Hospital, Library, Residental, and Freeway.
Hospital Zone isn't the 43 mph zone.
Signs in School Zones are blue.
Signs in 59 mph zones are green.
Signs in School Zones and in 27 mph zones are large.
Signs in Library Zones and in 43 mph zones are medium-sized.
The speed limit in Residental Zones is either 17 or 23 mph.
Either School or Hospital Zones are 23 mph.
And here's a summary of what you can deduce from those clues:
The School Zone is 23 mph and uses large blue signs.
The Hospital Zone is 27 mph and uses large signs.
The Library Zone is 59 mph and uses medium-sized green signs.
The Residental Zone is 17 mph.
The Freeway Zone is 43 mph and uses medium-sized signs.
Continue exploring:
> e.
Barnyard
> x weeds. x wellhead. x bucket.
> x lever. x spout. pull lever.(This well is dry.)
> take bucket. n.
Barn
> take pitchfork. x it.
> x hay. x stalls. x plane. x engine.
> enter plane.
cockpit
> x hole. take earrings.(+13)
> x earrings.
> x large compartment. open it.(It's jammed.)
Note to self: Return here later with a prying tool.
> out. s. w. s. e.
🧭 Learn how to lasso.
Field
> take rabbit.(It's too quick.)
Practice lassoing by repeatedly trying to take the rabbit with the rope. This lassoing skill will be useful later.
> lasso rabbit(with rope). g. g. g.(You catch it, but it then escapes. That's fine.)
> w. s.
Rocky Hillside
> x volcano. e. n.
🧭 Get water, key, crowbar, yellow note, parachute.
Lake Shore
Don't enter the lake just yet; there's a vicious undertow. You can't drown, of course, but the current will take you out of your way to a river bank, and you'll have to walk all the way back here.
> fill bucket with water.
Head back downtown and find that guy who set himself on fire.
> s. w. n. w. w.
Downtown (between Courtyard and Tower)
If the man on fire isn't here, wait for him or chase after him.
> throw water at man.(+13. He leaves, but drops something.)
> look. take key. unlock toolbox with key.
> open toolbox. x crowbar.
> x yellow note.(Has a three number combo written on it.)
Head back to the cockpit:
> e. e. n. e. n. enter plane.
cockpit
> open large compartment with crowbar.(+13)
> x parachute. take it.
Now go to a cardboard house in the suburbs:
> out. s. w. s. w. w. w. s.
🧭 Get bin, gloves, certificate, poker, pillow.
North of House
> x house. s.
Kitchen (of cardboard house)
You don't need the sandwiches in the fridge, but eat them if you want to.
> x appliances. x oven. open it. x range.
> x fridge. open it. x bologna. x ham.
> take all from fridge. close fridge.
> x sink. x cabinet. open it. x gloves. take gloves.
> x bin. take bin.
> w.
Dining Room
> x mail. take mail. take certificate. x it.
> s.
Living Room
> x fireplace. x holder. x poker. x brush. x shovel.
> take all from holder.(You only need the poker.)
> e. e. s.
Small Bedroom
> x bed. look under bed.(You find a dollar bill.)
> x pillow. x bedspread.
> take all from bed.(You only need the pillow.)
> n. e.
Master Bedroom
It's strongly implied that this guy is this game's author.
> x programmer. x card.("INFERNOLAB")
> ask him about himself. ask him about Infernolab.
> x computer. x pile. x desk.
> open drawer.(The programmer stops you.)
> x sharpener. x bag. x can.
> w. n.
🧭 Get sharpened pencil.
Bathroom
> x sink. x cabinet. x mirror. open cabinet.(stuck)
> open cabinet with crowbar.(+13. The programmer goes to buy a new mirror.)
> s. e.
Master Bedroom
While the programmer is gone, you can get into his desk drawer. But he'll be back soon, so don't waste too much time.
> open drawer. take pencil. close drawer.
> x pencil.(It's unsharpened.)
> sharpen pencil with sharpener.(Nothing happens.)
> open radio. take DuraHell.
> open sharpener. take Infern.
> put DuraHell in sharpener.
> sharpen pencil with sharpener. take DuraHell.
> take all from desk.(You don't actually need these things.)
> w. n.
🧭 Get ID card.
Bathroom
Yes, break the mirror again, but this time, follow the programmer to the mirrors store.
> open cabinet with crowbar.
> s. w. n. n. n. n. e.
Just Mirrors
The programmer will drop his card during the transaction. Don't take it while he's there! But the second he leaves, TAKE THE CARD. He'll notice his loss and re-enter the store the next turn, but ignore him and get outta there.
Note you can't buy a mirror for yourself; you can't afford it.
> x shopkeeper.(The programmer drops the ID card and pays for the mirror.)
> x counter.(The programmer leaves.)
> take card.(+25. The programmer re-enters.)
> w. s. s. s. s. e. n.
🧭 Get the mirror.
Bathroom
> put pillow in sink. open cabinet with crowbar.(+13)
> take mirror. take pillow.
> s. w. n. n. n. w.
🧭 Get cigarette. Get appointment card. Get lighter.
Gravel Path
> x sign. take cigarette box. x it. take cigarette.
> w. n.
Wasteland
> x bones. move bones.(blocked by electricity!)
> wear gloves. move bones. x skeleton. take card.(+13)
> x it.(It's an appointment card for a driver's license test.)
> s. e. e. n. e.
Just Mirrors
> x teen. give cigarette to teen. take lighter.(+13)
> x lighter. x mirrors.
> w. w.
🧭 Learn about amulets.
Amulette Shoppe
> x shopkeeper. x amulets.
> x disk. ask about disk.(Original protects against heat.)
> x jewel. ask about jewel.(Original protects against cold.)
> x boat. ask about boat.(Original protects against illness.)
> x ring. ask about ring.(Original protects against light.)
> x bracelet. ask about bracelet.(Original protects against sound.)
These amulets are all replicas and are also all sold. But maybe you can find the genuine amulets elsewhere.
> e. s. e. s. e.
🧭 Get written test. Get license.
Department of Motor Vehicles
> give appointment to employee.(She gives you a test to fill out.)
For the written test, you need a sharpened pencil and the info from the radio program on channel 319. Here's a reminder:
Residential zone is 17 mph.
School zone is 23 mph.
Hosptial zone is 27 mph.
Freeway zone is 43 mph.
Library zone is 59 mph.
> x test.
Last Name: YOUR-LAST-NAME
First Name: YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME
Middle Name: YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME
Age: YOUR-AGE
Question 1: Your answer: > B
Question 2: Your answer: > C
Question 3: Your answer: > E
Question 4: Your answer: > D
Question 5: Your answer: > A
Question 6: Your answer: > B
Question 7: Your answer: > A
Question 8 asks about a random speed limit.
Question 8: Your answer: > ANSWER-AS-APPROPRIATE
Question 9: Your answer: > B
Question 10: Your answer: > C
> give test to employee.(+25. You have a driver's license.)
> x license.
> take appointment card.(She left it on the counter, and yes, you will need it again.)
> w. n. e. s.
🧭 Get check.
Lobby (of Infernolab)
> get on table. u. u. s. e.
Crawlway (east end)
> put mirror over panel.
> w. n. d. d. e. s.
Cubicle
> sit.
They want you to play Extended Rock Paper Scissors. Make your choices by pushing the appropriate button.
With the mirror above you, you can cheat by knowing what your opponents are picking
If they choose DYNAMITE and SCISSORS, then you should pick either DYNAMITE or SCISSORS to negate the round.
If they choose ROCK and PAPER, then you should pick either ROCK or PAPER to negate the round.
If they choose ROCK and SCISSORS, then you pick DYNAMITE.
If they choose ROCK and DYNAMITE, then you pick PAPER.
If they choose PAPER and SCISSORS, then you pick ROCK.
If they choose PAPER and DYNAMITE, then you pick SCISSORS.
After five successful rounds, you get a check worth 20 Hellmids.
> push APPROPRIATE button.(Repeat until the test is over: +25 and check.)
> x check. stand.
> n. e.
🧭 Get uniform, heat shield.
East end of hall
> put ID card in slot. e. e.
Maintenance Room
The yellow note has the three numbers to turn the dial to. Yes, the combo is randomized.
> x locker. x yellow note.
> turn lock dial to FIRST-NUMBER.
> turn lock dial to SECOND-NUMBER.
> turn lock dial to THIRD-NUMBER.
> open locker. take uniform. x it.
> w. s.
Rocket Lab
> x equipment. x missile. x motor. x cone. x shield.
> take shield.(+13)
> n. n.
🧭 Get ring.
Lab
> x equipment. x booth. x technician. x panel. x red button.
> ask about booth.
> give beer(or liquor)to technician.(+13. He leaves for the ship's bar.)
> push red button.
> enter booth. z. z.
Basement (of Haunted House)
In this scenario, you are a ghost with none of your inventory. You can pass through walls, ceilings, floors, and even go straight up into the air, but if you go too far from the house's environs, you'll return to the booth. You can sometimes push things but never pick them up.
Your goal in this scenario is to get a silver ring in the attic back to Hell.
The first thing to do, then, is get to the attic, but without the people following you. The easiest way to do this is go places they can't (or won't), like outside. Circle around the outside of the house if you have to.
> x portal. x people. i.(empty-handed.)
> u.
Den
The people follow you here. Strand them there by flying outside and up, then back inside, heading for the attic.
> w. u. se. u.
Attic
> push trunk.(The ring is now on the trap door.)
Now go lead the people here so they open the trap door.
> d. d. n.
Den
The people are here where you left them.
> s. u. u.
Attic
The people enter. The ring falls to Upstairs Hall. The trap door is closed again.
Now, ignoring the ring, lead the crowd to the Porch.
> d. d. s.
Porch (west end)
Leave the crowd here and go back to the ring.
> u. n.
Upstairs Hall
> push ring.(It falls down the stairs.)
> d. s.
Porch (west end)
Bring the people inside.
> n.(The porch door sends the ring into the den.)
> n.
Den
You want the people to follow you this time.
> push ring.(The ring falls into the basement.)
> d.
Basement
> push ring —or— take ring.(A priest helpfully flings the ring into the portal.)
> e.
Lab
> x ring. take all.(+50)
> out. s.
Hallway
> put ID card in slot. w. w. w. n. w. s.
🧭 Get waste paper.
Courtyard
> wear uniform. w.
Celestial Security Office
We're pretending we're a janitor here. Our uniform and bin lets us take the paper.
> take waste paper. put it in bin. e.
Courtyard
> x waste paper. remove uniform.
> n. e. s. get on table. u. u. s. w.
🧭 Get flippers and bracelet.
Crawlway (west end)
> open valve. z. z. z. light lighter.(BOOM)
Flying through the air
> z.
Courtyard.
> n. e. s. get on table. u. u. s. w.
Crawlway (west end)
> x huge hole. w.
dumpster
> x flippers. take flippers.(+13)
> x trash. move trash. x bracelet. take bracelet.(+50)
> out.
Alley
> ne. s. get on table. u. u. s. w.
🧭 Get security card.
Crawlway (west end)
I'm assuming the gas valve is still open; open it again if it's closed.
> wear parachute. light lighter.
Floating through the air
> pull ripcord. z.(+25)
Roof of Celestial Security Building
> d.
Celestial Security Office (back room)
> x cabinets. x desk. x equipment.
> x waste paper.
Using the waste paper to learn which line wants what sort of info, TYPE "[answer]" ON KEYBOARD as appropriate repeatedly until the machine produces a card.
The line numbers and ordering are randomized, so I can't give exact instructions this time.
> type "FIRST-NAME" on keyboard.(for first name)
> type "FIRST-INITIAL" on keyboard.(for first initial)
> type "NUMBER" on keyboard.(for number of letters in first name)
> type "LAST-NAME" on keyboard.(for last name)
> type "LAST-NAME-BACKWARDS" on keyboard.(for last name spelled backwards)
> type "AGE" on keyboard.(for age)
> type "MM/DD/YY" on keyboard.(for current date)
> type "DD-MM-YYYY" on keyboard.(for date of birth)
For example, I answered the questions this way on May 13, 2021:
> type "DAVID" on keyboard.(for first name)
> type "D" on keyboard.(for first initial)
> type "5" on keyboard.(for number of letters in first name)
> type "WELBOURN" on keyboard.(for last name)
> type "NRUOBLEW" on keyboard.(for last name spelled backwards)
> type "60" on keyboard.(for age)
> type "05/13/21" on keyboard.(for current date)
> type "11-01-1961" on keyboard.(for date of birth)
Assuming the information you entered is consistent, a Celestial Security Card is printed! +25 points.
> take card. x it.
> e. e. n. e. n.
🧭 Get hellmids. Get ticket.
Bank of Hell
You need two forms of ID to cash your check, which is why we didn't enter here until now.
> x teller. give bill to teller.(They can't convert it.)
> give check to teller.
> give license to teller.
> give security card to teller.(+25. You finally have hellmids.)
> x hellmids.
> s. w. s.
Courtyard
> put hellmids in slot. take ticket. x it.
> n. n. n.
Elevator
> x man. ask man about Heaven.(He points to a sign; he doesn't answer questions.)
> give ticket to man.(Oh, now he talks.)
> s. s. s.(+13)
🧭 Get number card. Get coupon. Get meal. Get carving.
Cloud Tops
> e.
Waiting Room
> x display. x woman.(You saw her in the Celestial Security office.)
> z.(She needs an appointment to get a driver's license.)
> give appointment to woman.(Now she tells you she lost her earrings.)
> give earrings to woman.(+13. She gives you a plastic square and leaves.)
> x square.(It has a "12" printed on it.)
> z.
About this time, a speaker calls for twelve, the display changes, and the south door opens.
> s.
Hall of Audiences
> x keypad.
> press 1.(This is the Divine Intervention Menu.)
> press 2.(This is the Game Intervention Menu.)
> press 3.(Today's special is: a coupon! +13)
> x coupon.(Try to contain your joy.)
> n. w. n. n. w.
Gift Shop
This is a useless location for you, but how often do you get to visit Heaven's gift shop?
> x halos. x wings. x harps. play harp.
> e. e.
Burger Lord
> x menu. x poster. x terminal.
> push red button. put coupon in slot.
> take meal. x meal. x carving. take it.(+50)
> x burger. eat it. x fries. eat it.(The food is awful.)
You're done with Heaven.
> w. n.
Elevator
The elevator operator automatically takes you down. Head to the mountains:
> s. s. e. e. s. e. e.
🧭 Get jewel stone. Get disk.
Top of volcano
There's nothing to do at this location, but I thought you might want to see it anyway.
> w. n.
Lake Shore
> wear flippers. e.(You're pulled underwater.)
Underwater
> n.
Underwater Cave
Without the flippers, you'd never reach this underwater cave.
> x jewel. take jewel.(+50)
> s. z.(You're dragged to a river bank.)
River Bank (south)
> remove flippers.
> n. nw. sw. w. nw. s.
Lava Cave
Use the heat sheild as a canoe:
> x river. put shield in river. enter shield. z. z.
River of Lava, in the heat shield
Note: Lassoing won't work unless you practiced lassoing the rabbit.
> lasso stalagmite.
Landing
You automatically re-take the rope and shield on arrival here.
> x disk. take disk.(+50)
> put shield in river. enter shield. z. z.
Ledge near Lavafall
> take shield.
Now that you have all five amulets, go to the crater north of the wastelands.
> nw. nw. n. w. w. w. w. w. n. n. d.
🧭 Use pitchfork. Cross lake of blood.
Bottom of Crater
> x slab. put pitchfork in holes.(+13; the slab opens like a door.)
> ne. d. n.
Rocky Shore
> x lake.(It's human blood.)
> n.
Lake
To cross the lake, you'll need to face five hazards and fend them off by wearing the appropriate amulet and going north. Remember what the amulet shopkeeper told you:
Disk protects against heat.
Jewel protects against cold.
Rowboat protects against illness.
Ring protects against light.
Bracelet protects against sound.
By the way, the different amulets are incompatable with each other; you activate an amulet by wearing it, but you can only wear one amulet at a time.
Once you reach the island, the lake no longer tries to stop you from crossing it.
Both tools can be moved up or down resulting in four different actions from the lion statue:
left UP and right UP = step forward,
left DOWN and right UP = turn left 90 degrees,
left UP and right DOWN = turn right 90 degrees,
left DOWN and right DOWN = step backwards.
I learned this by experimentation. The lion is initially facing west. You want it to step forward into the path, turn right, step forward through the thicket, then step backwards into the path. This will open paths both east and north from the Island; you don't want the lion statue blocking either.
> move poker up. move crowbar up.(+13. The lion steps forward.)
> move poker up. move crowbar up.(The lion steps forward, smashing the thicket.)
> move poker down. move crowbar down.(The lion steps backwards.)
> take poker. take crowbar.(You don't need them back, but c'mon.)
> d. e.
Between statues
> east —or— climb wall.
Cliff
> x nest. x egg. take egg.
> w. w. n. d. n. n.
Altar
> x skull. take skull.(You take it, but a pterodactyl threatens you.)
> give egg to bird.(+13. The bird leaves.)
Walk all the way back to the river:
> s. s. u. s. s. s. s. u. sw. u. s. s.
> e. e. e. e. e. s. e. se. e. ne. se. e.
🧭 Join the Club.
Bridge
> x troll. x axe.
> give skull to troll.(+19. He gives it back and lets you cross.)
> e. se.
Forest Clearing
> x gate. x wall. s.
Lawn
> x mansion. s.
Entryway
> x door. s.
Club Room
Samuels welcomes you as a new member of the club and tells you to follow him to the boat for today's expedition.
> x trophies. n. w. w.(+13.)
You and Samuels are off to find other versions of Heaven and Hell.
The End
Extras
Characters
A bartender tends the bar in the yacht.
Several passengers are on the yacht. When the yacht docks, they start to disembark, but the boat never fully empties.
The boat's pilot (who is also the captain) is in the control room of the yacht.
A woman appears in the Briefing Room when you sit down there. She explains how the afterlife works.
A Celestial Security officer is questioning a woman about her personal information in the Celestial Security Office. You'll see the woman again much later in the waiting room.
A DMV official in the Department of Motor Vehicles wants to see your appointment card.
A pair of maintenance workers are briefly seen when you first enter the Infernolab lobby. One manages to set himself on fire by trying to change a light bulb.
A rabbit is hopping around the field near the farmhouse.
A programmer is editing some C code in the cardboard house's master bedroom.
Various scientists, including Dr. Merkwurtigblatt, are testing subjects with a Rock-Paper-Scissors-Dynamite game.
A teenaged shopkeeper is in the Just Mirrors store. He'd like a cigarette.
A shopkeeper is in the Amulette Shoppe. He can explain what different amulets do.
A technician is in the Lab. He'd like something alcoholic.
A crowd of people are in the haunted house, including scientists, reporters, and a priest, all looking for a spirit such as yourself.
A teller in the Bank of Hell can cash a check for you if you have the right documentations.
An elevator operator operates the elevator betwen Hell and Heaven.
God themself speaks to you, via a recording, in the Hall of Audiences.
A pterodactyl is guarding a gold skull on an altar instead of its egg in its nest.
A troll blocks your way across a bridge. You must show him a great treasure before he'll let you pass.
Samuels is a portly, white-haired man in a safari outfit. He welcomes you as a new member of his explorer's club.
An oarsman is also on the rowboat.
Credits
This is the response to CREDITS:
Perdition's Flames
TADS Interactive Fiction
By Michael J. Roberts
Release 930912
Copyright (c) 1993 by Michael J. Roberts. All Rights Reserved.
Game design and implementation: Mike Roberts.
Testing: Roger Dominick, John Eras, Jeff Laing, Steve McAdams, Bob Newell, Trevor Powell, Lon Thomas.
Inventory
You have no inventory limit. Hooray! Feel free to take everything that's not nailed down. And you can't put the game into an unwinnable state, so feel free to experiment.
Amulets
The amulets magically protect you from various attacks in the lake of blood. But you can only wear one amulet at a time, so you'll need to swap them around during your crossing as appropriate. When you successfully cross the lake of blood, these attacks will stop.
Note that the amulets in the Amulette Shoppe are fakes and replicas, but you can ask the shopkeeper there about them to learn what the originals do.
a genuine silver ring. It's in the attic of the haunted house.
As a ghost, you can't take the ring, but you can push it and other things. You'll need to carefully manage things so the ring moves in stages to the basement and out the portal. Once you're back in Hell, you can pick up the ring normally.
The ring protects its wearer against light-based attacks.
a genuine gold disk. It's on the landing off to one side of the lava river; you'll need the heat shield, the rope, and lassoing skill to get there.
The disk protects its wearer against heat-based attacks.
Note: Wearing the disk doesn't change how hot the lava river feels. I think that's a minor bug, personally.
a genuine gold bracelet. Find it by moving the trash when inside the dumpster.
a certificate. It falls out of the junk mail when you first examine it.
Read it to learn about the Hades Explorers' Society. I don't think you actually need it, but it doesn't hurt to hold onto it, just in case. This is the only item in the game that gives you a clue as to what the game's ultimate goal is.
a check. Acquire this in the cubicle by winning at Rock-Paper-Scissors-Dynamite, but you'll have to cheat: see mirror.
an ID card. Acquire it at Just Mirrors, but it's tricky.
This is a timed puzzle begun by following the programmer when he's buying a new mirror for his bathroom (see crowbar.
After he drops the card, wait a turn for him to leave the store, then immediately take the card before he re-enters the store, looking for it.
The ID card is wearable.
In Infernolab, at the east end of the hall, open the door by inserting the ID card into the slot. You'll have to use the card the same way when leaving the east wing of the building.
an appointment card. In the wasteland, find it by examining the skeleton under the bones; wear the gloves when moving the bones.
In the Department of Motor Vehicles, give the apppointment card to the employee to get a written test to fill out.
Take back the appointment card from the counter where the employee left it.
In Heaven's waiting room, give the appointment card to the woman.
a written test. In the Department of Motor Vehicles, get the test by giving the appointment card to the employee.
Using the sharpened pencil and the info you learned from channel 319 on the radio, answer the questions as best you can.
Give the completed test back to the employee. If enough of your answers are correct, she'll give you a driver's license.
a driver's license. Acquire it in the Department of Motor Vehicles by giving a completed written test to the employee, with enough of the questions answered correctly.
some waste paper. It's in the Celestial Security Office.
Steal the waste paper by pretending to be a janitor. While wearing a maintenance uniform and carrying a recycling bin, enter the office, take the waste paper, and put it in your bin. Read the waste paper after you leave.
You need the information on the waste paper when using the machine in the west half of the office to make a Celestial Security Card.
a Celestial Security Card. It's made by the machine in the west half of the Celestial Security Office.
a glass of liquor and a mug of beer. Acquire these by asking the bartender at the yacht's bar for liquor or beer respectively.
If you drink the liquor, the empty glass vanishes.
If you drink the beer, the empty mug vanishes.
Get another drink from the bartender, but don't drink it.
In the lab (with the booth), give the liquor or beer to the technician. He'll run off to the ship, leaving the booth free for you to use.
a rope. It's on the Pier.
In the field, repeatedly try to lasso a rabbit until you catch it. The rabbit escapes, but that's fine. It's the lassoing skill you want, not the rabbit.
On the river of lava, using the heat shield as a raft, lasso the stalagmite to reach the landing there.
Turn the dial to 319, as suggested by the woman in the briefing room. Listen to the discussion on speed limits for several turns then use logic to figure out which speeds limits, sign sizes, and sign colors go with each zone. You'll need this information when taking the written test in the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Note that the radio has a compartment containing a battery.
a bucket. It's hanging from the well in the barnyard.
At the lake shore, fill the bucket with water.
Downtown, throw the water at the burning man. He'll drop a key.
a pitchfork. It's in the barn.
At the bottom of the crater, there's a slab with holes. Put the pitchfork into the holes and the slab opens like a door.
a pair of earrings. They're in the gaping hole in the cockpit of the airplane in the barn.
You may wear them if you like.
In Heaven's waiting room, after giving the appointment card to the woman, she tells you she lost her earrings. Give the earrings to her and she'll give you a number card in exchange.
a small metal key. Downtown, it's dropped by the man on fire after you throw a bucketful of water at him.
Pry open the cockpit's storage compartment with the crowbar; there's a parachute inside.
In the programmer's bathroom, open the cabinet with the crowbar. The first time you do this, the cabinet's mirror will smash, giving you a chance to take and sharpen a pencil in his bedroom while he's gone to get a new mirror.
Before opening the cabinet a second time with the crowbar, put a pillow in the sink so the mirror doesn't smash this time. Take the mirror.
After putting the mirror back in the cabinet, remove the pillow from the sink and open the cabinet with the crowbar a third time. This time, follow the programmer to the mirror store and grab his ID card during the one turn when the card's in the store and he isn't.
When on the lion statue, put the poker and crowbar into the slots. Now, by moving them up and down, you can make the statue walk around.
a parachute. It's in the cockpit's storage compartment; pry open the compartment with the crowbar.
At the west end of the crawlway, wear the parachute, turn on the gas, then light the lighter. The explosion will fling you into the air. While floating, pull the ripcord. Now you will float all the way to the roof of the Celestial Security Building.
If you're not wearing the parachute or if you don't pull the ripcord, you land safely in the courtyard instead.
a pair of rubber gloves. They're in the kitchen cabinet of the cardboard house.
In the wasteland, wear the gloves when you want to move the bones. The gloves protect you from the electricity.
a paper recycling bin. It's in the kitchen of the cardboard house.
Take it. While wearing a maintenance uniform and carrying the bin, you can pretend to be a janitor when visiting the Celestial Security Office. Take the waste paper there and put it in your bin. Read the waste paper after you leave.
a poker. It's in the fireplace tool holder in the cardboard house's living room.
Put the poker and crowbar into the slots on the top of the lion statue. Now, by move them up and down, you can make the statue walk around.
a DuraHell battery. It's in the radio compartment.
In the Department of Motor Vehicles, use the sharpened pencil and the info you learned from channel 319 on the radio to answer the questions on the written test.
a pencil sharpener. It's on the desk in the master bedroom of the cardboard house.
First, get the programmer away from his desk; see crowbar. Now you can use (or take) the sharpener.
a pillow. It's on the bed in the small bedroom of the cardboard house.
Put the pillow in the bathroom sink so that when you open the cabinet with the crowbar, the mirror falls safely onto the pillow and you can use the mirror elsewhere.
a mirror. It's part of the cabinet in the bathroom of the cardboard house.
To acquire the mirror without it breaking, put the pillow in the sink, then open the cabinet with the crowbar.
In the southeastern crawlway, put the mirror over the panel. Now, in the cubicle, you can cheat at the Rock-Paper-Scissors-Dynamite game because you see your oppponent's choices in the mirror.
After you've won the check, return the mirror to the cabinet.
a maintenance uniform. It's inside the locker in Infernolab's maintenance room; the combo to the locker is on the yellow note.
In Celestial Security Office, impersonate a janitor by wearing the uniform and carrying the recycling bin. Put the waste paper into the bin and leave with it.
a heat shield. It's in Inferolab's rocket lab.
In the lava cave, you can ride the shield like a raft.
a cigarette box containing a cigarette. It's on the gravel path west of the city.
In Just Mirrors, give the cigarette to the teen, then take his lighter.
a pocket lighter. In Just Mirrors, the teen leaves it on the counter when you give him a cigarette.
At the west end of the crawlway, turn on the gas, then light the lighter. The explosion will fling you to the courtyard. Now you can get into the dumpster via the new hole in the crawlway.
At the west end of the crawlway, wear the parachute, turn on the gas, then light the lighter. The explosion will fling you into the air. While floating, pull the ripcord. Now you will float all the way to the roof of the Celestial Security Building.
a pair of flippers. They're in the Infernolab dumpster.
See lighter on how to make a hole in the crawlway that you can use to get into the dumpster.
Wear the flippers when swimming underwater in the mountain lake. You need them in order to reach the underwater cave.
a rapture meal. Obtain it at Burger Lord by pushing the red button then putting the coupon into the slot.
the support of Robin Johnson, Ville Lavonius, Andrew Schultz, Kenneth Hon, Carl Muckenhoupt, Mark Musante, Phil Tatro, Mitch, Astringer, and Vivienne Dunstan;
the generous support of Janice M Eisen and Matthew Foxley;
