[Department] Bert exclaims, "Log on!"

GM arrives from the east.

[Department] GM says, "(In about five minutes.)"

[Department] Peregrine exclaims, "Woo!"

Peregrine arrives at home.

Maria arrives from the east.

Roger has arrived.

Pip has arrived.

Susan ties her white hair into a ponytail.

Susan does a little jig.

GM exclaims, "Welcome back to the Department of Unconventional Affairs!"

GM asks, "What agents happen to be on duty in our office today?"

GM resets everyone's fate point pools.

Susan says, "Susan Sullivan, reporting for duty."

[Department] GM asks, "Maria? Penny?"

[Department] Maria says, "Yeah, I'm here. Was looking for a last name."

GM says, "This would be a good time for everyone to set their fate points."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "I'd like to speak to Inhuman Resources about spectral harassment."

Maria sets her current fate point total to 3.

Susan sets their current fate point total to 3.

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "You're starting in that Pun-ishment aspect early, I see."

GM sets his current fate point total to 3.

[Department] GM says, "We can start as soon as Slinger arrives..."

[Department] Knuckles says, "Sorry, couldn't get into my account"

[Department] GM says (to Knuckle), "I thought only Pip had that problem..."

[Department] GM asks, "Did you need a wizard's help?"

[Department] Penny says, "No, just needed to remember which character name I used last"

GM asks, "OK, are we all ready?"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "I am!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "We are ready"

[Department] Maria nods.

GM says, "So the three of you are on duty today in the local office of the DUA. One of you happens to be listening in to the police scanners for anything interesting going on in the vicinity."

GM says, "(You guys decide which one that is.)"

Maria probably is, being the new girl relegated to boring jobs like that.

Penny exclaims, "Yeah!"

GM says, "And you get a message reporting that someone has found a dead body. Which, sure, that happens every so often..."

GM says, "...but it's not so often that it's a dead body that has apparently been attacked and killed by a swarm of ants."

Maria jerks out of her kind of bored state. Oh! Wait, what?

Susan senses death is in the air!

Penny says, "Zounds! I mean ... Wow"

GM says, "The police are already on their way to the Piney Grove Campground, an hour or two outside of town."

[Crows-Nest] Roger says, "Ant Flow is back in town"

GM says, "But this *might* be a matter for the DUA."

[Department] Penny asks, "Do we have any semi-offical jurisdiction, or do we have to work around the cops?"

Susan exclaims, "It may be time to up the ants -- uh, I mean the ante!"

[Department] GM says, "Officially, no one even knows that the Department exists."

Maria asks, "Ants? I mean, that's not that weird, right?"

Maria says, "Almost sounds reasonable compared to what I was told y'all do here."

Penny says, "Well, it has been a slow day here, so we better check it out just in case."

Maria says, "Yeah, sure. Better than nothing."

Penny says, "(Penny has already lost 50 $ today playing poker with Susan)"

[Department] Susan says, "hhehe"

Maria says, "Im' sure there's a scientific explanation for this."

Susan says nothing. Meaningfully.

Penny says (to maria), "It helps to be thorough."

[Department] Penny asks, "Are we the only people, err, manning the office?"

Susan says, "Yeah, let's check it out. The only thing that BUGS me is that ants are hardly fair shooting practice."

Susan says, "Ho."

[Department] GM says, "This particular office, yes."

Susan will never understand why nobody finds her jokes PUNny.

[Department] GM says, "But the Department is a big enough organization that there are switchboards and things."

[Department] GM says, "So you can have your calls re-routed, make sure your higher-ups know you're out of the office, etc."

Penny takes care of setting them to out of office.

Roger has disconnected.

Roger has connected.

GM says, "Assuming that you've all got a vehicle of some sort that you can pile into, about an hour and a half later you find yourself pulling up to the front office of the Piney Grove Campground."

GM says, "There are several vehicles here -- in addition to the regular cars in the lot, there's also an exterminator truck, a couple police cars and an ambulance."

Susan steps out, and puts on her black sunglasses.

GM says, "You can also see that there's an area marked off with yellow tape not far away, with several police officers standing around it."

Susan says (to Penny), "Try not to attract attention."

Maria uh, puts on sunglasses, too. They're not black, though. They're rainbow.

[Department] GM says, "Yay."

Susan says (to Maria), "Nice shades."

[Department] Maria says, "This is basically her first case, I think. She's *very* new."

Penny asks, "Why are you all wearing welding googles?"

Penny goes east.

Penny arrives from the east.

Maria asks, "To, uh, protect our eyes?"

[Crows-Nest] GM says (to Penny), "You can just narrate where you go. You don't actually have to leave the room."

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "hehe"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "hah"

Penny strolls over to the cops.

GM says (to Penny), "The one with a moustache and a trenchcoat seems to be in charge."

Susan follows, already having a bad feeling about this. Penny unnerves her.

GM says (to Penny), "'Sorry, if you want to get to your cabin, you'll have to go around.'"

Penny asks, "Oh, I'm terrible sorry, officer, I was just wondering what happened here? (sheepishly) Is it safe?"

GM asks, "As you get closer, you catch sight of what all the cops are looking at: a body lying face-down on the ground, covered in ants. It seems to be wearing some kind of uniform, possibly? And a back pack of some kind?"

GM says (to Penny), "'Ants. And no, it's probably not safe. We'll probably have to evacuate the park. So if you want a tip, you might want to start packing up your things now.'"

Susan looks at the ants as closely as she can without overstepping the limit.

[Department] Susan asks (of GM), "are the ants an aspect?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Sure!"

[Department] Susan asks, "ie can I suddenly have a vision about where they'll go next, or something like that?"

[Department] GM asks, "Is this Investigate?"

[Department] Susan offers fate point?

[Department] GM says (to Susan), "Hmm, interesting."

[Department] Susan exclaims, "you can be vague and spooky!"

[Department] GM says, "(The answer is 'yes!' and also 'hang on I have to think of something'.)"

GM asks (of Susan), "For a moment, it seems almost like the body is rising up off the ground to look at you -- or is it the *ants* rising up, in a mass that's only in the *shape* of the dead body?"

GM says, "Either way, it seems to stare straight into your eyes, and then-- but no. That's not real. That didn't actually happen at all."

[Department] GM says, "(I'm not sure if that's a satisfactory answer?)"

Susan's hair, however, is ruffled from static electricity. It definitely wasn't like that before. Damn visions.

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Well, I assume it convyed some hints!"

[Department] Susan says, "And is pretty cool anyway."

Susan spends a fate point, leaving them with 2.

[Department] Maria says, "Can I roll academics to see what I might know about these ants? Like to identify what kind they might be, and whether I think this is normal for them. I've probably read something about ant behavior in a science textbook."

Penny asks (of cops), "But isn't it very unusal for ants to attack people like that?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

Maria rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: 0 -1 -1 +1 | Average (1)

[Department] Maria says, "Bleh."

[Department] Maria says, "Insect behavior is not my forte."

[Department] GM says, "Hmm. That will give you some info, but if you make +2, you could get more."

[Department] GM says, "(I mean, if you get your result up to +2 or more.)"

[Department] Maria says, "Not sure I want to start blowing my fate points. I'm happy to not really know enough about ants."

GM says (to Maria), "You do recognize this breed of ant, and you do that although they're pretty omnivorous, you've ever heard of a case of them attacking a human like this."

[Department] GM says, "Fair enough."

[Department] GM says, "Also, I will throw in a coda to Susan's vision:"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says (to cop), "Never mind, my colleague just rolled for that"

Maria slips in next to Penny and the policeman. "No. No I'm pretty sure this is not normal. I mean, they might eat human flesh, but probably wouldn't have attacked, you know?"

GM says (to Penny), "'I guess? What do I know about ants? I'm a cop.'"

Maria asks, "Maybe the body was already here?"

[Department] Susan waits for coda.

[Crows-Nest] Susan drinks coda-cola.

[Department] GM says (to Susan), "You realize that the 'ghost ants' that you saw rising up from the body weren't *just* on the body, but that there was a trail of them leading into the woods."

Maria says, "Or maybe he slathered himself in honey first."

[Department] GM says, "(They're vanished now, of course, with the vision.)"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "aha."

[Department] Susan says, "Intriguing."

Penny asks (of cop), "But the uniform that poor man is wearing, was he a member of the police force like yourself, or of some other branch of government?"

[Department] GM says, "If you guys are trying to get info from the cop, that seems like a Rapport obstacle."

[Department] GM says, "Vs., say, +2"

Penny rolls Great (4) + 4dF: +1 -1 -1 0 | Good (3)

[Department] Penny says, "Yeah, I want to know who the guy was, and if there have been other attacks"

GM says (to Penny), "'Ha. Nope. See the patch on the arm of the blue jumpsuit he's wearing?' The cop brushes some of the ants away. 'That "AA" symbol? That's the Anti-Ant Pest Control company.'"

GM says, "'Ironic, huh?'"

Susan says, "Maybe it was revenge."

GM says, "And you realize that the thing on the man's back is probably a pesticide sprayer."

Penny says, "Quite! Like that song from singer Alanis Morrisette."

Maria gives Susan a look.

GM says, "'Yeah, the lady who runs this place says she's been having a lot of problems with ants lately. Looks like she wasn't kidding.'"

Susan says (to Maria), "What? My hair? That happens all the time."

Maria just rolls her eyes and looks away.

GM says, "'But this is the first time I've heard of anything like *this* happening.'"

Penny says, "Yeah, very strange. Well, we'll be careful. Thank you, officer."

GM says, "As you're talking, a couple of paramedics (wearing gloves and other protective gear) start wrapping up the body in a big black bag."

[Department] Penny asks, "Unless someone else can think of questions?"

Susan says (to paramedics), "Better keep an eye on that corpse."

[Department] Penny asks, "Oh, can I try Lore if this rings any supernatural bells?"

Susan says, "One never knows..."

GM says (to Susan), "'Yeah. Sure.'"

[Department] GM asks, "Sure! This is 'Mysteries'?"

[Department] GM says, "Seems like a +2"

[Department] GM says, "(Overcome)"

[Department] Penny says, "I have it as Lore(weird) but sure"

Penny rolls Good (3) + 4dF: 0 0 -1 0 | Fair (2)

[Department] GM says, "Tie is succeed at a minor cost..."

[Department] Susan says, "Minor costs can be fun"

[Department] Penny says, "Would "suddenly slightly scared of ants" work? Also ties with my unsettling knowledge aspect"

[Department] Penny says, "I'm just assuming whatever I know about man-eating ants is creepy. Just a hunch."

GM says (to Penny), "You kneel down, looking for signs of the supernatural. Magic can be used to control people, animals or even insects, but there are usually traces that a sufficiently knowledgeable person can detect..."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "A pretty safe hunch, as hunches go."

GM says, "...Penny Try as you might, you can't find any of those tell-tale signs of magic that you would expect. But you do wind up feeling a disturbing itching..."

[Department] GM asks, "What are you wearing?"

[Department] GM says, "(Trousers, a dress, ...?)"

[Department] Penny says, "Some blouse/skirt combination, I guess"

GM exclaims (at Penny), "Something is crawling up your legs under your skirt!"

Penny exclaims, "Excuse me!"

Penny runs behind a car and checks out her leg.

GM exclaims, "Ants!"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "I'm not gonna show some men my ankle like a hussie!"

[Department] GM says, "Hee."

Penny tries to swipe the ants off her legs. "Susan! Mary! Quick!"

[Department] GM says, "So the summary is that you've confirmed that it's definitely not magic/supernatural."

Susan says, "I was afraid something like this would happen."

[Department] GM says, "And are now covered in ants."

Maria sighs and follows Penny behind the car to try to help.

Susan says (to Penny), "Stand still! I'll shoot them off! Actually, I won't, that would be stupid. Ho."

[Crows-Nest] GM asks, "What did you call her?"

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "Hee"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "heh"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "In the DouA, you only learn people's name when they have survived more than 3 missions"

Susan says, "Ho. Ho."

Susan says, "I sometimes forget to finish my chuckles."

Penny uses her handkerchief to wipe ants of her legs.

GM says, "The paramedics have loaded the body into the ambulance, and most of the police have gotten into their cars as well. All that's left is the crime scene tape, one duty cop watching the scene who apparently drew the short straw, and a whole bunch of ants on the ground, going this way and that."

Susan says, "Okay, this is definitely a case for Unconventional Affairs. Don't ask me how I know. I know."

Susan says, "And something will happen soon."

Maria looks questioningly at Susan, but says nothing.

Penny says, "All I can say that it's not magical in nature."

Susan says, "We need to check the woods."

Penny says (to susan), "Lead the way"

Maria follows the gals into the woods.

Susan walks briskly in the general direction that she remembers from her vision.

GM asks, "OK! Are you following the trails with signposts that say they lead to the rental cabins, or are you going skipping the trails and going directly into the woods?"

Susan says, "No trails for me."

GM asks, "Alright! You head into the woods. How are you deciding where to go?"

GM asks, "Just a straight line in that direction?"

Penny asks, "Are there any ant roads?"

Susan says (to GM), "That's the plan."

Susan says, "But slowly."

GM exclaims (at Penny), "There are, but Susan has decided that they are very much not for her!"

Penny asks, "Ho! I mean hey! Susan, shouldn't we follow the ants?"

[Department] GM says (to Penny), "Oh, wait, I misread you."

[Department] GM says, "Sorry, I thought you just said 'any roads'."

[Department] GM says, "I'm not familiar with the term 'ant road'."

[Department] GM asks, "Do you mean, are there lines of ants moving in and out of the woods?"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Yes"

[Department] Penny asks, "Don't you call them ant roads?"

[Setting the zoned flag.]

[Department] Maria says, "I've never heard the term, but I did know what you meant."

[Department] GM says, "*I* don't, but then, I don't deal in ants very often."

[Department] Susan says, "Our GM likes to do things by the seat of his pANTS"

GM says (to Penny), "Then I will say: yes, there are! And they start out going the same direction Susan is going, but then after a short way into the woods, they start to bend and twist and go off in a different direction."

Susan mutters under her breath as she walks, 'At least the ghosts are leaving me alone for once...'

Penny asks, "Ho! I mean hey! Susan, shouldn't we follow the ants?"

Susan says, "Oh, right."

Susan says, "Very well, Penelope, let us follow the ants."

GM says, "Then you follow the ants! As you go along, you notice that every so often, there are smaller lines of ants going off in different directions, separating from or joining the larger line..."

GM says, "...and it seems like the ant trail you're following is getting bigger and bigger, becoming almost an ant highway..."

Penny says, "Maybe this is due to all the global warming"

GM says, "...until you come to a clearing which is practically *swarming* with hants."

Maria says, "I've nver seen so man--oh shit."

Susan says (to Penny), "Everything is too hot for you -- oh, ants."

GM says, "There are ant hills all around, and some holes that are as big as your fist or even bigger..."

[Crows-Nest] Penny exclaims, "Hants! Why did it have to be hants!"

Penny exclaims, "My golly!"

Susan says, "This appears to be a hANTed clearing, ladies."

Penny blankfaces.

GM says, "...and over there, next to a shovel, there's a place where it looks like someone's dug out a much bigger hole in the ground, big enough for a person to climb down into if they wanted."

Susan says, "Ah, right, I forgot to underline my pun with a Ho, Ho, Ho."

Susan says, "We tread on hole-y ground. Ho, ho, ho."

Maria steps over some ant hills and peers into the big hole.

[Crows-Nest] (from Maria) Susan pushes her in.

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "snrk"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "it's not your time yet, little one"

GM says (to Maria), "It's dark down there, but you see a hollowed out space, as big as a alrge. There are lines of ants climbing in and out of it, but as far as you can tell from up here, it doesn't *look* like the floor of it is swarming with quite so many ants as up here on the ground."

[Department] GM says, "Er, typo thing: as big as a large room."

[Department] Maria says, "Was about to ask, heh."

[Department] Penny closes google translate.

[Department] GM says (to Penny), "Hee."

Penny pulls an old-fashioned revolver out of her pocket and checks the chambers. "Okay, I guess there's no way but down."

Susan peers down also. 'I'm simple febrile with ANTicipation.'

Susan says, "(simply)"

[Department] GM says, "So you're going down? Let's say it's about a ten foot (three meter) drop."

[Department] Maria says, "Eep."

Susan takes out a powerful handgun. The latest model. Perfect for the stylish hitwoman.

Penny grabs the shovel, just in case.

[Department] Penny asks (of GM), "Can we climb down, using the walls of the hole?"

Maria pats her handgun to make sure it's still there, not that she intends to shoot ants.

[Department] GM says (to Penny), "Sure -- climbing *down* will be easy."

[Department] GM asks, "So is everyone going down?"

Maria asks, "How do we intend to, uh, get back up?"

Maria hestitates.

Penny says, "Maybe we should let them know that we are going down a hole, using our mobile telephones"

Maria says, "Good plan."

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "Yay."

GM says, "A bored switchboard operator makes a note of this."

Susan exclaims, "Let's also tell them we might get to down an a-hole! Ho, ho, ho!"

[Crows-Nest] Penny exclaims (at Maria), "Let's push her and run away real quick!"

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "hehe"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME FOREVER PUNY MORTAL"

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE PUNNY IMMORTAL"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "hahaha"

[Department] GM asks, "So, is everyone going down the hole?"

Penny says (to susan), "Why don't you go first, gunsel"

[Department] Penny says, "Yes"

Susan says, "Sure, Ice Cube."

[Department] Penny says, "Sorry, I'm still in D&D mode"

GM says, "OK, you all clamber down into the hole. In some order."

Susan jumps down!

Maria also jumps, landing in a low crouch.

GM says, "Under the ground, you see a network of tunnels in the walls, some tiny ant-sized ones, some larger ones that you could reach your arm into, and some even big enough to crawl through on your hands and knees."

GM says, "There are lines of ants moving back and forth from one tunnel to another, including ones going up and down to the surface."

GM says, "You also smell something unpleasant -- a bitter, acrid, chemical odor."

[Department] Maria asks, "So.. the smell of ants?"

[Department] GM says, "No, this is something artificial-seeming. Something... toxic, even."

Susan says, "Hmm. Where's the a-hole? There's usually an a-hole behind these things."

[Department] Penny asks, "Can I try Lore to identify it?"

Maria wrinkles up her nose.

[Department] GM says, "You can! Normal Lore for this."

Penny rolls Average (1) + 4dF: +1 -1 +1 +1 | Good (3)

GM exclaims (at Penny), "You've smelled that before -- it's pesticide!"

Susan says, "This reminds me of the time I was hired to take out a gangster granny. By the time I got there, she was already dead. Slipped while feeding her cats, and got eaten."

GM rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: -1 -1 0 +1 | Average (1)

Susan says, "Of course, cats are bigger than ants."

GM says, "It's fairly dark down here, but anyone who has Danger Sense can use Notice to defend against that Stealth roll I just made :)"

Maria rolls Good (3) + 4dF: 0 0 0 +1 | Great (4)

Penny says, "This reminds me of pesticide, my dad used it on his kangaroo farms."

Susan asks (of Penny), "Who the hell uses pesticide on kangaroos?"

GM exclaims (at Maria), "Suceess with style -- and you suddenly realize that there's a massive swarm of ants building up *right behind you*!"

Maria turns around quckly, shouting to the others.

GM exclaims, "Initiative!"

[Department] GM says (to Maria), "Success with style on a defense gets you a boost."

GM clears the initiative.

Susan registers Susan at init 0.

GM registers GM at init 4.

Maria registers Maria at init 3.

[Department] GM asks, "Penny?"

Penny registers Penny at init 1.

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

[Department] Penny says, "I'm having some lag"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Death you didn't see that coming."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "(yes, my puns are growing worse)"

[Department] Maria says, "Ja. I don't know yet what to name it. Something like "prepared", but more useful."

[Crows-Nest] Penny asks, "You have a Notice of 0?"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Ye."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Yes, even."

GM exclaims, "The swelling swarm of ants grows as more and more lines of ants flow into it. It's now the size of a human being! And it's swinging what are almost like arms in your direction!"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) MARIA(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "I guess that Death is very chilled about threats."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Since everything is inevitable, why make a fuss, patience, etc..."

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "Hm. one sec."

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "thinking."

[Crows-Nest] Maria asks, "Steps back and shoots into the mass of ants, because what could go wrong?"

[Crows-Nest] GM exclaims, "OK!"

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "(So I'm out of arm-hitting range.)"

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: 0 0 0 -1 | Mediocre (0)

Maria uses that boost, because she had time (prepared) to take aim.

[Department] GM says, "https://www.webwhiteboard.com/board/vt9dt63v"

[Department] Maria says, "Because there's almost no way the ants are rolling under a 0, heh."

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 0 +1 +1 | Great (4)

[Department] Maria says, "Ok, I'm going to invoke "surivvor, not victim", b/c fuck this, I'm not dying here."

[Department] Maria says, "Which ties it."

Maria spends a fate point, leaving her with 2.

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "You've seen Ant-Man. You've seen Ant-Man & The Wasp. Now prepare yourselves for the next level... ANT-THING."

[Department] Maria asks, "Which is no damage, but another boost for later?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Correct!"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Narrate that!"

Maria shoots directly into the center of the ant mass. They scatter a little, not seeming to take any harm.

[Department] Maria says, "The idea being that it's harder for them to attack/easier for us to attack, if they're not a giant being."

[Department] GM asks, "Excellent. So a boost of something like 'Semi-Dispersed'?"

[Department] Maria says, "Sure!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan asks, "Or 'Divided They Fall'?"

[Crows-Nest] Maria says, "I like that :)"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) PENNY(1) Susan(0)

[Department] GM says, "You go ahead and edit https://www.webwhiteboard.com/board/vt9dt63v as appropriate :)"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "yay"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Penny!"

[Department] Penny asks, "Can I try and use Deceive to create an advantage? Like stepping forward, waving my arms and shooting wildly at it to make myself seem like the main threat?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Divide ant conquer"

[Crows-Nest] Maria groans.

Penny rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: +1 -1 0 +1 | Good (3)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 0 +1 0 | Average (1)

[Crows-Nest] Susan exclaims (at Penny), "Hey!"

[Department] GM exclaims, "The ants have no Empathy! THey are completely bamboozed!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Bambooze: alcohol made from distilled bamboo."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "That's a great name for an advantage!"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Stop pandaring to the GM"

[Department] GM asks, "Are you also moving, or is it Susan's turn?"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "I said I stepped forward, so Suse, yeah"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) SUSAN(0)

Susan goes in, guns blazing.

Susan rolls Great (4) + 4dF: 0 -1 -1 0 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 -1 -1 +1 | Average (1)

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "I'll spend a fate point if that makes them take a consequence."

[Department] GM says, "The ANT-THING itself is something like a nameless NPC, sorta."

[Department] GM says, "So it will lose boxes one-for-one as you attack it."

[Department] Susan says, "Aha."

[Department] Penny says, "Use my advantage, silly"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Oh!"

[Department] Susan says, "Yes. I'll use that."

[Department] GM asks, "So you're now ahead by three shifts?"

[Department] Susan says, "Yep."

[Department] GM exclaims, "You take this one out completely! Roleplace that!"

[Department] GM says, "Roleplay"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "ok!"

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "(My typing gets worse when I'm a GM.)"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "I feel you, bother"

[Department] GM asks, "Also, as this individual swarm of aggressive ants is taken down, you realize that the ant colony at large -- the rest of the ants moving to and fro -- is getting weaker. What would you call that Aspect?"

(From Susan) Susan fires volleys of bullets which seem to curve around in impossible trajectories, her hair alive with static electricity. In a few moments, the ant-thing is pulverised, splattering everyone with gross squashed ant juice. Except for Susan herself, who somewhere avoids the full splash of her gratuitious ant massacre.

[Department] Penny asks, "Weakened colony?"

[Department] Susan says (to GM), "'Scared Antless'"

[Department] GM says, "Nice."

GM advances the initiative: END OF ROUND

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

[Department] Penny asks, "Isn't ant juice icy?"

[Department] Penny says, "er, itchy, I mean"

GM exclaims, "The ants are still swarming, and again, they're grouping up into a *second* ant-thing, threatening you!"

GM says, "And at the same time..."

[Department] GM asks, "Hey, Susan? You know how you're sometimes Pestered By Phantoms?"

[Department] Susan asks, "Yes?"

[Department] Susan says, "Go on."

[Department] GM asks (of Susan), "And you know how there have probably been a lot of ants killed down here already, between the pesticides and, y'know, your killing a bunch of them?"

[Department] Susan says, "Uh-huh."

[Department] GM asks, "It would be pretty terrible if some of those dead ants came back as ghosts, wouldn't it?"

[Department] Maria says, "The tiniest ghosts!"

Penny goes east.

Penny arrives from the east.

[Department] Susan says, "Yes it would! And yes, I accept the compel."

[Department] Penny says, "Ghost ants! Ghants."

GM gives a fate point to Susan.

GM exclaims, "And then, visible only to Susan... *another* ant-thing appears out of thin air! And attacks her!"

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 -1 0 0 | Average (1)

[Department] GM says, "That's an attack with Fight."

Susan rolls Good (3) + 4dF: +1 +1 0 -1 | Great (4)

[Department] Susan says, "I defend with Fight."

[Department] GM exclaims, "You succeed! With style!"

[Department] Susan says, "What kind of mortal incarnation of Death would I be if I couldn't punch ghosts? :D"

[Department] GM exclaims, "And get a boost against the phANTom!"

Penny asks, "Susan! Are you mad?"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) MARIA(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

Maria shoots at the new (visible) ant thing.

Susan exclaims (at Penny), "Don't worry, I've got this. Damn phANTom!"

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: -1 +1 +1 0 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 0 +1 -1 | Fair (2)

[Department] GM exclaims, "Another tie!"

[Department] Maria asks, "Is divided-they-fall still useful, or did that go away when the first ant thing died?"

[Department] GM says, "Let's say it's still there."

[Department] GM says, "As is Scared Antless, with a free invoke."

[Department] Maria says, "Ok, tagging it then. This group is a little less sticky, having lost so many the first time around."

[Department] Maria says, "So 4 against 2"

GM exclaims, "The mass of ants has a gaping hole in the middle of it where the bullets smashed through the ants!"

GM exclaims, "But it's still moving!"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) PENNY(1) Susan(0)

Penny pulls out her old revolver and fires at the visible ant thing as well!

Penny rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: +1 0 +1 -1 | Good (3)

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: +1 0 +1 0 | Superb (5)

[Department] Penny says, "uh oh"

GM says, "The mass of ants, constantly in motion, separates as the bullet passes through, and then harmlessly reforms around it."

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) SUSAN(0)

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "I just realized that we are shooting ants, and it is effing hilarious."

[Crows-Nest] GM exclaims, "Yay!"

Susan punches the phANTom!

Susan rolls Good (3) + 4dF: 0 0 -1 0 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 +1 0 -1 | Fair (2)

[Crows-Nest] Susan exclaims, "I use my boost!"

[Crows-Nest] GM exclaims, "Then you do two physical stress! To a ghost! Of ants!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "hahaha"

GM exclaims, "Susan swings her fist at... nothing! And you hear it CRUNCH!"

GM advances the initiative: END OF ROUND

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "This is why I belong in the Department."

GM says, "The phANTom attacks Susan with its... well, with its ants, really."

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: 0 +1 +1 +1 | Fantastic (6)

Susan rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 -1 0 0 | Average (1)

[Department] GM exclaims, "Oh no!"

[Department] GM asks, "Will you invoke anything, or absorb five stress?"

[Department] Susan says, "I spend a fate point, because I'm the effing incarnation of Death."

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

[Department] GM asks, "And then you absorb three stress?"

[Department] Susan says, "Then I'll tick a 3 stress box."

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Oops, looks like Susan is suddenly very ... antsy"

Susan exclaims, "Ugh! Ants!"

GM says, "Susan has ants on her face, biting her nose and her cheek and her eyebrows."

[Department] Maria asks, "Ghost ants?"

GM says, "And then the ants on the floor swarm up around Penny."

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Not my kind of beauty regiment, but whatever does it for her"

GM rolls Superb (5) + 4dF: +1 -1 +1 0 | Fantastic (6)

[Department] GM says, "That is a Create Advantage."

[Department] GM asks, "Penny, would you like to defend with Athletics?"

[Department] Penny says, "Kinda"

[Department] GM asks, "Against the ants climbing up your legs right now?"

Penny rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: -1 +1 +1 -1 | Mediocre (0)

[Department] GM asks, "Will you be invoking anything?"

Susan spends a fate point, leaving them with 2.

[Department] Penny says, "Nope"

GM says, "In an echo of what happened earlier, the ants climb up Penny's legs..."

[Department] Penny asks, "I guess we don't have any free invokes left?"

[Department] Maria asks, "Scared antless?"

[Department] Susan asks, "Who used Scared Antless?"

[Department] GM says, "There is 'Scared Antless'."

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Aha!"

[Department] GM says, "Although that will bring it from 6 vs. 0 ro 6 vs. 4, which is still a success with style."

[Department] Susan says, "Yeah, keep that fate point, Penny"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Ok!"

[Department] Susan says, "You'll need it. MUAHAHAHA."

[Department] Penny asks, "What's the advantage created?"

GM says, "...but this time, they keep going, past her waist, up to her arms, and every part of her, even her face. She's like a writhing, Penny-shaped mass of insects. Penny is now COVERED IN ANTS."

Maria says, "Oh shit."

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) MARIA(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

Maria suddenly wishes she smoked. Set it all on FIRE.

Penny says, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Penny says, "THIS IS RATHER UNPLEASENT"

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "Yup, great idea Penny. Open your mouth."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says (to Maria), "Well, I know a girl in Crownsford who might help you."

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "ha ha"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "UnpleasANT, get it"

[Department] Maria asks, "If I whack at the ants on Penny, am I going to end up hurting her, too?"

[Crows-Nest] Susan has a flashback to Vraklul knocking spiders off Shaborys.

[Department] GM asks, "That's an interesting question. You're thinking of just smacking her with the shovel?"

[Department] GM says, "I think that if you rolled to knock off the ants, then Penny could also roll to avoid damage."

[Department] Maria says, "I was going to whack with my hands, I guess. Slap slap slap at the ants."

[Department] Maria says, "But sure."

[Department] Maria asks, "Penny, ok with that? Or how is your athletics?"

[Department] GM says, "Let's say a Fight attack to remove the ants, vs. +3."

[Crows-Nest] Susan asks, "Also, has anyone noticed the way this is going for Penny is eerily appropriate considering Susan's presence?"

[Department] GM says, "And whatever you roll is the attack she has to defend against."

[Department] Maria says, "I think I'll go for the ant-thingy agian instead."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says (to Penny), "tip: maybe ants dislike icy touches"

[Department] Penny says, "I have no Athletics"

Maria steps in and WHACKS with the shovel. (The ant-thing, not the Penny ants)

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: -1 0 0 -1 | Poor (-1)

[Department] Penny says, "And gah, I have terrible lag for some reason"

[Department] Maria says, "Oh come on."

[Department] Penny says, "Let me restart the mud"

GM rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 0 -1 0 | Average (1)

[Department] GM says, "Aw."

Maria invokes that scared antless to tie.

[Department] Maria asks, "Since she didn't use it earlier, right?"

[Department] Maria asks, "Or did she?"

[Department] GM asks, "Also, I assume this means you've moved into reach again?"

[Department] Maria says, "yes"

[Department] GM says (to Maria), "She did not."

[Department] GM asks (of Maria), "So you're tying to create a boost? Or are you invoking anything more to do damage?"

[Department] Maria says, "boost, I guess. Nothing really makes sense to invoke."

[Department] GM says, "I will accept 'ANTS' as a valid Aspect on the scene if you'd like :)"

[Department] Maria says, "I need a witty name here."

[Department] Maria says, "Haha"

[Department] Maria says, "Sure."

Maria spends a fate point, leaving her with 1.

Maria says, "Ants? I HATE ANTS. *WHACK*"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Then you can take it out!"

[Department] Maria says, "Woo"

[Department] Penny says, "KILL IT"

Maria goes crazy for a moment, and when she's done, there's a pile of smashed ants on the ground.

[Department] GM exclaims, "And the colony is weakened again!"

[Department] GM asks, "What would you call this new aspect?"

[Department] Penny says, "Antsless near Seattle"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) PENNY(1) Susan(0)

[Crows-Nest] Susan says (to Penny), "tip: maybe ants dislike icy touches"

Penny says, "Instead of panicking, I will try to remove the ants slowly and methodically (using Will)"

[Department] GM says, "Excellent."

Penny rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: -1 0 0 +1 | Fair (2)

[Department] GM says, "(Did I give an opposition for ant removal earlier?)"

[Department] GM says, "I think I was going to say it was +3."

[Department] Penny says, "Then I will indeed tag icy touch, because that should slow the ants down"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "ICy Touch! Icy Touch!"

[Department] GM says, "Excellent."

[Department] GM exclaims, "Then you succeed! Narrate!"

[Department] Susan says, "When things gets dICEy, nothing beats the icy touch."

[Department] GM says, "(And don't forget to spend your fate die.)"

[Department] Susan says, "I think Maria forgot to spend the one she used for invoking Ants"

Penny closes her eyes and mouth firmly and slowly, methodically, wipes the ants off her arms, then her legs, stomping all the fall down, finally shaking out her clothes for the last remainders. The ants seem sluggish and slow, which helps a lot.

[Department] Maria says, "Nope."

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) SUSAN(0)

[Department] Susan says, "oh, sorry"

[Department] Maria says, "Right before "Ants, I hate ants"."

[Department] Susan says, "I missed it, my bad"

Penny sets her current fate point total to 2.

Susan figures she might as well banish the phANTom back to the afterlife. With a bullet.

Susan rolls Great (4) + 4dF: 0 -1 +1 +1 | Superb (5)

GM rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: 0 0 0 +1 | Good (3)

[Department] GM exclaims, "That's enough to take it out!"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Yes! I deliver it to the afterlife!"

Maria . o O ( What the hell, Susan? )

Susan's bullet sends the ghost ants flying out of this world and into the next!

GM says, "Susan fires a bullet at nothing! But wherever it lands, you hear a 'chink' noise like glass breaking, and you see fluid begin seeping out of one of the holes in the wall."

Susan says, "Damn. I am *good*."

GM advances the initiative: END OF ROUND

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

GM exclaims, "The ants on the floor again start to come together!"

GM says, "But this time, instead of forming another ANT-THING, they form... straight lines on the floor."

GM says, "Sort of like: | \ |"

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) MARIA(3) Penny(1) Susan(0)

Maria says, "Not today, ants.", and she whacks at one of the lines and then retreats back into the darkness.

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: 0 +1 +1 -1 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Average (1) + 4dF: 0 0 -1 -1 | Poor (-1)

[Department] Penny asks, "Maybe they are trying to tell us something?"

GM says, "And the ants are squished and smacked and crushed under the blade of her shovel."

GM advances the initiative: GM(4) Maria(3) PENNY(1) Susan(0)

[Department] Penny asks, "Can I try and use rapport to try and communicate with the line?"

[Department] GM asks, "Do you know *how* to communicate with ants?"

[Department] GM says, "That seems like a Lore check, and a difficult one."

[Department] Penny says, "I do know "words not meant for tongues""

[Department] GM says, "Perhaps +6 even."

[Department] GM asks (of Penny), "Well that seems perfect, doesn't it?"

[Department] Penny says, "As a lore stunt"

[Department] Penny says, "allrighty"

Penny rolls Superb (5) + 4dF: -1 -1 0 -1 | Fair (2)

[Department] GM exclaims, "Oh no!"

[Department] Susan says, "with two fate points, she just succeeds"

[Department] Susan says, "or maybe a reroll"

[Department] GM asks, "Are you invoking an aspect?"

[Department] Penny says, "Yeah, let's reroll"

Penny spends a fate point, leaving her with 1.

Penny rolls Superb (5) + 4dF: -1 0 -1 +1 | Great (4)

[Department] Penny asks, "Can I still invoke an aspect?"

[Department] GM asks, "A *second* aspect, sure. Which one did you invoke for the reroll?"

[Department] Penny says, "I delved deep into my "Unsettling knowledge""

[Department] GM says, "Excellent. Your secret ant brain."

[Department] GM asks, "And your second aspect?"

[Department] Penny says, "And now the ants think, "That nice lady is really making an effort to talk to us! We should indulge her and her weird accent and syntax"

[Department] Penny says, "(Heart of Gold)"

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK!"

Penny spends a fate point, leaving her with 0.

[Department] GM asks, "Now what are you trying to say?"

Penny exclaims, "ANTS! WE COME IN PEACE!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "With Death and a crazy spade-wielding girl massacring them, it's not all that evident :P"

Penny exclaims, "THIS HAS ALL BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING!"

GM says, "Somehow, Penny modulates her voice, as she says the words, using tones that she believes the ants should understand."

GM says, "And the ants come together again, in the same place where they formed the |\|, and form a circle: ()..."

GM says, "And then follow that with more shapes -- something like a |<, then an |, and a |_ and a |_..."

Penny asks, "Like an arrow?"

[Department] Maria says, "They attacked us first!"

GM says (to Penny), "Like -- kinda like letters..."

[Department] Maria says, "Or well, seemed threatening at us. So I attacked them."

[Department] Susan says, "NO KILL"

[Department] Penny says, "Ah"

Penny exclaims, "Stop killing the ants!"

[Department] GM says, "(And you can end initiative, unless you still want to be in it.)"

Susan says, "Okay, Ice Lady. Chill."

[Department] Penny says, "I say end it"

Susan holsters gun.

Maria drops the spade, probably squashing a few ants.

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "Hee."

Penny says, "What is going on here? Why did you kill that extermina- oh."

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "Ha ha ha."

GM says, "P... O... I... S... O... N..."

GM says, "D... E... F... E... N... D..."

Penny asks, "Where do you come from? Have you always been here?"

Maria just blinks. What the ever loving fuck? Ants can't spell.

[Crows-Nest] Penny says (to maria), "Yeah, that'S bees! HA HA"

GM says, "N... O... R... E... M... E... M... B... E... R..."

GM says, "W... O... K... E... U... P..."

[Department] Penny says, "Somone check out that liquid"

Penny says, "We can work something out, I'm sure. We will stop poisoning you, but you must promise not to kill any more humans."

Susan says, "Well, you know, I'm sure they'd fit right in at the Department."

GM says, "O... N... L... Y... D... E... F... E... N... D..."

GM says, "P... R... O... M... I... S... E..."

[Department] Maria says, "They can run our computers."

Penny exclaims, "We promise!"

Penny asks, "Do you have ... a goal? Do you want to stay here? Expand?"

GM says, "S... U... R... V... I... V... E..."

GM says, "L... E... A... R... N... ?..."

Susan says, "Like everyone else."

GM says, "This is another point where someone who is good at noticing things in the dark might want to Overcome using Notice, vs. +2"

Penny says, "That sounds good. We are from a special department of our govern- er, queen? I guess? We can help you learn. But we must learn to co-exist."

Maria rolls Good (3) + 4dF: -1 0 0 -1 | Average (1)

GM says (to Penny), "T... H... A... N... K... Y... O... U..."

[Department] GM asks (of Maria), "Do you invoke anything?"

[Department] Maria says, "Let's do survivor, not victim, again. Which is why I chose that stunt in the first place."

Maria spends a fate point, leaving her with 0.

[Department] GM says, "Excellent."

GM says (to Maria), "You notice something up above you, something moving by the holes leading to the surface..."

Maria looks up, staring intentely. "Hey, what's that?"

GM says, "...Maria It looks like something coming down through the holes -- like hoses or tubes of some kind."

Maria says, "Oh shit."

Maria says, "Shit shit shit."

Maria says, "We need to stop them! They're going ot kill the ants. And us."

Susan exclaims, "Not on my watch!"

Penny says (to ants), "Okay, deal. But we need to go, now."

Maria says, "is there another way ouT? Ask them!""

GM says, "G... O... O... D... B... Y... E..."

Penny asks (of ants), "Wait, is there another way out? Our size? Near here?"

GM says, "Some of the ants, instead of forming letters, form an arrow."

GM says, "And those ants start marching down one of the side-tunnels that you'd need to crawl to get through."

Penny exclaims, "Follow that arrow! Don't step on it!"

Maria says, "Thants!"

Susan exclaims, "I'll try!"

GM says, "As you crawl through the passageway, you do notice that there are some small nooks to one side or the other with objects tucked away in them."

Penny asks, "What kind of objects?"

GM says, "A left boot in this one, a can of soda in another, a book here, a wristwatch there..."

GM says, "Eventually, the tunnel leads to the surface, not far from the parking lot."

GM says, "Where the police and ambulance are gone, but a second, larger exterminator truck is here, with a big hose running from it into the woods, down the same path you followed."

Susan says, "Time to terminate the exterminators."

GM says, "There are also people milling around, many with luggage, some of them loading things into their cars."

Penny asks, "Anyone know there way around this kind of automobile?"

Penny says, "Maybe we can shut off the pesticide"

GM says, "One of the men in exterminator uniforms is standing by the back of the truck, talking into a walkie talkie."

GM says, "'OK, we're all set at this end. You ready at your end?'"

GM says, "'Roger, we're a go. Let 'er rip.'"

[Department] Susan says, "dammit roger"

GM says, "And he starts to turn the big valve on the side of the truck."

Penny exclaims, "STOOOOP!"

Maria runs at the valve. "NO! STOP!"

GM says, "'Huh? What? Who are you?'"

Susan says, "Non of your business."

Penny says, "We are from the Bureau of Park Ranger...ness."

GM says, "'Yeah, right, and I'm Mickey Mouse. You got any ID?'"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "I want to use Provoke!"

[Department] Susan says, "To intimidate these people."

[Department] GM asks, "OK -- but first, I think Penny is trying to Deceive?"

[Department] GM asks, "Or are you letting Susan go ahead of you?"

[Department] Susan says, "hm. if I go first, it'll be hard to Deceive them after"

[Department] Penny says, "Well, since she already started a different story, I'll let her go first"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "thanks!"

Susan rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: 0 +1 -1 -1 | Average (1)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 0 +1 0 | Average (1)

[Department] GM says, "For a tie on Create Advantage, you get a boost instead."

[Department] Susan asks, "I'll spend a fate point, invoking the fact that I'm an infamous ex-hitwoman and thus I can scare him with that?"

[Department] Susan asks, "That would create the advantage?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "That will let you bring it to a full Aspect with a free invoke!"

[Department] Susan says, "Yay. I'll do it. (And RP it too)"

Susan spends a fate point, leaving them with 1.

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK!"

Susan grabs the guy by the scruff of his clothes, lifting him gently off the ground. 'Take a good long look at my face, ratface. I think I recognize you, you used to work for that thug Scarafelli. Remember how they found his body, huh? Sullivan's the name. Sharshooter Sullivan, and I'll let you guess how much better I've gotten at shooting since then. So if you know what's good for you, better listen to these friends of mine.'

Susan says, "(sharpshooter)"

GM says, "He puts his hands up. 'Whoa! I'm not lookin' for trouble! I'm just tryin' to do my job, here!'"

Susan says, "That's why you're not dead. Yet."

Susan says, "Fortunately, I'm in a good mood today. So if you play your cards right, all should be fine."

[Department] Susan says, "Aspect: Spooked"

GM says, "'OK, OK, I'll do whatever you say, ma'am. But I mean, I'm only one guy, you know? We got orders, from the cops and from the owners, to take care of the ants...'"

Penny says (to goon), "Just shut off the pesticide for now, honky."

GM says, "He quickly does so."

Susan says, "Excellent."

Susan says (to Penny), "I think we may need to consider relocating our newfound friends."

Maria asks, "To *where*?"

Penny says (to susan), "Hm, yeah, and we need to make sure the owner and cops don't do anything rash."

Susan says, "They're more likely to develop a rash, hohoho."

Penny asks (of goon), "Are you the only one here, or are there people from the company in the woods?"

[Crows-Nest] Susan asks, "Have we reach critical pun mass?"

GM says, "You hear a voice over the spooked guy's walkie talkie. 'Hey, Frank, is there a problem with the line? We're not getting much gas down here.'"

GM says, "Frank looks helplessly from the walkie talkie to Susan, uncertain what to do."

GM says (to Susan), "Uh... there's a whole team out there..."

GM says, "Mike and Bill and Petey."

Penny asks, "Who's in charge?"

GM says, "'Mike.' He points to the walkie talkie. 'That's him.'"

[Department] GM says, "(Whoops, I missed that Penny asked the question earlier, sorry.)"

[Department] Susan says, "heh."

[Department] Susan says, "I imagine my stare is magnetic."

GM says, "'Frank? Frank? You there?'"

[Department] Susan says, "Also, we need a way to trick these guys somehow."

[Department] Susan asks, "Maybe 'kid fell in the anthole'?"

[Department] Penny says, "We could feign a technical problem with the van for now"

[Department] Penny says (to Susan), "I like that, too"

[Department] Susan exclaims (at Penny), "You can be the distraught mom!"

[Department] Susan says, "Deceive, and if needed you use the free invoke on the aspect which made Frank cooperative"

[Department] Susan says, "or however you want to play it"

GM says, "And you see another dude coming out of the woods, maybe 19 years old. 'Hey, Frank? Mike sent me to find out what's wrong. Is your walkie-talkie broken or something?'"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Sure!"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Think fast!"

Penny exclaims, "My son! He fell into one of these holes! My poor Albert!"

GM says, "'Oh, gosh!'"

[Department] GM exclaims, "And roll to Deceive!"

Penny rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: 0 +1 0 -1 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 0 +1 0 | Average (1)

[Department] Susan says, "Probably use the free invoke on 'Spooked'? Frank isn't going to contradict her, not with Susan around."

GM says, "'Oh, no, that's awful! Didn't you hear? Those ants are ma--' and he quickly catches himself before saying something that would probably be inappropriate."

[Department] Susan says, "ah, it succeeded"

[Department] Susan says, "yay, we have a free invoke for later"

[Department] GM says, "Yeah, that's a success."

GM says, "He grabs his walkie talkie. 'Hey, Mike! We got a problem! There's a kid down one of those holes!'"

Penny says, "Please, we have to look for him"

[Department] Penny asks, "Are there ants around us?"

GM exclaims, "'Yes, ma'am! Come and show me which one he went down!"

[Department] GM says, "Let's say a relatively normal number, but yeah."

[Department] Maria asks, "Do all the workers go, or does Frank stay with the truck?"

Penny says (to maria), "Can't you show them? I'm feeling faint, I better sit down here."

[Department] GM says, "I think that depends on what Susan does."

[Department] Susan says, "Hm."

Maria says, "Oh, sure. You try to calm down."

[Department] Susan says, "Am I evil enough to feed everyone to the ants? Nah."

Maria leads the workers on the longest possible route to the clearing, trying to buy some time.

Maria gets lost a few times, deliberately.

[Department] Susan says, "Hm. What to do with this time."

[Department] Susan says, "What to do..."

GM says (to Maria), "That seems like it might call for a Create Advantage check. Perhaps involving Rapport."

Maria rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 -1 +1 0 | Mediocre (0)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: +1 +1 -1 0 | Average (1)

[Department] Susan says, "I am the only one who has any fate points left."

[Department] Maria says, "Yeah"

[Department] GM says, "Uh oh -- the usual consequence for failing at Create Advantage is that you get an Aspect, but it's one that helps the opposition."

[Department] Maria says, "Also I'd have nothing useful to tag, even so."

[Department] GM says, "So if you don't invoke anything, I am going to propose that Maria and Petey and Frank are now all Lost in the Woods."

[Department] Susan says, "hahaha"

[Department] GM says, "With a free invoke for me."

[Department] Susan says, "well, at least they're nowhere near the ants"

[Department] GM exclaims, "True!"

[Department] Penny says, "Yay"

[Department] Maria says, "Or the truck."

[Department] Susan says, "That also."

[Department] Penny says, "I think the unconventinal in the Department name mostly refers to who we "solve" cases, not so much the cases themselves."

[Department] GM says, "Ha ha."

[Department] Susan asks, "Wait. Frank is with them in the woods? Then Maria could have used my free invoke...?"

[Department] GM asks (of Susan), "Unless you don't want him there?"

[Department] Maria says, "I mean, is there any benefit to not being lost? I was'nt sure what to do with them except take them eventually to the ants and make them search and search and serach for the child."

[Department] Maria says, "I was hpoing someone would sabotage the truck in the meantime."

[Department] Susan says (to GM), "I don't really want him there, no. He might regain courage."

[Department] * GM has changed the topic to: Maria says, "I mean, is there any benefit to not being lost?"

[Department] Susan says, "hee"

[Department] Maria says, "Haha"

[Department] GM says (to Susan), "OK, so if you hang onto Frank, then Maria is now lost in the woods with Petey..."

[Department] GM says, "(How romantic!)"

[Department] GM says, "And Penny and Susan and Frank are at the truck."

[Department] Maria says, "I have a gun. Petey had better not get any ideas."

[Department] GM says, "And, presumably, Mike and Bill are somewhere near the clearing."

[Department] Penny says, "Yeah, we need a plan here"

[Department] Susan says, "Okay, so our goal is to permanently shut down the truck, and locate Mike + Bill"

[Department] Susan asks, "Also, call the Department?"

[Department] Penny says, "I think the best course of action is to get the owner to call the exterminator off somehow"

[Department] Susan asks, "But *who* is he?"

[Department] Penny asks (of susan), "Hm?"

Susan says (to Frank), "Who's the owner? May we have a word with him over the phone? Polite words, not the other kind."

GM says, "'Uh? Piney Grove Campground, I guess?'"

[Department] Susan asks, "Okay. Do we have the number?"

[Department] Susan asks, "Or is it all secrecy and lies?"

GM says, "'Do you want me to ask Mike what their number is?' Frank looks over at the campground's front office. 'Or maybe they're in there?'"

Penny says, "Let's go to the office"

[Department] GM says, "(You could certainly Google them or look them up on yelp.)"

[Department] GM says, "(If you're not Penny.)"

[Department] Susan says, "heheh"

[Department] GM says, "(But Frank, man. He's just this poor guy stuck in the middle, y'know?)"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "SIRI, LOOK UP PINE GROVES"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Penny, you're talking into your iPod again"

[Crows-Nest] GM says, "OK, sending to MY NOSE."

GM says, "'Or maybe there's paperwork in the truck?'"

[Department] GM asks, "Are you going to the office?"

[Department] Susan asks, "Why, is it littered with goons?"

[Department] GM says, "(I am unsure when a PC says something out loud of you are actually doing it or just discussing it.)"

[Department] GM says (to Susan), "Nope! Just looks like a small building with a cheery 'Piney Groves Campground!' sign out front."

[Department] GM says, "Also, a sign listing the nightly rates for renting a cabin or hooking up an RV."

[Department] GM says, "And a trash can! And an ash trash! And, uh, maybe a wooden raccoon carved out of an old log."

[Department] GM says, "(Ash trash? Ash tray.)"

[Crows-Nest] Penny exclaims (at susan), "Before we go in, we need a plan!"

[Department] Susan says, "Ok! I'd like to have another vision: will someone tamper with the van while we're investigating the office? (Assuming that this will be useful: if not, I'll save my last fate point for something else)"

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "I think that's highly unlikely"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Fair enough."

[Department] GM says, "I agree that it's pretty unlikely."

[Department] GM says, "And recommend saving the fate point."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "So, our plan: go in, sweet-talk the owners into letting us take care of the ants 'humanely', and then bingo, we call the Department."

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "Also, we'll need to rescue Maria at some point."

[Department] GM says, "(Poor Maria.)"

[Department] Penny says, "I was thinking that we discovered a rare kind of animal down there, and surely they don't want trouble with the parsk department or the publicity"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Poor Petey!"

[Department] Susan says, "Excellent idea, Penelope."

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Let's do it!"

GM asks, "And what are you doing with Frank?"

Susan says, "He comes with us."

Susan says, "I mean, come on, he could get eaten by ants if we weren't there to watch over him."

GM says, "So the three of you go tromping into the small building..."

GM says, "There's a counter, a bit like at a hotel or motel, with a board on the wall with a bunch of keys hanging from it, and a big book for guests to sign into."

Penny asks, "Hello?"

GM says, "Behind the counter sits a small woman, not much more than five feet tall. She looks at least seventy, but tough, with kinda leathery skin. SHe's smoking a cigarette."

GM says, "'Welcome to Piney Groves', she says in a friendly tone. 'But I can't give you a cabin for tonight, sorry.'"

Susan says, "We won't be needing one."

[Crows-Nest] Susan exclaims, "You, however, will be needing a COFFIN!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan is kidding.

[Crows-Nest] Maria asks, "A cough-in? because she's smokes?"

GM says, "'Oh?' she asks. Then she notices Frank standing there looking extremely nervous. 'Is there a problem with the ants?'"

Penny says, "Hello, we are from the Parks Department. I'm afraid we have a big problem regarding the ants."

GM says, "'What is it?'"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says (to Maria), "you are better at pun than me :P"

Penny says, "We investigated the ant holes, and found, to our horror, that the rare van Diemen mole lives there"

GM says, "'Does the insecticide work on moles, too?'"

Penny says, "Luckily, we could stop fumigation in time"

GM says, "'I know this scam. I'm not paying extra for a mole extermination.'"

Penny says, "Well, all extermination has to be stopped until the moles can be relocated. I'm sorry."

GM says, "'What? What is this? A joke?'"

GM says, "She looks from you to Frank to Susan."

[Department] Penny asks, "Does the department do large-scale cover-ups a la Men in Black?"

Penny says, "We never joke about our work."

[Department] GM says, "Potentially! If you have the expense budget for it."

Susan resists the temptation to make a pun.

[Department] GM says, "Also, this seems like a good time for a Deceive Overcome."

Penny rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: +1 +1 0 0 | Great (4)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 -1 -1 +1 | Poor (-1)

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Woo!"

[Crows-Nest] Susan slow claps.

[Department] GM says, "This is *also* a good time to start spending some fate points myself..."

[Department] GM says, "I am going to spend one to invoke 'Doesn't Want to Go Bankrupt'."

GM spends a fate point, leaving him with 2.

[Department] GM says, "I'm going to spend one to invoke *Frank's* aspect of 'Spooked'. Because, seriously, this guy standing there about to wet his pants is *not* making you look more credible."

GM spends a fate point, leaving him with 1.

[Department] GM exclaims, "And of *course* I'm going to spend one to invoke ANTS!"

GM spends a fate point, leaving him with 0.

[Department] GM asks, "Bringing her roll up to 5! What will you do about *that*?"

[Department] Penny asks, "I'M out of Fate Points, so ... nothing. Susam?"

[Department] Susan says, "I have *one* fate point."

[Department] GM asks, "Do you want time to think about it?"

[Department] Susan says, "Yeah. It's a tough one."

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK!"

[Department] Penny asks, "We could still suceed with a major drawback, right?"

GM says (to Maria), "'Uh, ma'am? Ma'am? Are you *sure* this is the right way?'"

Maria says, "Absolutely."

GM says, "'But I don't see any holes, and I don't think we're even close to where the ants are...'"

Maria says, "We, uh, may have made a wrong turn somewhere..."

Maria says, "These woods are very thick."

GM says, "'If Alb-- Alfre-- uh, what was his name? If the kid fell down around here, then I think we're OK to go ahead with the ants!'"

GM says, "'Right?'"

Maria says, "No, no. He fell into a giant hole. Swarming with ants."

Maria says, "I just.. it's this way, I feel it."

GM says, "He takes out his walkie-talkie. 'Uh, Mike? You there?'"

Maria punches him.

[Department] GM exclaims, "Ha!"

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: +1 +1 -1 0 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: -1 -1 -1 -1 | Terrible-2 (-4)

[Department] Maria says, "hahaha"

[Department] Penny says, "ha ha"

GM says, "OUT COLD."

[Department] Susan says, "I like this Maria, she's a great recruit."

Maria takes the walkie talkie and turns it off.

GM says, "'Petey?' says the voice on the other end. 'What's u--' <click>"

[Department] Maria says, "And now I'm lost alone in the woods."

GM exclaims, "And back to the office!"

[Department] (from Maria) Shaborys says, "I loot the body."

[Department] GM says, "Yay"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Don't eat the ants!"

[Department] GM says, "So, the roll currently stands at 4 vs 5."

[Department] Penny asks, "We could still suceed with a major drawback, right?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

[Department] Penny asks, "How about "She agrees, but refuses any further help?"

[Department] GM asks, "What further help were you thinking what was likely to offer you at this point?"

[Department] Penny asks, "More info on the ants?"

[Department] Penny says, "Burt yeah, I see your point"

[Department] Susan says, "That's not a Major Drawback."

[Department] GM says, "How about:"

[Department] Penny asks, "Maybe she agrees, but wants to talk to a supervisor?"

[Department] GM says, "She 'agrees' in order to get you out of the office (and you've bought some time), but as soon as you're out, she calls the cops."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "That works!"

[Department] Susan says, "hehe"

[Department] Susan says, "it's the fuzz! yay, fuzzy"

GM says, "'Right.' She says, as she looks at Frank's fear-stricken face. 'Yes, I understand. Of course. You do what you have to do.'"

Penny says, "Okay, laters, mam. And sorry again."

GM exclaims, "And now the clock is ticking!"

GM says, "And you still have a hostage."

GM says, "And now Mike is suspiciously wondering what happened to Petey, although of course you two don't know this yet."

[Department] Susan says, "We need to find Maria, take out Mike, evacuate the ants, and get the hell out of here. All this without OOC knowledge."

[Department] Penny says, "This is going great"

GM exclaims, "So given all these stakes you've racked up, let's cut to Maria!"

GM asks (of Maria), "So how are things out in the middle of nowhere with an unconscious teenager?"

Maria leaves him there and wanders off on her own. (Can I roll investigation maybe? to find my way back to the truck. I don' twan tto go alone to the clearing.)

[Department] GM asks, "That sounds good -- Overcome +2?"

Maria rolls Fair (2) + 4dF: -1 0 0 0 | Average (1)

[Department] GM asks, "Will you do anything to ensure you succeed?"

[Department] Maria says, "I cannot!"

[Department] Susan says, "waaah no more fate points"

Maria turns on the walkie talkie. "Hey. Your guy tripped over a root and is out cold, and I'm lost."

Maria says, "I mean, we're lost."

GM says, "And so you carefully follow the tracks you can find, trying to remember how you got out here in the first place, and eventually manage to make it to..."

GM exclaims, "The clearing!"

GM says, "'Who is this?' says Mike, in front of you, into his walkie-talkie."

GM says, "'Who is this?' echoes his voice from the walkie-talkie you've stolen from Petey."

[Department] Susan says, "pushhiminpushhimin"

Maria says, "Not lost anymore!"

[Department] Maria asks, "I would. Where is he standing, and where is the other guy?"

[Department] Penny says, "Looks like the exterminators are about to be ... exterminated"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Coincidentally, he's standing right between you and the hole!"

[Department] GM says, "And the other guy is, let's say, at least several yards away."

[Department] Susan says, "How ruthless."

Maria just smiles sweetly, and gives him a shove towards the hole.

Maria rolls Average (1) + 4dF: +1 +1 +1 +1 | Superb (5)

[Department] GM exclaims, "Create Advantage, Physique!"

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: -1 -1 0 -1 | Terrible-1 (-3)

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Amazing!"

[Department] GM says, "Goodness."

[Department] GM says, "You have succeeded with style."

[Department] GM asks, "What would you like to call this aspect with two free invokes?"

[Department] GM says, "(And feel free to narrate anything extra you'd like to go with it.)"

[Department] Susan says (to Maria), "YOU HAVE EARNED DEATH'S BLESSING."

[Department] Maria says, "Hm. I'm thinking something like "Trapped in a hole"? Because he's out of the picture for the moment, and the other guy has to decide who to deal with first. Me, or the man trapped with the killer ants."

[Department] Susan says, "With style, she might as well have ripped out the pipes :D"

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK! He is Trapped in a Hole!"

[Department] GM says, "And if you'd like, I'm good with you using one of your invokes to declare the narrative detail that Bill is busy trying to get him out."

[Department] Maria says, "Ok!"

GM says, "MEANWHILE"

GM says (to Penny, Susan), "So you just heard a brief conversation over Frank's walkie-talkie."

Maria shoves Mike into the hole, where he lands, momentarily startled and unprepared for the fall. Bill looks between Maria and the hole, and then rushes over to the hole, trying to ifnd a way to help.

[Department] GM says, "(Whoops, didn't mean to talk over you!)"

[Department] Maria says, "I'm done :)"

GM says, "A conversation ending with 'Who is this?' 'Not lost anymore!'"

Susan exclaims, "The clearing!"

Penny says, "Let's go find her"

GM says, "And fortunately, when you're actually trying to take the *direct* route, you manage to find it relatively easily."

[Department] Penny asks, "Are there any cars left in the parking lot?"

[Department] GM says, "I'd say it's just the exterminator truck, your car, and one other one."

[Department] GM says, "And the other one has plates that say PNYGRVS."

GM exclaims, "So our party is reconvened!"

[Department] Penny says, "I was thinking we could use transportation to move the ants"

[Department] Maria says, "I bet they could even drive themselves!"

[Department] GM says, "Ha ha."

[Department] Penny says, "Invite them into your truck. That's how you get ants."

[Department] GM says, "It's a lot of ants. It'll probably take more than one vehicle."

[Department] Susan asks, "Exterminator truck + our car?"

Penny asks (of maria&Susan), "I guess it'S time to call the Department? So they'll organize some trucks for us?"

Maria says, "Sounds good."

[Department] GM exclaims (at Susan), "Maybe!"

Maria says, "But we'd better hurry!"

[Department] Maria says, "I like to imagine that Bill is running around the hole with exclamation points over his head."

[Department] GM says, "Ha ha."

Penny says, "Let me call them on my mobile telephone!" *pulls out phone* *pulls out reading glasses* "Unlock device? What does that even mean?""

[Department] GM says, "This is worse than the day he tried to make dinner without learning how to cook or buying a smoke alarm first."

Susan sighs. 'Seriously, why do you even have one of those things...'

[Department] Penny says, "he he"

Penny says, "I know how to use my mobile telephone with internet capabilities. I even have some applications."

Susan says, "I take that back. Now just remember your password before we end up in trouble."

Susan shows Penny what the 'Unlock device' thingy is all about.

GM says, "OK, so *somehow* you manage to get the Department on the line."

Penny says, "This says enter PIN. That'S easy! P-I-N. 2 attempts left?""

Susan says, "Kill me now."

Penny says, "HELLO DEPARTMENT WE ARE IN A FOREST"

GM says, "<several minutes later> 'Alright, it looks like last time you were in a hole.'"

GM says, "'You want me to update your status to "in a forest"?'"

Penny says, "he he"

Susan pulls at her hair in frustration.

Penny asks, "So we're in the hole again now?"

GM says, "'Is there anything else I can do for you?'"

[Department] GM asks, "Are... are you going to ask for a truck? Or is Penny just going to make Susan cry?"

[Department] Penny says, "Assuming I do have the department on the line, I ask them to send a few trucks for us"

Susan says, "Yes! There's an a-hole in an anthole, and some ants need to become emigrANTs, pronto, before things go south."

Susan translates this into normal speech.

[Department] GM says, "OK! This seems like the sort of thing that would depend on your personal authority to requisition supplies and expense accounts and so on."

[Department] GM exclaims, "Which is to say: this is a RESOURCES check!"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Overcome, vs. +2!"

[Department] Penny asks, "Does anyone have Resources and want to take this one?"

[Department] Maria says, "Nope"

[Department] Susan says, "Nope."

[Department] Penny asks (of gm), "Could I use my rapport to get my immediate superior to do this for me?"

[Department] GM asks, "Something like, Create Advantage?"

[Department] Penny asks, "I guess?"

GM says, "'Tranferring, please hold...'"

GM says, "'Witton? How's it going with the newbie? Everything smooth out there today?'"

Penny says, "Uh, of course, sir. We are nearly done. But we need some trucks to evacuate a colony of intelligent ants."

GM says, "'Oh, that's a tricky one. Where are you getting the trucks from?'"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "IntelligANTs"

Penny says, "I was hoping you kind organize that for us."

Penny says, "*could"

[Crows-Nest] Roger says, "well you need to place a big order of cheese for delivery"

GM says, "'Ha. Well, I am pretty busy here, but...'"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Rapport! Vs. +2!"

Penny rolls Great (4) + 4dF: +1 +1 +1 0 | Epic (7)

[Department] GM says, "Well gosh dang. That's a success with style."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Squee!"

[Department] Penny asks, "And now for Resources?"

[Department] Susan asks, "With a roll like that, who needs resources?"

GM says, "'...but after you saved my life last month, with the robot assassin monks? Anything. You can use my expense account. I'll forward it to the transportation department. Let me switch your call over to them.'"

GM says, "'Transportation. What do you need and when do you need it?'"

Penny winks at Maria and Susan. "Still not over the robot monks."

Maria asks, "The what?"

Penny says (to Transportation), "Yey, we need 3 trucks, filled with earth, to carry a colony of intelligent ants."

GM says, "'That's a big ask... let's see if I can-- hmm, what's this number? Oh, is this *your* expense account number?'"

Penny says, "You betcha"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Roll Resources to Overcome +3!"

Penny rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: 0 0 0 +1 | Average (1)

[Department] GM asks, "Oh no, that's not a success! Would you like to invoke anything?"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Free invokes!"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Free invokes!"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Get 'em while they're hot!"

GM says, "'Not a problem! We'll have those right over for you!'"

[Department] Penny says, "I use both free invokes"

GM says, "<FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER>"

[Department] Penny says, "I have talked to the ants in the meantime, I assume="

GM says, "Four vehicles pull into the parking lot of the Piney Groves Campground:"

[Department] GM exclaims, "That makes perfect sense!"

GM says, "Three large trucks filled with dirt..."

GM says, "...and a police cruiser."

[Crows-Nest] Roger says, "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Deliveries Inc"

[Department] Maria asks, "Pfft. Just one?"

[Crows-Nest] Susan says, "hehehe"

GM says, "As the cop gets out, Frank runs up to him. 'Help! They threatened to kill me!'"

GM asks, "What do you do?"

Penny exclaims (at susan), "That's your mess!"

Susan says (to Penny), "Well, I am what I am."

[Department] Susan says, "Thinking..."

GM says, "A second officer gets out of the passenger side. He has his hand on his gun."

GM says, "'Put your hands where I can see them.'"

[Department] Susan says, "Dammit."

[Department] Susan says, "I don't see many options."

[Department] Roger says, "Your new ant friends will help]"

Maria raises her hands, "Officers! This is all a misunderstanding. I mean, look at us. And look at *him*."

GM says, "'She's a killer!' says Frank. 'She told me so!'"

[Crows-Nest] Roger says, "I meant my gams"

[Department] Susan says, "Yeah, and Frank also worked for the Scarafelli gang, so..."

[Department] Susan says, "But yikes. The stakes."

[Department] GM says, "(Are Susan and/or Penny raising their hands?)"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Yes!"

[Department] Penny says, "Killing Cops is always such paperwork"

Maria asks, "Does she *look* like a killer?"

GM says, "The first cop frisks each of you in turn while the second one keeps an eye on you. They take any weapons they find, including shovels."

[Department] Maria says, "Pretty sure I left the shovel in the hole."

[Department] GM says (to Maria), "'White hair tied in a ponytail, dark eyes, tuxedo, armed to the teeth'."

[Department] Susan says, "heeee"

[Department] GM says, "I mean, yeah, she kinda does."

[Department] Penny says, "Yeah, that's fair"

GM says, "'Alright. Into the back of the car. We can talk about this back at the station.'"

Maria asks, "But what about the ants?!?"

[Department] Susan says, "I could spend my last fate point on invoking one of my Aspects."

GM says, "'The exterminators can finish that later. C'mon.'"

[Department] Susan says, "I'm going to whisper the idea to the GM now, and if he agrees then I'll do it."

Maria says, "No no no no. You can't kill them!"

Penny exclaims (at ants), "(in antish) Get in the trucks!"

GM says, "The cop asks Penny, 'What did you just say?'"

GM says, "(As three lines of ants begin quietly filing into the trucks.)"

Penny says, "That was my native Bulgarian. I always talk bulgarian when I'm nervous. Innocent and nervous, I mean."

GM says, "'Alright. Just get into the car. I'm sure we can find you a lawyer who speaks Bulgarian.'"

[Department] Susan says, "Hm, no gun, no killing."

[Department] Roger says, "Didn't someone get punched out"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Yes!"

[Department] Maria says, "Yeah. He's in the woods somewhere."

[Department] Roger says, "oh bravoooo"

[Department] Maria asks, "And I dunno what's up with the guy in the hole. Was he eating?"

[Department] Penny says, "I just realized that I say that in an Australian accent"

[Department] Maria says, "Eaten"

[Department] Penny says, "No! We have a deal with the ants"

[Department] GM says, "Yeah, the cops are actually pretty sure that all three of you are insane at this point."

[Department] Maria says, "He may have attacked them while he was down there!"

[Department] GM exclaims (at Maria), "Good question! I'm sure he'll manage to get out as soon as it would be appropriate for the plot!"

[Department] GM asks, "So: are you guys getting in the car?"

[Department] Susan says, "I feel like at this point my only valid option is to try and disarm the cops."

Maria looks at the others. She's never been in this situation before, but assumes they have.

[Department] Susan says, "I'll probably end up with a consequence, but that I can live with."

GM says, "The police are looking increasingly uncomfortable. A second and third police car pull into the lot. Ants continue to fill the trucks full of dirt."

[Department] Susan says, "shitshitshit"

[Department] Maria says, "Shit."

[Department] Penny says, "Zounds."

[Department] Susan says, "There has got to be a way."

[Department] Penny asks, "Amybe the Department can bail us out later?"

[Department] Maria says, "And then fire our asses."

GM says, "As more officers get out of their vehicles, the one who was talking says, 'Get these three women into custody. We're bringing them in for questioning, probably arrest. Threat with a deadly weapon. Resisting arrest. We can figure out the rest when we get back to the station.'"

[Department] Penny says, "I have no idea what would convince the police to let someone who is a suspected killer go"

GM says, "And the other officers come around behind you with handcuffs."

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Ants!"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Just unleash the ants!"

Penny says (to officer), "Sir? Sorry, I don't feel so good."

GM says, "As the rest of the ants finally emerge from the woods, en route to the trucks."

GM says (to Penny), "The officer approaching you with handcuffs looks at you suspciously."

Penny says (to cop), "I feel all woozy and cold."

GM says, "He starts to put the cuffs on your wrists, then stops. 'She's not lying, Captain... she's cold as ice!'"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "yes!"

[Department] Susan asks, "Can Penny save the day?"

Penny says, "Please call an ambulane, sir."

[Department] GM asks, "OK, what are you going to do with this opportunity?"

[Department] Penny says, "I can probably get away with having Maria go along as someone who knows what meds I need, and we can make an ambulance escape."

[Department] Penny says, "It's not a particularly good plan, but it's all I can think of."

[Department] Maria says, "Hm."

[Department] GM asks, "How are you going to convince them to call an ambulance rather than driving you to the hospital themselves?"

GM says, "As you're talking, the last of the ants climb up into the trucks. There are no ants on the ground, no ants in the woods."

[Department] Penny says, "Hm, I might try and escape from the hospital once there."

Maria says, "Sir! She's going into shock! We need am ambulance now!"

[Department] Maria asks, "Provoke?"

[Department] Susan asks, "But what about me?"

[Department] Maria says, "There's no guarantee they'll take me, just her."

GM says, "The Captain picks up his radio. 'We have a sick one. We're going to detour to County General. Tell them to be expecting us.'"

[Department] Maria says, "Or we can convince them we need to both be by her side."

[Department] Susan asks (of GM), "Could I make a run for it?"

[Department] GM asks, "Using Penny as a distraction?"

[Department] Susan says, "Yeah."

[Department] GM says, "Sure."

[Department] Maria says, "I thought about running for it before the extra police showed up."

[Department] GM asks (of Maria), "What are you doing?"

[Department] Susan says, "(And then rescue them from the hospital afterwards, using Burglary)"

[Department] Maria says, "I was going to try to provoke them into getting an ambulance instead of driving her, b/c she needs IMMEDIATE care only an EMT can provide, and that I need to go with her, b/c this happens sometimes to her."

[Department] Maria says, "Or else, I also make a break for it, haha."

[Department] Maria says, "If they won't take me."

[Department] GM says (to Maria), "I think that trying to convince them that waiting for an ambulance, rather than turning on the police sirens and rushing her to the hospital themselves, is going to get her more immediate care... would be a difficult sell."

[Department] Maria says, "Yeah, that' sfair."

[Department] Maria says, "Hm."

[Department] GM says, "But I am all for you guys baking a break for it."

[Department] GM says, "Making."

[Department] Susan asks, "So our plan is to run, then rescue Penny afterwards?"

[Department] Maria says, "I guess so."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Sounds like a plan!"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Let's do it!"

[Department] Penny says, "Not a good one! But a plan."

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK! Overcome, Athletics!"

Maria rolls Great (4) + 4dF: +1 -1 -1 0 | Good (3)

Susan rolls Good (3) + 4dF: 0 +1 -1 -1 | Fair (2)

GM rolls Mediocre (0) + 4dF: +1 0 0 +1 | Fair (2)

[Department] Susan asks, "So I succeed, but they get a few shots in my direction?"

Maria takes off towards the woods.

Susan runs! Bullets whizz above her head.

GM says, "Maria and Susan take off into the woods! Several of the police officers take off in pursuit, but they can't keep up! Etc. etc. as Susan described."

Penny exclaims, "No! Alberta and Juliana! Don't leave me again!"

Hunter disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.

GM exclaims, "The others force Penny into the back seat of the car and take off for the hospital at high speed, sirens blaring!"

GM asks, "And what, meanwhile, is happening with the drivers of the trucks full of ants?"

[Department] Susan asks, "Presumably they have their orders?"

[Department] GM exclaims, "OK!"

[Department] Penny says, "I hope so."

[Department] Susan says, "They're Department people. They don't care."

[Department] Susan says, "They'd deliver alien eggs in the middle of an invasion."

[Department] Penny says, "they know agents can take care of themselves. And maybe we can, too."

GM says, "So now that the parking lot is empty of police officers, the three big trucks slowly roll out, back onto the highway, headed for parts unknown. Unknown to anyone outside the Department at least."

Susan stops to take a breath. 'Maria. This is my fault. Sorry.'

GM says, "Angela comes out of the Piney Groves rental office. She watches them leave, shakes her head, then goes back inside."

Maria shakes her head. "What are we going to do about Penny?"

GM says, "Susan and Maria successfully evade capture, although Susan's description *does* end up on the news that night as a wanted assassin."

Susan says, "Well, we know where the nearest hospital is. It won't be the first time I've broken in."

Maria says, "Ok."

[Crows-Nest] Penny says, "Somewhere in Yosemite, a man with a clipboard talks to a grizzly. "Ants, this time, Ben. Ants." The grizzly shrugs. "All kinds are welcome here.""

Susan says (to GM), "Susan is already notorious."

Susan says, "(albeit in different circles, perhaps)"

GM says, "And, at the hospital, Penny is admitted to the emergency room. She's handcuffed to her bed, but she gets rolled from one department to another, getting one test done and then another test, and somehow the police manage to lose track of her exact location..."

GM says, "...and the orderly pushing her gurney out the back door and into an ambulance winks."

GM says, "'*Now* we're even for those monks.'"

[Department] Maria says, "yay"

Penny says, "Thanks, sir."

[Department] Penny says, "All'S well that ends well."

GM says, "<END>"

[Department] Susan says, "yay"

[Department] Maria says, "Thanks, Jota. Thota."

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Susan continues to consolidate her infamous reputation!"

[Department] Penny says, "Given that it was both Maria's and Penny'S first mission, not bad."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "; ..jota Thanks!"

[Department] GM exclaims, "You're welcome! And thanks for playing!"

[Department] Susan says, "I thought both Maria and Penny did awesome jobs"

[Department] Penny asks, "Could we have found out how the ants gainted intelligence?"

[Department] Maria asks, "Could we have wiped them all out intsead?"

[Department] GM says, "You might be able to guess it with a sufficiently good Lore check: it's basically just that the colony became so complex that they eventually 'woke up'."

[Department] GM exclaims (at Maria), "You could have!"

[Department] GM says, "Although it would have made me sad."

[Department] Penny exclaims, "Aha!"

[Department] Susan says, "aw"

[Department] GM says, "(The individual ants weren't intelligent. But the colony as a whole became sapient.)"

[Department] GM says, "Also, I was so sure that you were going to end up with the police officers COVERED IN ANTS."

[Department] Susan says, "I did suggest it, until Penny did the icy touch thing."

[Department] Penny says, "I felt that our job is keeping the unexplained AWAY from cops and such"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "good roleplay!"

[Department] Penny says, "Plus I didn't want any more dead ends. Er, dead ants."

[Department] Susan says, "Aw."

[Department] GM says (to Penny), "True! And I'm sure that will reflect well on you in the Department."

[Department] Susan says, "Honestly, I don't know how I'm still in it, other than that I would probably wreak worser havoc *outside*."

[Department] Penny says, "In every good career like this, you have to go rogue at least *once*"

[Department] GM says, "Also, I really like how quickly you did a 180 from 'KILL ALL THE ANTS' to 'maybe let's murder the innocent exterminators for trying to hurt the ants who already killed one of them earlier'."

[Department] Susan says, "hee"

[Department] Penny exclaims, "I never suggested such a thing!"

[Department] GM says, "That was Susan."

[Department] GM says, "And then Maria went and punched out out and threw another one in a hole."

[Department] Susan says, "Susan is Susan."

[Department] Maria says, "I panicked."

[Department] GM exclaims, "It worked!"

[Department] Penny asks (of gm), "could you see others gm-ing something in this world?"

GM says, "SCENE: The woods. Night time."

GM says, "Petey blinks and slowly sits up."

GM says, "'Hello?'"

GM says, "He reaches for his walkie talkie. It's not there."

GM says, "'H-hello...? Anybody?'"

GM says, "A wolf howls."

GM says, "</SCENE>"

[Department] Susan exclaims, "Peter and the Wolf!"

[Department] GM exclaims (at Penny), "I could!"

[Department] GM says, "Yeah, I have no continuity I'm holding onto for the Department."

[Department] GM says, "So I'd be happy to let someone else have a go at it."

[Department] Susan says, "The only continuity is SUSAN."

[Department] Roger says, "the parts of it I watched looked like fun, so good work"

GM says, "(My one concession I ask: you're not allowed to bring your PC in as a GM PC :) )"

[Department] GM says, "(My one concession I ask: you're not allowed to bring your PC in as a GM PC :) )"

[Department] Penny says (to gm), "I might one day, but that would mean I'd have to get my head around the FATE rules"

[Department] Susan says, "that's reasonable, since I don't plan to GM in this universe"

[Department] Penny says (to gm), "But Penny would be soo cool and knowledgable"

[Department] GM says (to Penny), "Fortunately, they're not as complicated as D&D. And they're more amenable to fudging."

[Department] Penny says, "Also mysterious and tragic"

[Department] Penny says, "Maybe when we need another one-shot"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Anyway, I hope everyone had fun! If anyone has any feedback, suggestions, comments, etc. for me (like, constructive criticism for future GM'ing), please let me know!"

[Department] GM asks, "Looks like there's no game next week, but the week after, on the 27th, we're back to the Attic Of Orphans?"

[Department] Susan says, "I had a lot of fun. Susan is an entertainingly *different* character from those I usually play."

Hunter arrives at home.

[Department] Penny exclaims (at gm), "I think you did a good job of us not failing miserably!"

[Department] Susan says, "yay"

[Department] GM exclaims, "Ha ha I enjoy players not failing miserably!"

[Department] GM says, "Failing *amusingly*, on the other hand, is a whole other matter."

[Department] Penny says, "i might have time next week if someone decides to run something *hint hint*"

[Department] Penny says (to gm), "Yeah, I'm all for that."