XYZZY Responses

Are you ready for this? This is a collection of responses to XYZZY in a multitude of IF games. Although XYZZY is usually just an optional magic word with a silly quip behind it, sometimes it does do something useful... which means there are some spoilers, but for the most part they're fairly minor. Especially since I'm not giving any context, apart from the games' names.

If the spoiler isn't minor, I've put the quote in white-on-white in a box, and the game's name in black-on-black. To reveal one area or both, select the area(s) with your mouse.

August 2009: I'm reworking this page in the hopes that I might be able to structure the list well enough that I might be able to port the list into a database for cute ordering tricks. The first step in this plan is to enclose every entry in its own box, moving the game title to the box's 'status line'. This might improve readability as well. I also want to start sorting the responses into categories, and moving the responses where XYZZY just isn't understood to its own NOTUNDERSTOOD page.

New entries from 2014

New entries from 2012

Assorted responses to XYZZY

Dragon!

Jarb shrieks, apparently to himself, "Fool!"

Jarod's Journey

Jarod stutters out something indiscernible.

In The End

JOIN THE SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO CLICHES

Every year, hundreds if not thousands of good ideas are brought to an early
death by overuse and overexposure. You can help to stop the senseless waste of
space, simply by avoiding the use of clichés. Join the campaign now, and help
these decent and formerly original ideas to live out their last years with
dignity.

For more information about the S.P.C.C., write to:

    ADVENTURER
    RR #29
    Eastlands, Zork 4127
    
or e-mail:

    adventurer@whitehouse.gov

Constraints (from IF Comp 2002)

Laughing suddenly, "Xyzzy!" you announce, proud of having solved the puzzle, fully expecting to be magically transported to solid ground. The wind pulls at your hair.
Nothing happens.
Only one magic is available to you - the magic of free will.

In The End II

Life doesn't work that way. Nyah, nyah, nyah.

Enemies

Magic doesn't work in the real world.

Carma

Magic won't help here – only a very big ink eraser.

Max Blaster and Doris de Lightning Against the Parrot Creatures of Venus

Max Blaster's voice booms out of nowhere. “Hey, Doris, it's time for the special secret message for the Max-and-Doris Patrol Club Members! What's the secret letter for today?”

Doris de Lightning's voice responds, “Ready, Junior Cadets? The secret letter for today is X, as in Xavian — so line up your secret decoder rings with A on the outside and X on the inside, and get ready for the message!”

Ihuulrtik Fxlhbd Zdmy Eueyuh! Qu obfu vbm utcbv lork obdb-kremdxlrbt bn lou nrhkl Exs Ydxkluh xtj Jbhrk ju Drioltrti xjputlmhu. Lou kfuzrxd ybtmk nbh lork puhkrbt bn lou kre rk xpxrdxydu prx “YBTMKREXIU”; rt lou usfxtjuj puhkrbt lb yu huduxkuj dxluh, “YBTMKKZUTU” qrdd xdkb yu xpxrdxydu. Rn, nbh kbeu huxkbt, vbm xhu erkkrti vbmh Fxlhbd Zdmy Eueyuh arl, julxrdk nbh fmhzoxkrti xtblouh zbfv qrdd yu xpxrdxydu kbbt xl ollf://qqq.nuudruk.bhi/ Loxta vbm nbh fdxvrti!

translation below:

Greetings Patrol Club Member! We hope you enjoy this holo-simulation of the first Max Blaster and Doris de Lightning adventure. The special bonus for this version of the sim is available via “BONUSIMAGE”; in the expanded version to be released later, “BONUSSCENE” will also be available. If, for some reason, you are missing your Patrol Club Member kit, details for purchasing another copy will be available soon at http://www.feelies.org/ Thank you for playing!

Aisle

Maybe years ago when things were more about fun and were less real. You've come too far to go back.

Camping!

Michael: NYAH NYAH! :-)
Thanks to Iain, inky and tufty.

Research Dig

Mists pour from the ground below you. They begin to spiral around your legs. In the distance you can make out shadowy figures coming towards you through the mist. You then hear a deep, booming voice say "Oh sorry, wrong game." The mists vanish, and everything is back to normal.

The Duel that Spanned the Ages

More like IDKFA.

>idkfa

*** You have died ***

Calliope

My prime goal in writing Calliope was to get comfortable with the Inform programming language, and I believe I succeeded that much. Originally, I meant to accomplish this merely by painting a (somewhat self-deprecatory) autobiographical portrait of myself hacking confusedly away at a going-nowhere Inform program, making a silly little diorama which, once complete, I might have shown a couple of friends before setting it aside and probably forgetting about it, but enough ideas for expanding this into a dippy little quote-unquote 'interactive' tribute to text adventure programming in general fell into my head to move me to expand this bloated exercise from pastiche to short story. I then submitted the whole mess to the 1999 IF Comp, partly to make good on my never- canceled entrance request from the beginning of this year (When I had a vague idea about a game I wanted to make, which I then let lie fallow for some months, poked at a little, and then abandoned), but mostly for the same reason most people probably have when they enter the Boston Marathon. It's a fun lark!

While I can't expect this little trifle to score very well in the competition, I hope that you get a smile or two from it anyway. I had enough fun writing it, learning as I went, to want to dig immediately into making a 'real' text adventure game, so, as far as I'm concerned, it's a smashing success.

Special thanks to betatesters Leah Bonistalli, Jordan 'Greywolf' Peacock, Jeff Pitrman, and Andy Turner.

You may send comments and criticism to me at [eaddress omitted].

--Jason McIntosh

A Paper Moon

Nice try. If you type that 9999 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 9998 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 9997 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

[...Quite a few xyzzyies later...]

Nice try. If you type that 2 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 1 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 0 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.

>xyzzy
Nope... apparently I was just kidding.

The HeBGB Horror!

No human hand can play the chord progression for CTHULLU ROCKS!

The Suffering Supplicant

NO KANGEROOS COULD KICK THERE ASS
-- Danny "Dman" Hale

The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Too!

No magic can help you now.

Skipping Breakfast

Nope. Doesn't help.

First Wave, Then Jump Up and Down Screaming

Nostradamus appears in a puff of rules. "Yeah. I'm in the game. So there."

Of Forms Unknown

Not here.

Enlightenment

Not surprisingly, nothing happens. You mustn't have visited the right place.

Yon Astounding Castle! of some sort

Nothing happeneth.

A Boy and his Goat; Accuse; Agency; Artifiction; Centipede; Christminster; Colours; First Things First; Journey from an Islet; Shangri La; SpeedIF 11, part six; The Tale of the Kissing Bandit; The Travels of Fitzwilliam Pound; Wormwood Days II: The Aftermath

Nothing happens.

Grayscale; The Erudition Chamber

Nothing Happens.

Snowquest

Nothing happens at all; perhaps you've lost your magic touch.

>xyzzy
Nothing happens again; you evidently haven't regained your magic touch.

>xyzzy
Nothing happens yet again; I'd guess you never had a magic touch.

The Family Legacy

Nothing happens. But you do feel like you have satisfied an irresistible urge.

Nothing happens, but you probably knew that already.

The Chasing

Nothing happens here.

Vacation Gone Awry

Nothing happens. Maybe in another time, another game...

Reality Show

Nothing happens. Must've used the wrong magic word -- although you get a vaguely uncomfortable feeling at having tried to use magic words at all.

>plugh
Nothing happens. Must've used the wrong magic word.

You get a bad, bad feeling about using magic words in this world -- as if they are leading you toward thoughts almost too difficult to complate.

>plover
Your surroundings vanish for a moment. Have the shackles of a constricting consciousness fallen away?

If so, then they have been replaced by a different sort of shackles. You are tied up to a bed, wearing only a leather corset. Standing above you, a similarly-dressed octogenarian woman gazes down upon you with a beatific yet disturbing smile. "Now, my pupil, it's time for us to study the intricacies of the Rudolphus Technique." You struggle to break free ... to break free ... to break free ...

Moments later, you are back in the Gateway. You are left to wonder: Was that real?

At The Bottom Of The Garden

Nothing happens. No witty responses, nothing.

Spy in the Show

Nothing happens. (Stupid enemy parser.)

Shadows On The Mirror

Nothing happens.

Wait...

Yes, there it is.

“Great, Enra. It took you this long to figure out how to hook us in? Come on, let's get out of this game.” Galen disappears with a faint crackle of static.

You look around. “Yeah.”

***Here we come***

Erehwon

Nothing happens. You could always try >PLUGH.

>plugh
Nothing happens. You could always try >ABRACADABRA.

>abracadabra
Nothing happens. You could always try >ZOT.

>zot
Nothing happens. You could always try >WAZZUM.

>wazzum
Nothing happens. You could always try >XYZZY.

Baluthar

Nothing happens. You hear the hollow voice of Baluthar laughing in your head.

Scavenger

Nothing happens.

You weren't really expecting anything, were you? It just doesn't fit in with the genre.

Oh come on, don't tell me you're disappointed. I know, I know, you were expecting some hilarious little blip, or the Spanish Inquisition, or something. Well, no, not the Spanish Inquisition, because no one ever expects them. But I'm sitting here as I write this, watching television and stuffing barbeque potato chips into my mouth, and absolutely nothing humorous is coming to mind. So... hey, maybe next time. Okay?

>xyzzy
Nothing happens... again.

>xyzzy
Again... nothing happens.

>xyzzy
Still nothing happens.

>xyzzy
Stop doing that.

>xyzzy
Please stop doing that.

>xyzzy
Okay, fine. I'm disabling the command now.

>xyzzy
I don't know the word "xyzzy".

>xyzzy
I really don't know the word "xyzzy".

>xyzzy
Well, that didn't work. Look, here's 5 dollars. Just... take it and promise to stop typing that. Nothing is going to happen!
[The game isn't lying about the 5 dollars; check your inventory.]

>xyzzy
Oh, I see. Okay, fine. If that's the way you want to be.... In a total of 10 turns, you have achieved a score of 0 points out of a possible 70, giving you a rank of Hobo.

You may restore a saved game, start over, quit, itemize your points, or undo the current command. Please enter RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT, FULL, or UNDO: >

Private Cyborg

Nothing like knowing how to curse in Bug-speak!

Amusement Park

Nothing obvious happens.

Four In One

Nothing seems to happen.

A Simple Theft

Oh, stop that.

>xyzzy
No, really, stop it.

>xyzzy
That sort of magic hasn't been figured out yet.

>xyzzy
Don't get me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

>xyzzy
OK, perhaps you WILL like me when I'm angry.

>xyzzy
Oh, bother. I haven't been programmed to get angry.

>xyzzy
You're just going to keep trying until I run out of responses, aren't you?

>xyzzy
OK, this is my last response. Ta-ta.

>xyzzy
Really, that was. Honest. No more interesting responses here. Move along, move along.

>xyzzy
Whenever you're ready to get on with the game...

>xyzzy
Sigh.

Four Mile Island

Okay, you asked for it... ? You are in a 3D maze of twisty little passageways, all alike. Exits lead in all directions. ? Just kidding...

Infil-Traitor

Okay, you asked for it... ? You are in a maze of twisty little passageways, all alike. Exits lead in all directions. ? Just kidding...

Chico and I Ran

Once in your life this verb helps
Some word that turns your game around and
Next thing you know you've obtained the egg mcguffin
Wake up and it's still with you
Even though you left it 'way cross town
Wondering to yourself, "Hey, what've I done"

When you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
I know it's crazy, but it's true
If you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
Best that you can do, best that you can do--invisiclues

Arthur he does as he pleases
All of his life he plays text adventures
Deep in his heart, he's just, he's just a boy
Living his life through many undo's
Fooling himself that he didn't just lose
Laughing about the way they want him to play

-- Christopher "Star" Cross

Jeenin Tonn-nx

Oolon Colluphid appears from behind a pillar, waves at you, and vanishes again.

Downtown Tokyo Present Day

Our hero's grasp of the Japanese language is obviously poor!

onion2

Out of nowhere, a huge cloud of orange smoke fills the car. When it clears, you suddenly realize that you're in the shack!

>look
shack
Betcha didn't think i'd have time to implement xyzzy, did you?

>xyzzy
You suddenly feel very disoriented, and the room seems to be spinning all around you. As you gradually regain your balance, you realize that you're now in the car!

Twilight in the Garden of Exile

Pardon?

A Bet's a Bet

*Poof*

An authentic copy of Zork I for the PC magically appears.

>x zork
A classic.

>xyzzy
Nothing else happens.

The Plant

Poof! In a cloud of orange smoke, you're magically transported to...

[your current room description]

(Okay, it wasn't that magical.)

Beta Tester

*POOF* Someone who looks a LOT like Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor, The Great Underground Empire, appears in the room with a silly grin on his face.

Pause.
He extends his arm towards you, taps you on your nose and says "Old School!"

Pause.
*POOF* He's gone.

Pause.
The folks in Legal would again like to re-iterate that the person that appeared and touched you on the nose was NOT Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor.

Pause.
So know now, for a fact, that Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor, has NOT made an appearance in this game.

YAGWAD

Real adventurers do not use such language.

Fate

Real magic requires sacrifice and study.

Risorgimento Represso

Remembering your old days of playing Adventure in the computer lab, you cry out "Xyzzy!" in a loud voice but nothing happens.

[if prof here:] The professor scowls up in your direction. "Please dispense with the historical Crowther and Woods references. Their contributions to Celtic lore will be discussed in a subsequent lecture."
[if Ninny here:] Ninario chuckles and shakes his head. "Xyzzy stopped being effective a very long time ago."
[if Betty here:] "Bless you, luv," says Betty.
[if crone here:] The old crone cackles loudly. "Hah! A student of the elder times! But the power of that time is long exhausted."
[if hermit here:] "We hermeticists never made much use of those words," muses the hermit. "I'm interested to see what they do." He gazes around expectantly for a few moments. "Hmmm," he says eventually. "Just as we always suspected: nothing."
[if Ned* here:] "Good ti nowt, 'at is," says Ned. "'F 'at wrowt, ah'd ev bin an' gan a lang while sen."

* Translation of Ned's Yorkshire, courtesy of the game's author, Michael Coyne: "Good for nothing, that is," says Ned. "If that worked, I'd have been and gone a long while since."

Lost New York

Sadly, recent city budget cuts have led to the elimination of the Department of Magic.

No Room

See, technically you're in a location (Darkness), but your real_location isn't a room. Instead, it's the Inform Library itself, which is the most sense Inform could make of my game. In fact, I didn't create any rooms when I was programming this. (Granted, with Inform it's a bit tricky to say what is a room and what isn't.) It would probably have been simpler to just make a fake room to put the player in, and achieve the same effect, but that's not perverse enough. I felt I had to try to go beyond the familiar one room games, and this is as close to zero rooms as I was able to get.

Katana

Sigh... I know it's convention to have some inane cute response to magic words from classic adventure games, but ya know what? Screw it. It's been done.

Coke Is It!

Six Million a Day.

Triune

.sneppah gnihtoNNothing happens.

Human Resources Stories

So, tell us, how do you work? No, really. If your manager gives you an assignment, how would you do it?

Hmmm... I can see why you are interested in the answer to that question. First of all, this is all conjecture. I mean, I don't know how your managers would behave, so I can only tell you about my experience, not what will happen with this company. Is that alright?

Sure. Do tell us your experience.

Okay, Well, my manager would give me an assignment and ask how long it will take for me to finish the assignment. I'd say that it's impossible to know before hand how long it will take. It'll be finished when it's finished. I mean, unless the work has been done before, it's impossible to predict with any reasonable accuracy when it would be done.

Of course, that kind of answer is unacceptable. My manager would insist that a deadline be given. No problem, I estimate three days for programming, three days for debugging, and three days for testing/optimization. I double the number for incidentals, such as meetings, unforeseen difficulties, and other emergency projects. The number of days is 9*2=18 days. With 5 days a week work schedule, I estimate 3-4 weeks Estimated Time of Completion (ETC). My manager says: Three weeks.

That'll be end of August. Sure. I'll mark my calendar on August the 31st. Three days into the project, my manager comes by and asks me how the project is going. Of course, this is the same question that has been asked and answered at the daily meeting, but since my manager's manager just called personally to check on it, he figures HE would come and personally check the progress. I show him the code and the schedule of things to do. It would be half done. Of course, it is all very rough, complicated, and buggy code, but half the functionalities would be there. At this, he'd walk away.

Later that night, as he drifted to sleep, he'd wonder why I would ask for three weeks (I ESTIMATED 3-4 weeks) for a project when I'm half done in three days time. The next day, he comes in and tells me that the date has been moved forward one week. Don't worry, though. He's sure I'll manage. At this moment, alarm bells start ringing. Not loud enough, though, to make me stand my ground. 2 weeks ETC? Sure.

Before I start debugging the code, I like to clean up the code. You know, simplify it. Make it idiot proof, so maintenance programmers will have an easier time doing their work. Making the code clean and simple has an added benefit of making it easy to debug and expand when necessary. Late Friday afternoon, just before my manager goes on a weekend getaway in Hawaii, he stops by. I show him the cleaned-up code. Big mistake! As he looks over the code, he has no trouble reading it. Well, if he, a manager, can understand the code easily, he's sure that as a programmer, I'll be able to do it in my sleep. Never mind that big pile of messy code sitting in the cubicle's corner. He wants the project to be completed by Monday! Or else.

But, boss, it's Friday! These things take time! My attempts to explain the complexities of the project are futile. It'll be Monday MORNING and that's that. Then he goes off to his vacation in Hawaii. At this moment, the alarm bells are ringing left and right. I'd need at least two days to debug, and two more days for testing. What should I do? What can I do? I decide to just skip the testing, since if the debugging process is successful, there would be no need for testing, right?

Working madly over the weekend hasn't been good. I keep making stupid errors that I wouldn't make had I had a more leisurely schedule to work with. I guess I need more than a couple of hours of sleep at the terminal. Monday morning, I drop off the finished project on the manager's desk. He's late. Doubtless still suffering from brain melt on his vacation. I stagger home to catch up three days worth of sleep, hoping that it'll be alright.

Tuesday, my manager chews me out because I didn't report on Monday, That's AWOL and I'll get a pay cut for it. But!? Boss, I worked the whole weekend. Just ask the janitors! Well, the manager didn't authorize it, so there's no pay, overtime or otherwise. He'll try to get me credited for Monday, but since the paperwork has already been turned in, there's little chance of success (unless he wants to look like a fool, which, of course, he doesn't).

Wednesday, my manager brags to his boss about how clever a manager he is for being able to make an absentee programmer like me to be extremely productive. Specifically, he's able to push me do a three week project in just a little over a week. Think of the money the company is saving! His boss agrees and gives him a bonus. That, and a little mention in the company newsletter about how great a manager my manager is. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to be credited for my overtime pay.

Of course, the untested program is full of bugs. As more and more people use it, the subtle (but nasty) bugs are showing. Segmentation faults and core dumps do not make the users happy, and complain they do! Rude, nasty letters start filling up the Inbox. My manager's manager calls in to ask about the problem. My manager adroits says: "Me? But I'm just a manager. What do _I_ know about programming? It's not _my_ fault that the program is buggy. It's _my programmer's_ fault!"

Of course, I get all the flak. I end up working nights and weekends patching the code for free. I'll be lucky to save my skin after all the troubles _I_ have caused. As I wearily deliver the cleaned, debugged, tested, and optimized code to his desk, my manager tells me that as a leading hi-tech company that we are, we should create this and that program. There's no budget for it, of course, and no overtime pay, either. But there'll be opportunity for recognition if I can pull it off. He then outlines the most ambitious, complicated, and incredibly large system, that, for all practical purposes, is useless AND will annoy anybody who is foolish enough to use it. My manager smiles, "I want you to do this for me. So, how long will it take you to finish this project?"

(Sigh)

The Land of the Cyclops

"Socrates" - Great philosopher who didn't write a line, but allowed hemlock to win fame.

(Angelo Frattini)

Catch That Haggis

Something appears in your inventory in a puff of orange smoke.

>x t-shirt
It's a cheap cotton t-shirt. The slogan reads, "I used the magic word XYZZY and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."

>xyzzy
The t-shirt shimmers in a magical kind of way.

>wear t-shirt
It looks like it was designed for someone with less tentacles. What kind of idiot implemented this easter egg anyway?

>drop t-shirt
The t-shirt bursts into flames and is destroyed.

Blue Head Yurt

Something is happening here ... whoa.

>look
time room
Time! Time! I need more time .... we all need more time .... to quote the band Ivy: 'To know we die / makes love a lie' .... here's hoping the time isn't wasted ....

>xyzzy
Something is happening again ... whoa!

Dinosaur Love

Something is happening here ... whoa. You're in the nullroom, where all the topics hide! Better do xyzzy again soon.

>look
Nullroom
It looks like an ordinary Nullroom to me.

>xyzzy
Something is happening again ... whoa!

The End Means Escape

Somewhere else, "xyzzy" might make sense, but not here, not now.

4 Seconds

Somewhere nearby you hear a metallic scrape accompanied by a faint ringing in your ears.

No Time To Squeal

Sorcery in that manner seems to fail you.

Janitor

Stealing from other games is so gauche.

A New Day

Stop living in the past, man!

Virus

Such an action would undoubtedly compromise your hunting position.

Reality's End

Suddenly, a bright light appears in front of you. It is like space itself is cut open. The light forms a door-shaped rectangle, like a portal into nothingness. Then a silhouette appears. A man steps out of the light.
He says: "Sorry kid, the Hollow Voice is out at the moment. So no funny or insulting remarks this time. Here. Take a flyer."
He hands you a small leaflet.

From within the light, a female voice says:
"Come on, Dutch, we've got more things to do..."

The man briefly looks over his shoulder. Then he turns to you and says:
"Keep up the good work, kid. I'm sure you'll do just fine..."

He steps back into the light, which disappears behind him, closing like a zipper.

>x leaflet

From the same author:

*** DUTCH DAPPER IV: THE FINAL VOYAGE ***

Available in an IF archive near you.

>xyzzy
The bright light appears again, but no-one steps out. You just hear a not so hollow voice say:
"Come on, kid, stop bothering me. I've got more important things to do then play with you."

The bright light disappears, closing like a zipper.

The Curse of Eldor

Suddenly a magical white glove appears floating in the air before you, slaps you several times across the face, then disappears.

The Unholy Grail

Suddenly a magical white glove appears floating in the air before you, slaps you several times across the face, then disappears.

The Tarot Reading

Suddenly a man falls from the air. As he picks himself up you see he is in his early thirties, covered in cat hair and looks as if he works out a fair bit.

"Ah yes," he says, "I remember this. Ahem..." and he begins what seems to be a prepared spiel:

=====================================================================
The Tarot Reading - A piece of IF art by Michael Penman, written for the 2003 IF Art Show (http://members.aol.com/iffyart/)

Of course there's a view that good art shouldn't require explanation. Unfortunately, I doubt this is 'good' art; it's just the best that I can achieve at the moment. That's why I've decided to offer this word of explanation.

In the IF art show the stress is placed on exploring interactivity rather than fiction; the I rather than the F of IF. This got me thinking: where does that interactivity take place, really? Certainly not in the IF environment, which is after all no more than a static construct. So why did I feel so thoroughly transported after playing _All Roads_ for the first time? So moved after completing _LASH_?

My answer is that the IF construct plays us. It alters our mind for a time, sometimes permanently. For me this is true of all fiction. I couldn't think of a better metaphor for this than the use of the tarot archetypes to allow the player to explore their mind.

Some words of thanks, then I'll go. I'm not very good at spelling and even worse at coding. The following beta testers from LiveJournal and code gurus from rec.arts.int-fiction helped me lots, as did my wonderful wife Helen:
Michael J. Roberts, Jay T, Dan Shiovitz, adjectivemarcus

For the character's knowledge of the cards I relied extensively on the _TarotL Tarot History Information Sheet_ by members of the TarotL discussion group (http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/TarotL)
Authors: Mary K. Greer, Tom Tadfor Little, Nina Lee Braden, Linda Dunn, Mark Filipas, Robert V. O'Neill, Christine Payne-Towler, Robert Place, James Revak, and others.
Compiled and edited by Tom Tadfor Little.

For my own knowledge of the cards I like to turn to _The Celtic Tarot_ by Helena Paterson.

All that said, it's been a fun project and I hope you like it.

=====================================================================

The man then gives a cheery wave and vanishes as mysteriously as he appeared.

>xyzzy
Do you think the author wants to be summoned here every five minutes? Don't over use magical verbs, they wear out.

Adventurer's Consumer Guide

Suddenly everything looks as if it is made of butter. Just as suddenly all is back to normal. But you get a strange feeling that somehow, somewhere, something has changed.

Toasterama

Suddenly you are transported out of your house and never have to eat toast again! Yay! Well... not really. Nothing happens. Nice try, though.

Unnkulia X: Escape of the Sacrificed

Suddenly, you find yourself enclosed in a huge cloud of orange smoke. When it clears, you suddenly realize that you're in...

Got ID?

Suddenly you vanish from your current surroundings...

Swirly mist blows round you...

Your feet tingle...

And then...

You reappear in an alternative universe which is, for the purposes of this game, exactly identical to the one you originated in.

Broken Legs

Sure, you might as well do some vocal exercises.

"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" Your tongue feels really limber, but you still suck. Why?

>xyzzy
OK, fine, second time's a charm.

"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" It sounds even worse than the first time. Why?

>xyzzy
Come on, Lottie, it's not like you're going to magically improve.

"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" See? Just as bad as ever. Why?

Note: You can also do vocal exercises via plugh. Doing either xyzzy or plugh increases a shared internal counter to determine which first paragraph to respond with.

The Waterhouse Women

That doesn't seem to have any effect here, unfortunately.

The Tempest

That instruction, that verb, doth elude me.

Flotsam

That is not a command you can use. (Type "HELP" for a list of valid comands.)

Kingdom Without End

That is not a command you can use. (Type "HELP" for a list of valid comands.)

Winter Wonderland

That is not a recognizable verb.

Slouching Towards Bedlam

That is not a recognized verb.

Escape from a Planet Filled with Monkeys!

That is not a valid command. (You can type “HELP” for a list of valid comands.)

Werner's Quest Part 2

That is not possible.

Timetrap

That magic word has no power in this place and time.

The Last Just Cause

That might be foolish, try something else...

The City

That phrase means something to you, though you cannot remember what. Memories may not be opaque, but the density of layers that cover your remembrances obscure any recollection of what this word might mean.

The Queen of Swords

That really has no place here, does it?

Wait until you get home and fire up the computer, THEN you can use magic words.

Alabaster

You whisper an old magic word, pulled from some distant recess of your memory. The syllables are lost in the darkness, muffled by the trees.

Snow White looks at you with an amused expression. Her red lips quirk in the merest hint of a smile. For only a moment -- then she looks serious as before.
That speech act is not implemented. Draft a new one? (Note: if your command was vaguely phrased, as in ASK SNOW WHITE ABOUT WEATHER, you may want to reply NO, then reword the command more specifically as, e.g., ASK SNOW WHITE ABOUT WHETHER THE RAIN WILL STOP. This will produce more sensibly-named quips in the resulting code file.) >

Note: The latter response is probably only available in older versions of the game.

Fort Aegea

That spell doesn't work here.

Muse: An Autumn Romance

That was not a verb I recognised.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

               - Exodus 22:18

Condemned

[That won't work here: this is a modern work of IF.]

The Chicken Under the Window

That word is not near the narrative.

A Stop For the Night

That Word has no power here.

Ad Verbum

That word has worked its magic.

Choose Your Own Romance

That's not a command you can use.

Intro to Jabberwocky

That's not a verb I recognise.

And don't bother trying "plugh".

 
       "It seems very pretty,"

   she said when she had finished it,

  "but it's RATHER hard to understand!"  

  (You see, she didn't like to confess,

   even to herself, that she couldn't

         make it out at all.)

  -- Alice

Photopia

That's not a verb you need to use.

Yay Games

That's what we're here for, yes.

The Atomic Heart

The customer isn't always right; everyone is always wrong.

Fido and The Dead Body

The dead body whispers, "Plugh."

This Is The Toaster

The detective stepped cautiously north into the small closet. Well lit from an unseen source, the closet revealed a few rumply clothes on hangers and a knick-knack or two but nothing remotely relevant to the case. Ed left the way he came, walking north back into the hallway.

He emerged in a dimly lit drawing room that smelled of zinnias and old dust. Bending down, Ed examined a piece of wooden wood. "This could come in handy," the detective mused as he picked it up.

Just then, a celebrity walked into the room from the east! Ed screamed and pulled the trigger on his pistol. Too late ...

Freedom (by Anonymous)

The framastructure buzzes and lights up briefly.

>xyzzy
The framastructure emits a high-pitched squeal and glows purple-and-yellow. You smell coal burning.

>xyzzy
You feel an uniMAGINABLE burst of guilty pleasure. This belongs to the Snugleys! Ooh, ahh ... There's that -- eow! Did it really do THAT, down THERE? Don't let the cat see! URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>xyzzy
BRUGGGGGGGH1!!!!!!111!!!!!11
[and the game ends]

Time Place People Water Way

The ghost of Gordon Way appears and mutters something about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Resonance

The good citizens of Fair City don't appreciate that kind of language.

Dino Hunt

The ground shakes violently, making you drop everything you're carrying. Color, shapes, movement -- before you can figure out what's happening, three full-sized brightly colored dinosaurs surround you. The brontosaurus steps on you, the pterodacyl scratches you, and then the tyrannosaurus rex eats you alive.

Who says magic is dead?

*** You have died ***

Harlequin Girl

The imp-man breaks off his conversation and gives you a dirty look. "Amateur!" he mutters.
The man glances at you. "That's an amateur spell. The only good spells are said in Latin. The best spells are said in Latin backwards."
You mutter the spell, but nothing happen here.

Nevermore

The name of old, lost magic briefly echoes, then is gone.

Wheel

The rings silently spin, and finally come to rest reading:
"The voice speaks hollowly."

Outsided

The room spins wildly, and suddenly you have pinched a loaf in your trousers!

Theatre

The shadows shift subtly. Perhaps it would not be wise to draw attention to yourself by uttering those words.

City of Secrets

The strange word, though meaningless, endows you with a brief flush of confidence and self-assurance.

The Djinni Chronicles

The timeless word temporarily integrated me.

The Fat Lardo And The Rubber Ducky

The wierd word (how, on Earth, could someone come up with something like that? - it's so strange! "XYZZY"... Damn!) transports you to a better place - reality! Lucky you thought of that...
[then the game quits]

Sunset Over Savannah

The word escapes your mouth like a gentle zephyr and swirls in the air around you. You can feel powerful forces gathering, like a static charge before a storm. You glance around in anticipation. A long moment passes, but nothing happens. You begin to fear that something has gone truly awry with the fabric of the universe.
The word escapes your mouth like a gentle zephyr and swirls in the air around you. You can feel powerful forces gathering, like a static charge before a storm. You glance around in anticipation. A long moment passes, but nothing happens. Then, a distant bass rumble begins, somewhere far, far away. You can feel the distant vibrations in the soles of your feet, and the rumbling grows steadily louder and louder until you fear an earthquake must be approaching. The surf becomes violently choppy, throwing up pounding waves that come crashing onto shore. Then, in the eastern distance, an incredible sight. Some... thing, some enormous, unimaginably big thing as big as an island rises from the sea, rivulets of water streaming down its back and sides. Even from here you can see that its rugged, craggy flesh is cut through with channels like ancient ravines, from which sprout entire forests of flora. A mouth wide enough to swallow your entire hotel is lined with jagged, discolored teeth at least as big as you are, and one cold, round eye the size of a wading pool penetrates the distance to stare right at you. You can actually feel the impossible beast considering you, as if judging the worth of your very soul, and you shrivel beneath the intense scrutiny of that piercing eye. The examination seems to drag on forever, until at last, the eye turns away. The incredible mouth slowly draws open in a terrifying grimace that seems to drain half the ocean, and a sound like all the trumpets of heaven proclaiming judgment day thunders across the beach, rattling every stick and bone in its path. The echoes are still reverberating up and down the beach moments later, when the beast heaves its massive, ponderous bulk back beneath the waves. As it disappears once more into the sea, a name from the old testament suddenly pops into your head. Leviathan. And as the crashing surf slowly returns to its once gentle nature, you realize that whatever verdict was decided here today will remain forever hidden from you beneath the implacable depths.

The Newcomer

The word of power resonates strangely, and all color is momentarily bled from your view. The air seems too tangible.

Metamorphoses

There have been other worlds in your experience that a few well-placed words could bend or change. But this place seems not responsive to such control.

Losing Your Grip

There is a puff of smoke. Something lands in your hands.

>i
You have a fool.

>x fool
A tiny doll tricked out in a harlequin's outfit. When you turn it over in your hands, you see that its back is missing, leaving the fool hollow. There is a matching hole where its larynx should be.

Alcohol solves everything

There's a listening sort of silence.

Note: This is also the response for Harrington House and The Story of Mr. P.

Chickens of Distinction

They don't pay you enough for that.

Jack's Adventures

This being Fairyland, every word is a magic word.

The Duel in the Snow

This game doesn't use the Cyrillic alphabet.

A Monkey Stole Your Toast!

This game was written for speedIF ToasterComp II:

You must write a *very* short game -- as short and tiny and meaningless as you want -- involving any, all, or none of the following: toast, toasters, bagels, scones, English muffins, jam, High Tea, or magical glvoes grabbing chocolate candies out of the television set. You have two hours -- bonus points if you get done in one hour.

Reality Railroad

This game was written for speedIF U:

Write a game set (at least in part) in either Asgard, a TV studio, or on or near a railroad. The game should feature Death (the anthropomorphic representation), Radical Al, and/or any member of the Little Rascals. Said person should either have or need socks, a feather boa, a robot, a rutabaga, or an aeroplane. Bonus points for including a rodeo, a Vault, anything ruffled, or any the word "riccochet". You have two hours to finish (for full credit -- up to three hours for partial). Go!

Behold!

This game was written for "SpeedIF Xyzzy". The parameters were as follow:

This year, a very special XYZZY awards ceremony will coincide with the anniversary of the invention of cheese. One of the presenters is scheduled to be either Stephen Bishop or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. But alas, tragedy has struck! This tragedy will somehow involve, or possibly be solved by, a fruit basket filled with mangoes and/or Psmith.

Bonus points will be awarded for mention of the numbers 21351 or 4+3i, giant squids, ramen, cork nuts, or yesterday. Feel free to take liberties, but not without my baby. Ready? Go!

Bad Guys

Though you do command much magical talent, this isn't the way to use it.

Happy Ever After

Though you're not entirely sure why, merely saying that brings a smile to your face.

Custard

Try typing it again.

Note: Custard plays havok with player input if it detects that the user is trying to enter xyzzy.

Tube Trouble

TUBE TROUBLE is a mini-adventure by Richard Tucker, based on a 1988 BBC Micro game by Richard Tucker and Damian Gamble. Gareth Rees made many helpful suggestions. It was created with Inform, Graham Nelson's infocom-format adventure game compiler, and may be copied freely.

As this is a short, silly, unreasonable game, you may be killed without warning.

Please email bugs and comments to [eaddress omitted].

Dead Like Ants

Unbidden, some ancient instinctual meme crawls up from your subconscious. Your lips dance of their own accord. “Xyzzy,” you say.

You begin to twitch and shudder, your tiny brain cartwheeling into an ouroboros of self-referential insanity. “Xyzzy,” you repeat. “Xyzzy.”

You don't even notice as your legs give way and you collapse to the ground. Your senses have closed in, your mind shut down. And all that is left... is xyzzy.

(Your score has just decreased by twenty points.)
(If you’d prefer not to be notified about score changes in the future, type NOTIFY OFF.)

*** GAME OVER ***

In 1 move, you have scored -20 of a possible 6 points. This makes you a xyzzy.

Would you like to RESTORE a saved position, RESTART the story, UNDO the last move, see your FULL SCORE, or QUIT?

>full score
In 1 move, you have scored -20 of a possible 6 points. This makes you a xyzzy. Your score consists of:
-1 points for xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy

Would you like to RESTORE a saved position, RESTART the story, UNDO the last move, see your FULL SCORE, or QUIT?

Guard Duty

Underworld
** Library error 11 (72,0) **

Apparently Ornomir has special magic-word-proof enchantments installed in his lair.

Frobozz Magic Support

Unfortunately, you never quite finished Elementary Enchanting 101, so you have no idea how to cast, or even learn, that spell. If indeed it is a spell.

Insider Information

Unrecognised verb

Inside Woman

Utopia Technologies have crafted a world of science, not magic.

Jewel of Knowledge

Watch your language!

It Could Only Happen To You

Watching it on TV wasn't enough?

On The Farm

Welcome to the xyzzy transport service!

There are no locked door/time sensitive puzzles in this game. So, by using the xyzzy command, you are allowed to jump to any room in the game that you have previously visited. Simply enter the number appearing next to the room you want to travel to at the "XYZZY>" prompt.

[1] Porch

XYZZY>

A Stroll on the Roof

Well, having missed countless speedifs, this is my first entry. Very late. Enjoy...IF YOU DARE.

The parameters? "Your game will be set on one or several floor(s) of a thirty- story building in Manhattan. At the beginning of the game, it's ten in the evening on December 31, 2002. On every floor, the New Year's bash is going on -- the people in their high-rise apartments, the rented out function halls, even the office workers stuck here late. Fireworks are scheduled to begin over the water promptly at midnight. Unfortunately, the building will be taken over by terrorists at eleven-thirty -- they've infiltrated the maintenance staff and have been surreptitiously placing bombs in various locations throughout the building during the past few months, all set to go off at different times later that evening if their demands aren't met."

Why not...visit my website! http://www.track0.f2s.com. No, wait, don't visit it. It sucks.

Chateu Le Mont

What?

Not Much Time

"What?"

Informatory

What do you want to xyzzy?

Werner's Quest Part 3

What kind of talk is that? I'm not Encyclopedia Britannia y'know.

Assignment

What in the world did you expect that to do here? I have to give you credit for trying, and consider yourself one of the l33t for trying it out, even though I don't know enough to actually implement a scoring system.

Werner's Quest Part 4

What on earth do you mean by that?

Constraints (from WalkthruComp)

When you say the word the tik-tok flinches back, but nothing else happens.
You mouth the meaningless word.
You would do well not to say any words of power. Vox Animae needs no further warning of your activities.

Savoir-Faire

When you speak the magic word, you find yourself unexpectedly provided with a new cylinder of shining metal!!

Letters From Home

You wave your hands, but nothing seems to happen.
While attempting the complex hand movements to accompany the spell, you inadvertently drop the letters you were carrying.
This time it works: you pick up the dropped letters.

Note: When xyzzy is successful, the letters are now sorted alphabetically in your inventory.

Dwenodon

Wizards are tolerated in Dwenodon, even revered by some. but here in the Western Lands, and at Stonebrook in particular, they are feared and hated. People who are heard to mutter magic words can often find themselves in serious trouble with the locals.

Ribbons

Would an Australian art thief make his escape postheist?

Cough Cough

Wrong game.

Crystal Ball

'xyzzy'? I don't know that word.

Even Bantams Get The Blues

'xyzzy'? I don't know that word.

Unity

'xyzzy'? I don't know that word.

Hercules First Labor

"xyzzy" is a word I don't know...sorry!

The Beetmonger's Journal

xyzzy muttered an ancient curse under his breath to no avail.

Out of the Study

'xyzzy'? [That word is not recognised.]

Puddles on the Path

'xyzzy'? [That word is not recognised.]

Sardoria

'xyzzy'? [That word isn't recognised.]

Leaves

'xyzzy'? That word is not understood.

The Isolato Incident

'xyzzy'? We're not aware of that word.

Sparrow's Song

Xyzzy. Xyzzy... That seems familiar to you for a moment, but then your mind travels elsewhere.

Thorfinn's Realm

"xyzzy... xyzzy... XYZZY!!", you shout, the power of the word echoing around you. And yet, nothing happens.

On a Horse With No Name

'xyzzy'? You can't remember that word.

Inevitable

"Xyzzy!" you cry, calling on the gods of old... but nothing changes.

Evil Brain Five

“Xyzzy!” you say. A hollow voice says, “Yeah, like that ever works.”

On closer inspection, the voice stems from the fishbowl.

>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. “Is this normal police procedure?” asks the evil brain.

>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. “I'm sure you've solved a lot of cases this way,” blubs the evil brain.

>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. Nothing obvious happens.

Temple of Kaos

“XYZZY” you say to yourself.

The Frenetic Five vs. Mr. Redundancy Man

"Xyzzy!" you shout, but there's no one around to hear.

The Validator says, "I think it's an excellent idea to xyzzy right now!"

The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm und Drang

"Xyzzy!" you shout, rallying your troops to battle. They look at you like you're nuts.

The Frenetic Five vs. The Seven Deadly Dwarves

"Xyzzy!" you shout, rallying your troops to battle. They look at you like you're nuts.

Return to Zork: Another Story

Yeah, I can read it.
Nothing, obviously, happens.

A scurvy gift for Bosn Chuck

Yo ho ho!

Are You A Chef?

You apply a great deal of concentration, and find yourself walking into another place.

Long Hall
This room is brilliantly lit from all directions. In fact, it is unclear where the walls and ceiling end. A doorway leads to the west, and tunnels lead in most other directions, although all but one are boarded up. An archway stands at the south end of the hall.

Visible exits: south (to Dorm A), west (to the Adventurer's Lounge), southwest (to the Big Dig)

You can see a pile of ashes, a note and the Official ifMUD Bulletin Board here.

Death To My Enemies

You apply a great deal of concentration, and find yourself walking into another place.
Long Hall
This room is brilliantly lit from all directions. In fact, it is unclear where the walls and ceiling end. Doorways lead to the east and west, and tunnels open up in most other directions. An archway stands at the south end of the hall.

You can see:
a torch in a wall sconce, Object #1000, sign, Long Hall map, cow orkers, slide, potential action list
Visible Exits:
south, north, west, east, southwest, southeast, northeast, northwest, up

[Wow, you're on the IFmud!!! Whee! For kicks, you walk west...]

Adventurer's Lounge
Candles on the wood-panelled walls create a comfortably dark atmosphere. Hand-drawn maps are taped to nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the trophy case in the corner. Seating is plentiful. A small storage closet is to the north.

You can see:
Blob, wooden wood, keychain, Clive, Fanboy, fairy
Visible Exits:
east, north, west, up
[Hmmmmm... there seems to be a conversation going on!]
Fanboy says, "You see, I've never really understood what was so great about Zork. I hate zork. It has no continuity and makes no sense. However, Deadline, which is essencially puzzleless is near perfect interactive fiction as the name implies."
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Deadline had plenty of puzzles. For instance, the maze in the wine cellar under the house."
Fanboy says, "What maze in the wine cellar under the house/"
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Not to mention the infamous FCD#3"
Fanboy says (to Clive), "I'm confused."
Clive says, "The thing that was annoying about Deadline was all the little colored rods you had to pick up... it was a really transparent way to copy the treasures idea from Zork."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "We are not talking about the same game."
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Sure we are."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "Deadline did not have any colored rods nor a maze in the wine cellar."
Clive says, "I didn't like Witness, because it had all these dumb subplots where you had to follow the various characters around. Find the will, find the secret room, etc."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "Now you are describing Deadline."
Clive exclaims (to Fanboy), "You don't know what you're talkijg about!"
Clive says, "I am an Infocom expert."

[Alright, you feel you've had enough...]
You are back to your normal surroundings now.
No, you don't want to go back to the IFmud again yet. Maybe after you kick Doctor Nova's butt, you can go back there... Next time, though, you'll have to follow the instructions at http://www.ministryofpeace.com/text/ifMUD/faq.html.

English Suburban Garden

You are instantly and seamlessly transported to an alternative universe where all the familiar objects around you have been replaced by sinister copies that look and act exactly like the originals. On the other hand, perhaps nothing happened at all.

The Story of Morris the Chicken Being Helped by a Squirrel

You are instantly transported to your present location.

Cheater

You are magically transported to an astounding cave containing many wonderful treasures. Unfortunately it is very dark there. You eventually fall into a pit.

*** You have died ***

Competition '98

You are magically transported to the only room in this game!

Competition '99

You utter a word of Power, and the room trembles in response! One by one, the games in the room begin to tremble and vibrate, phasing in and out with the room until they disappear completely. Then the 'unsorted' bin begins to rattle, and, as you watch, it fills up with a new batch of games.

Ah. There you go. You seem to be back where you started.
Odd, though. None of these games look even remotely familiar. And there's something strange about the air...
The games all look new but something seems... ancient about them. As if you had gone back in time.

Competition Aught-Zero; Competition Aught-One

Ah. There you go. You seem to be back where you started.
The games all look new but something seems... ancient about them. As if you had gone back in time. The paper on the wall seems to have changed, too.

Competition Aught-Two; Competition Aught-Three

You are magically transported to the only room in this game!
(Results from past years are available in the instructions--type 'info')

Aayela

You are suddenly overcome with nostalgia for the good old days, when adventurers who spoke in two-word sentences and slew dragons with their bare hands...

Return to Silli Productions

You are teleported to the realm of the Dragon Snarclackle.

what do you mean my disterbing my sleep? yells Dragon Snarclackel. I spent I lifetime getting into that sleep, and now it's *gone*. I tell you what. If you can find me 3 Red snakes and the famous stick with the crooked end, and a ball of string, I'll let you go! Nobody escapes the Dragon Snarclackle! You have, er, uh 23, um, hours or else, I'll.......SNOOOOOOOOOOOOORE.....SOUND_OF_SNOOOOOOZING. The Dragon Snarclakel suddenly falls off the cliff and lands on you, and you wake up and you are back at the Building of Silli Productions.

The Carthage Corn Maze

You are transported elsewhere, then back here. Along the way, a TV set breaks, and you munch on tasty celery.

Stargazer: Prologue

You attempt to speak the sacred Word of Power, but find your throat stuck all of a sudden. You cannot say anything!

"Many fools have made the same mistake. Once such fool set off the Exodus which trapped Thran...," booms an unseen voice.

"DO NOT CONTINUE IN YOUR INSOLENCE!," it screams!

Your power of speech returns, and you make a quick vow never to speak that terrible word again.

The Adventures of the President of the United States

You can almost hear the former presidents laughing at you.

Basket of Destiny

You can chant all the magic words you want, but it won't clean your home.

To Otherwhere And Back

You can't do that.

And the Waves Choke the Wind

You can't speak with the gag in your mouth.
You invoke a word of power... [credits omitted]

The Grand Quest

You don't have a licence for that.

The House of the Stalker

You don't have an issue of the magazine handy. Oh, that WAS what you meant, wasn't it?

Invasion of the Angora Fetish Transvestites from the Graveyards of Jupiter

You don't need to use 'xyyzy' as a verb to complete the game.

little girl in the big world

You feel a little dizzy. Suddenly green characters start falling from the ceiling and walls. More and more green rain appears, except for Alice who glows in gold. Maybe you should not have eaten those yellow pills. You blink with your eyes and the green rain is gone. Everything looks like it should. You now know it is only a computer simulation, but somehow it feels strangely reassuring.

Hey, Jingo!

You feel a momentary thrill of excitement, but then it passes.

Augmented Fourth

You feel a tugging sensation at the tips of your toes. Without warning, you suddenly wink out of existence...

Control Room
[1st time]
Red and blue lights flash from long metal panels of all shapes and sizes. As your eyes become accustomed to this distraction, you see hundreds of little gnomelike men rushing in every direction, carrying all manner of objects. One particular gnome
[2nd to 10th]
A gnome

brushes by carrying a package labeled "Papoosen Props: [one of]blue cottage[or]receptacle[or]debris[or]court[or]endtable[or]courtyard wall[or]pillars[or]path[or]rooms[or]brambles[at random]". Next to you, a tall gnome, who looks to be in charge, shouts orders into the organized chaos, occasionally [one of]stopping to make notes in his black binder[or]berating lazy gnomes[or]approving NPCs which are brought before him[or]inspecting packages[or]making sure the props are lifelike[at random].

The head gnome turns impatiently. "D'you put that music in the volcano yet, Larry?" He blinks. "Yer not Larry...Hey! How'd you get here?" Obviously displeased, the head gnome sets his black binder down and frowns. "This here's a restricted area, pal! I don't know how you figgered out the magic word, but you'll hafta get gone!"
"You again??" The head gnome frowns. "Listen here, wise acre, if you don't stop sayin' the magic word I'll get ole' Larry to wrap some o' that prop tape around yer stinkin' mouth! Now get outta here!"
The head gnome looks up at the ceiling and waves his hands futilely before giving you the evil eye. "Look here, buster, you should consider it a privilege to play this game! I got a hundred wanna be 'adventurers' on the waitin' list to get into a game like this, and I can just as easily give you the *** You have died *** banner and pick the next entrant, you hear me? Now stop pokin' yer nose where it don't belong!"
Cued by a slight breeze at your entry, the head gnome looks up from the granite chunk he was inspecting. He sighs and looks up at the ceiling again. "That's right, give poor Lenny the Head Gnome an adventurer with a cantaloupe for a brain. Why couldn't I have gotten a good game like that one at the church where Malcolm's missin'? 'Least that main character behaves herself..." He glares at you. "Scram."
Lenny the Head Gnome speaks over his shoulder as he helps a gnome courier seal up a drum of pit mud. "That better not be who I think it is..." He turns and pokes you in the stomach. "Beat it, buster. You bother me..."
"Lemme guess...it's you again." Lenny spins around to confront you and groans when he sees you for the sixth time. "Look, pal, I got a job to do here. Why do ya keep interfering? What, do ya just like to see me get angry in a new way on each visit? Beat it!" His last words are almost a growl.
"That you, Lionel? Listen, I told you we shoulda made the pit a few screens shorter. No one's gonna believe that someone could survive being dropped down a sixty foot pit, even with mud at the bottom. Now in the waterfall puzzle I think we should..." He trails off as he turns around to see you. "Grrr...get out of here buster! Go home and tell yer mother she wants ye..."
Lenny sighs. "If you keep on sayin' the magic word, I'll make your parser interpret everything as RESTART. You want that to happen? Then GET LOST!!"
Lenny doesn't even bother to turn around anymore. "Stop breaking the mimesis."
Grumbling something about getting 'xyzzy' banned from the parser, Lenny shakes his head in disgust.

He snaps his fingers briskly. A moment of disorientation finds you back where you were before[ and, unfortunately, still falling]. You can't help but wonder if it was all just a dream, brought on by the stress of the week's events...

[11th time]
Nothing happens. But a hollow voice in the back of your mind, which sounds suspiciously like Lenny the Head Gnome mutters, "Heh...fool."

[12th time, etc.]
A hollow voice in the back of your mind mutters, "Heh...fool."

She's Got A Thing For A Spring

You feel an indescribable sense of deja vu, and the world seems to turn inside out.

Darkness
It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing.

>xyzzy
Nothing happens.

>plugh
Fortunately, you studied well in the old days. Once again, you find yourself in the...

Lurk. Unite. Die. Invent. Think. Expire.

You feel like your elsewhere. Looking around you remember that you are.

2604

You game will be set on one or several floor(s) of a thirty-story building in Manhattan. At the beginning of the game, it's ten in the evening on December 31, 2002. On every floor, the New Year's bash is going on -- the people in their high-rise apartments, the rented out function halls, even the office workers stuck here late. Fireworks are scheduled to begin over the water promptly at midnight. Unfortunately, the building will be taken over by terrorists at eleven-thirty -- they've infiltrated the maintenance staff and have been surreptitiously placing bombs in various locations throughout the building during the past few months, all set to go off at different times later that evening if their demands aren't met.
Each author will get one floor in the building as their own. You're free to use unused floors to a degree, but try not to do too much that'd interfere with other people's games.

Domicile

You have a vague feeling of unease after pronouncing that word.

Help! My Vacuum Cleaner Is Broken!

You have decided to take a mail-order course (in vacuum repair, basketweaving, chicken plucking, or monkey butlering) to improve your lot in life. But can you get your homework done and still attend a shooting of the Antiques Roadshow and/or When Bankers Attack, in which you are to be a featured player? Bonus points for including the colors scarlet, rose, paisley, or pastrami. Extra double bonus points for including a cardboard cut-out of Graham Nelson. You have two hours, starting at 9:30 MUDtime. Go!

When Help Collides

You haven't given out that hint in ages.

Beat the Devil

You hear a deep voice out of the air next to your right ear. It says 'Crowther and Woods, please report to the mall office.' You jump.

The Landing

You hear a hollow voice coughing in embarrassment as though it were caught off-guard without a witty response on hand.

A Gummi Bear's Night Out

You hear a hollow voice proclaim “Gummi Bears -- they hibernate in your colon!”

Leatherworld

You hear a hollow voice say 'I Like a Cow.'

Zymurgy

You hear a hollow voice say 'Mmmm... beer.'

The Weird Sister

You hear a hollow voice say 'SpeedIF doth murder sleep.'

The Tenyaka Memorial of Vegreville

You hear a hollow voice say "That's got to be a Ukrainian word."

Pick Up the Ice Cream Truck and Die

You hear a hollow voice saying “I’ll have a cornetto, please.”

Small World

You hear a small voice say, "Hollow, indeed."

The Last Laugh

You here a loud cry, "Dragons, Eeagh!!!"

August

You hold your tongue. Such utterances are still punishable by death. And you don't wish to start hearing voices again.

Unnkulian Unventure II: The Secret of Acme

You invoke an ancient word of power. So ancient, in fact, that it no longer works. Nothing happens.

Pop Music and Chocolate

You lose yourself in a distant fantasy.

You say the keyword. The man jerks like a lightning-struck tree at the sound of your voice, but it is too late.

You snap out of your fantasy and look around, a little twitchier and sweatier.

The Trip

You mumble some random syllables for no apparent reason, and, surprisingly, nothing happens.

Business As Usual

You mumble something that has nothing to do with what you're currently dealing with.

Masquerade

You murmer "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.

The Cove

You murmer "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.

Prized Possession

You murmur "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.

Redemption

You murmur "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.

The Edifice

You mutter a nonsense word, and, surprisingly, the Edifice trembles in response! Everything else goes silent, and for a moment, it sounds as if the Edifice might collapse! Finally, it stills, and the world returns to normal.

You seem to have created a Word of Power.
As you speak the Word again, the Edifice trembles slightly, but nothing further happens.

1893: A World's Fair Mystery

You practice your alphabet again, but stumble at the point where you reach the end and try going backwards.

One Foot Down

You raise your hands upwards, calling on the strength and spirits of your ancestors proclaiming, "XYZZY!"

Of course, nothing happens, but no one noticed you making a fool of yourself.

The Temple

You regret dropping out of Magic 101 at college.

Reverberations

You remember hearing that word from some little grom on the beach last year. You have no idea what it means, but it sounds way cool.

Spelunker's Quest

You say "XYZZY!" aloud. For a moment, it is pitch black. Then, you find that you are in a familiar place.

[You are teleported to Hilltop.]
You say "XYZZY!" aloud, but nothing happens.

Vague

You say "xyzzy" aloud. The word has some meaning but you cannot remember why.

The Recruit

You shout 'XYZZY'.

A moment later you hear Sharon respond. “Hahah, Louie, that only works in text adventures, not in real life!”

Unnkulia Zero

You speak an ancient word of power. A hollow voice says, "No chance, chucko. This is a serious adventure. Shape up and fly right!"

Kissing the Buddha's Feet

You speak the ancient word of power. Then you realize you look absolutely silly doing so.

The One That Got Away

You speak the ancient word of power. When you realize that it does jack diddly, you slap your hand to your forehead and exclaim, "D'OH!"

Escape In The Dark

You speak the word, but nothing happens. How did that adventurer do it? Perhaps you should have talked to him instead of repeatedly stealing his treasure.

The Invisible Argonaut

You stand defiantly, look the king straight in the eye and say, "XYZZY!"

There is a brief pause. Then he punches you in the stomach.

A Moment of Hope

You sure could use some magic right about now.

King Arthur's Night Out

You think you can hear Merlin laughing at you somewhere.

Lost in New York

You think you can hear Merlin laughing at you somewhere.

Across the Stars

You think you hear a fizzle and a pop, but ever since coming back from zero gravity training you've been hearing strange sounds every now and then.

Roots

You try, but you don't know how to pronounce it, so it doesn't work.

Fit For A Queen

You type in a magic word and get a snarky response.

Biscuit

You utter an ancient word of power, but all that happens is that your wife appears, shakes her head at you in disbelief and mutters something about "Dreaming again were we dear?"

Concrete Paradise

You utter the ancient Zulu curse under your breath...

...but nothing happens.

Enlisted

You utter the epic battle cry of the Space Force and you can almost hear a responding YO SPACE FORCE! being shouted from the thousands of pairs of lungs of troopers who have gone before you.

Dr. Dumont's Wild P.A.R.T.I.

You utter the magic words but nothing happens. Yet.

Adoo's Stinky Story

You wait a minute and nothing happens. Guess you'll have to figure this out the old-fashioned way.

The Gostak

You xyzzy deave, unheamily.

Arrival, or Attack of the B-Movie Clichés

You’d think a fancy graphic game like this would show you a pretty picture of some room from Adventure, or at least something flashy for your trouble.

Yeah, well.

Till Death Makes A Monk-Fish Out Of Me

You're a scientist, not an idiot.

Another Earth, Another Sky

You're a superhero, not a magician.

Screen

You're excused.

Lunatix: The Insanity Circle

You're only half right.

>plugh
You're only half right.

>xyzzy plugh
About The Author: Mike Synder is (as of September 1999) a 27-year-old technology coordinator for Accu-Scan (www.accu-scan.com) and the co-owner of Prowler Productions (www.prowler-pro.com). For more information about me, visit my personal page on the web at www.prowler-pro.com/mike.

The House (by Parish)

You're really at your wits' ends' aren't you?

SpeedApocalypse

Your grade school teacher appears and waves an unnaturally long index finger at you. "Now, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT REMEMBERING TO PUT YOUR NAME IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER OF EVERY PAGE .... " Drops of sweat appear on the teacher's bald domed head.

Rough stone steps lead up the dome.

>[any player input]
The teacher disappears!

Vicious Cycles

Your heart stops. You keel over and pass into darkness.

Chicken and Egg

Your interrogator, in a tired--yet hollow--voice, mumbles "Fool."

A Rock and a Hard Place

Your sense of balance seems to shift, but you realize that it is just wishful thinking. Nothing happens. No magic works here.

Your Choice

Your sense of balance seems to shift, but you realize that it is just wishful thinking. Nothing happens. No magic works here.

Phlegm

Your senses are assaulted by a vision...

You are in a misty little haze of massages, all alike.

The vision passes.

Wearing the Claw

Your surroundings have changed! Oh, wait. Scratch that. I must have experienced a momentary hallucination. I guess you'll just have to walk wherever you want to go.

The Canapes of Death

Zeese are ze parameteurs of ze Speed-If Trop Tarde number vingt-et-quelque chose. You will note zey are veary veary zilly.

The player, a telepathic fish in disguise (or possibly a costume), must infiltrate the Franco-Texan Embassy and quash their diabolical plan, involving some of the following:
broken clocks
castor-oil filled pinatas
Kangaroo Sushi Chefs
the recently-back-from-Hell Dr Faustus
hot-air balloons
Extra points for mentioning:
pop-up books
Caribbean-island-shaped hors d'oeuvres
the 51st State
too many words beginning with Z
Disco or break dancing is *strictly* required.

Zis was begun at 11.44am BST on 19/3/3 & finished 17:06.

Spoilery responses to XYZZY

A Walk Through Forever

A voice from the audience calls out, "XYZZY!"
"A hollow voice says, 'FaG0T!!!'"
Shh. I'm watching this.
You have no need to use the ancient power right now
>>FOOM!<<
Inside Your Car

You are sitting in the driver's seat of your car. There are some keys in the ignition, and tasty food and a bottle of water in the glove compartment.

Wasting no time, you start the engine and make your way home.

*** You have won ***

Return to Zork: Another Story

>>Poof<<

In Debris Room
You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from the surface. A low wide passage with cobbles becomes plugged with mud and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west.

A note on the wall says, "Magic word XYZZY."

* You found one of the three hidden bonus points (the hidden location)*

You can see a small black candle (providing light) here.

A bit of dust falls from the cave ceiling.

[Good, your score has just gone up by one point.]

Ad Verbum

A distracted figure with a huge bushy beard blunders in just as you speak the word of ancient magic. The man wears loose clothing, and an expression of intense concentration. He is clutching his frizzy hair with one hand; his other hand grips an intricate grid - the object of his attention.

His eyes brighten the word you've spoken reaches his ears. "Yes! Yes! That's it!" he exclaims as he draws out a pen and fills in a row of squares. "Now my hyperconstrained, double-acrostic, cryptic crossword is complete, and ready to puzzle others. That was all I needed - just a simple five-letter word, composed only of the letters 'X' 'Y' and 'Z,' that would fit here!"

He grips your hand and shakes it fervently. "Thank you! Now that I've finished with that, I can get on to those other things I've been meaning to do, such as monkey-wrenching the demolition and saving recreational linguistics for future generations." He turns away and mutters, just before he departs, "I hope none of that will involve lying in front of a bulldozer..."

[+1.]

The Damp Camp

A hollow voice says
"That really isn't funny anymore."
A hollow voice says
"Well, this adventure is written in tads not fortran, but seeing that you are pretty stuck, you can have your precious xyzzy."

There is a cloud of orange smoke and you realise that you are now in the ..................

The Theta Point

A hollow voice says "Yay, points!"
[For finding the obvious easter egg, your score has just gone up by one point.]

Appallatron

A hollow voice that sounds suspiciously like Significant Other says, "Sorry, nope."
As you speak the word, you feel yourself sucked through fifth dimension, beyond time, space, Punch, and Judy, to be reunited with your Significant Other.

"I have made it! Even killer molluscs couldn't have stopped me!"

"Eh. You took too long. I'm not convinced. Let me set you one more task."

Sigh. "What?"

"See these eleven rings stacked on this pole? I want you to move them onto that other pole over there..."

*** You have won ***

BOFH

Nothing happens. What did you expect? A dwarf or something?
Out of the corner of your eye you notice the appearance of your computer's monitor has completly changed! Studying your screen more closely, you see a selection of pornographic images that would have the Pope reaching for his Kleenex box.
As you mutter the magic word the screen on your boss's laptop suddenly transforms! Where before was a spreadsheet with a few cells, (already pushing the limits of your boss's brain capacity) a collection of the hottest, most erotic pornography ever imagined has appeared!

When your boss notices the interesting change on his laptop his eyes go wide and a small smile crosses his lips. Unfortunately for him, your CEO chooses that exact moment to walk in and speak with the boss about something or other. Your CEO notices the plethora of fascinating sexual images on your boss' laptop and opens and closes his mouth a few times as he tries to speak but is too shocked and pissed off to form words. Finally some words come...

"Is this how you spend valuable company time?! Clean out your fucking desk and hit the street, deadbeat."

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

The Planet of the Infinite Minds

In a sudden moment of inspiration, an unusual word reveals itself to your mind. At first you imagine it to be unpronounceable, but you are in fact wrong. Phonetically, 'zizzie' would do the job fine. Your concentration is diverted for only a few seconds, but when you return to your senses you find that you are somewhere other than where you were...

Adventure a.k.a. Advent a.k.a. Colossal Cave

Inside Building
You are inside a building, a well house for a large spring.
Nothing happens.

Aventure

Dans le bâtiment
Vous êtes dans un bâtiment qui abrite une source abondante.
Rien ne se passe.

Abenteuer

Im Innern des Hauses
Du bist im Innern eines Hauses, ein Brunnenhaus für eine grosse Quelle.
Nichts passiert.

Moist

Suddenly, you are transported to the Dining Room! (Old magic never fails).

Dreams Run Solid

The chariot must be halted before it can travel to another Existence. You wouldn't want it to fracture, would you?
The chariot hears your thoughts, and with a twist, you are under the overcast skies of Xyzzy.
Nothing happens.

Jobs for Antioch!

The word "xyzzy" comes unbidden to your mind. A barbaric word. You ask around, but none of your courtiers seem to know what it means.
"Xyzzy." You speak the word, half expecting it to be the key to a magic spell. But no, it is just a codeword, no more. You feel foolish.
You speak the codeword "Xyzzy" to the PA authority's leader, and she gives you all of the LLL documents, just as Mbogo had promised. In the next few years, your researchers come to perfect the manufacture of this drug, this "Viagra", and a large proportion of the population become employed in its production. Tourism, too, begins to pick up again. Having the real True Cross to show visitors is a big draw, of course, and it helps that the Seljuks are staying quiet. For now, at least.

***You have returned prosperity to Antioch.***

Spacestation

You a hear voice from across a vast distance of time and space, "That's Magic! Not a lot."

[Your score has just gone up by three points.]

Galatea

You feel your mouth form the beginning of the word...

...and there's that funny feeling of disconnect as you break the fourth wall, force information into your avatar that isn't part of the program, that comes from outside. For just a moment the avatar circuits register doubt, confusion, a hint of self-awareness...

And then you're sitting back in the control room, scrubbing at your eyes with the palm of your hand. Someone holds a cup of water under your nose.

"You didn't finish the scenario," says a voice, up and to the left.

A cool reassuring hand on the back of your neck, another voice answering: "Leave her alone for a minute! God!"

You don't answer either of them. Your gaze is fixed on the monitors: in the test room your avatar has fallen slack, no longer receiving your commands. You sip at the water, trying to feel like yourself again.

"I don't know," you say finally. "I don't think it's going to sell. Too cerebral."

*** The End ***

Another Goddamn Escape the Locked Room Game

You gain 200 Strengthliness!
You gain a Muscle point!
You gain 200 Enchantedness!
You gain a Mysticality point!
You gain 200 Chutzpah!
You gain a Moxie point!
You gain a level!

[Your score has just gone up by one point.]
That only works once.

Unnkulian Underworld: The Unknown Unventure

You invoke an ancient word of power. A wrenching sensation wracks your body, and you find yourself...

All Quiet on the Library Front

You invoke an ancient word of power, and a hollow voice whispers in your ear, "Quiet, please. No talking in the library."

[Your score has just gone up by one point.]

AFGNCAAP - IF Agent! Todays Adventure: Holy Goat!

You muble the magic word, but the spell doesn't work! The goat is still there. Hmm, you always worked that spell on yourself. Maybe you have to change it...

>yzzyx
You mumble the magic word backward and the goat is warped away, leaving the distinct smell of defeat. You hope she has fun in ADVENT.

Dragon Resources Stories

You vanish in a puff of smoke. When the smoke clears, your surroundings have changed.

Chamber
You are in a vast underground chamber. Rivulets of ochre ichor line the walls, reflecting light from an unseen source. From afar you can hear a cheerful little bird singing.

Some graffiti scrawled on the wall says: MAGIC WORD XYZZY. But you already knew that.

The Land Beyond the Picket Fence

Your senses reel, you feel a bit dizzy and you are...

You are standing in a small cavern. The sunlight pours in from the clearing to the west. The second exit is a narrow crawl to the northeast.

A barely readable inscription on the southern wall reads 'Magic Word:'. The magic word itself, however, has been washed out by the ravages of time.

The nasty gnome is here. He is obviously bored.

The gnome looks startled. With a stupid expression on his face, he exclaims: "Now what was that?!", obviously astonished.

Default responses to XYZZY

Of the standard IF authoring systems, only ADRIFT has a default response for XYZZY.

ADRIFT GAMES

I'm sorry, but XYZZY doesn't do anything special in this game!

1st Time; 3 Minutes to Live; The ADRIFT Maze; The ADRIFT Project - Classified; ADRIFT-O-RAMA; ADRIFTmas Party; Adventure Strikes When You Least Expect It; Agent 4-F From Mars; The Amazing Uncle Griswold; The Amulet; Amy And The Raging Hormones; The Angel, the Devil and the Human; ARGH's Great Escape; Asteroid Aftermath; Back To Life... Unfortunately; The Hangover; Sophie's Adventure; Unraveling God

Unrecognized responses to XYZZY

The following games don't recognize the verb "XYZZY" at all and give whatever default response is appropriate for a command where the verb is not understood. See the NOTUNDERSTOOD page for the actual responses.

1981; +=3; 30 Minutes; 9:05; 98769765;

A AAAAA AAAAAAAAA; The Abbey; An Abbreviated Night Before Christmas; Acid Whiplash; The Acorn Court; The Act of Misdirection; Adventureland; Aesthetic Deletions; Aftermath; Aggravatron; The Airport; The Algophilists' Penury; Alien Abduction?; All Roads; All Things Devours; Alma Mater; The Amazing Interactive Turing Machine; Amissville (amiss.z5); Amnesia; Anchorhead; And So It Goes; And Then is Heard no More; Andreas Thorwald Cross; The Angel Curse; Annoyed Undead; Another Day, Another Sea Monster; Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer; Antifascista; The Apocalypse Clock; Apocolyptica; Apollo 11; an apple from nowhere; Are you Too Chicken to Make a Deal?; Arid and Pale; Armario de Auga; The Art of Deception; Arthur Yahtzee: The Curse of Hell's Cheesecake; ASCII and the Argonauts: Astral Plane; The Ascot; Asylum (by cpuguy); Attack of the Yeti Robot Zombies; Auden's Eden; Augustine; Authority;

Babel; Back to WakeUp; Balances; Bane of the Builders; Bank of Zork; Barton; Basic Train-ing; Battle of the Planets; Bear Creek; A Beginning; Behavior; Being the Little Guy; The Believable Adventures of an Invisible Man; The Best Man; Beyond the Blue Event Wall; The Bibliophile; The Big Mama; Bio; The Blade Sentinel; The Blair Bee Project; Bliss; The Bloody Mess; Blow Job Drifter; The Blueprint; Bmissfille; The Body; Border Zone; A Brain in the Rain; Break-In; BSE; Bunt; Burnt Toast;

CaffeiNation; Captain Speedo The New Generation Series Premiere: Missed by a hair - but not forgotten!; Carnival; The Case of Samuel Gregor; Cask; Cerulean Stowaway; A Change In The Weather; Cheating Death; Cheer Up; Chicken!; The Chicken's Dilemma; The Circus of Sadness; The Clock; Coffee Quest II; Coffins; Color and Number; Coming Home; Common Ground; The Commute; Congratulations!; Containment; Couch of Doom; The Count of Monte Cristo; Countdown to Doom; The Courier Who Missed Me; Cranial Pounding; The Crescent City at the Edge of Disaster; The Crouton Caper; Curse of Manorland; Cutthroats;

The Damsel and the Dragon; Danger School; A Dark and Stormy Entry; A Day for Fresh Sushi; A Day for Soft Food; Dead Of Winter; Deadline; Death Death Death Death; The Death of Two Great Minds; Death's Scavenger Hunt; December 31, 2002; Deep Brow Lifter; Degeneracy; Descent of Man; Destiny of the Chihuahua; Dig Dug; Digging For Onions; Dinner With Andre; A Dino's Night Out; Dinosaur Dinnertime!; Discord; Dithyrambic Bastards; Donkey Kong; Don't Fire Until You See The Yellows Of Their Niblets; Doom, Death, Destruction and All That; Down; Dragon George and The Man; Drama Queen 7 - Mother knows best; Dual Transform;

Earl Grey; Elephants and the Afterlife;Enter The Ninja; Episode in the Life of an Artist; Eric the Unready; Eric's Gift; Escape From the Arboretum; Escape from the Starship Zenon; Eschew as if you were She; Eterna Corp; Evacuate; The Evil Sorcerer; An Exploration of Colour;

Falling Angel; Fear; Fifteen; Final Assault of the Big Green Cliches; Fine-Tuned; Finding Henry; Fish and Spaceships; Flat; Flexible Pants; Flowers for Algernon; Floyd; For A Change; The Four Symbols; A Freak Accident Leaves Seattle Pantless; Frederik Pohl's Gateway; Fred's Backyard; Friar Bacon's Secret; Friday Afternoon; Frozen; Frustration; Fun and Games; Fusillade; Futz Mutz;

The Game Formerly Known as Hidden Nazi Mode; Garden of the Dragon; Generic Title; Genie; George; Getting to know the General; Gleaming the Verb; Glowgrass; The Golden Fleece; Goofy; Got Toast?; Gourmet; The Grade 3 Parallax; The Granite Book; The Great Ritual; Grounded in Space; Guitar of the Immortal Bard;

Hallowe'en; Hallway; The Hand That Rocks The Pumpkin; Hank Buzzcrack Has A Job To Do, God Damn It; Heist; Here Be Dragons!!!; Heroes; Hey, I'm Supposed to Be Free Range; The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy; Hollywood Hijinx; The Holy Grail; House on Haunted Hill; How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down?; Hunter, in Darkness;

I Didn't Know You Could Yodel; I don't remember why this game is called "Onion"; I Never Promised You a Nose Guard; I Went to the WTO Ministerial Conference...; Identity Thief; An Important Appointment; In the Spotlight; The Inanimator; Infiltration on Io; Inheritance; Insomnia; Inspiration; Internal Documents; Into That Good Night;

Jacks or better to murder, Aces to win; Jane; Jigsaw; Jigsaw2; John's Fire Witch; Jump;

Kaged; Kids, don't eat your Halloween candy...; Kids Shouldn't Have to Save The World; The Knapsack Problem; Koan;

La Lagune de Montaigne; The Lake; Large Machine; LASH: Local Asynchronous Satellite Hookup; Last Days of Doom; Lazy Gods; Leather; Leather Goddesses of Phobos; LegBreaker 3k!; The Legend of Lady Magaidh; The Lesson of the Tortoise; Lethe Flow Phoenix; Life on Beal Street; Lightiania; The Lion in Winter; Lists And Lists; Literacy; Little Blue Men; Living Room; The Lobster; Lomalow; The loneliness of the long distance runner; Losing Your Step; Lost [the TADS one]; Love Song; The Lurking Horror;

Madame L'Estrange and the Troubled Spirit; Madrigals of War and Love; The Magic Toyshop; Manna; Marble Madness; The Masque of the Last Faeries; Masta'mind; The Maintenance Man; The Meteor, the Stone and a Long Glass of Sherbet; 'Mid the Sagebrush and the Cactus; A Mind Forever Voyaging; The Mission; Moon Over Jupiter; Moonbase; Moonmist; Moral Me This; Mr. Remote Mom; The Mulldoon Legacy; The Mulldoon Murders; Music Education; My Angel; My First Stupid Game; Myth; MythTale;

Nalian; Need! More! Toast!; A Night at Milliways; A Night at the Museum Forever; A Night At The XYZZYies; The Nemean Lion; Nine Points; Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It; Nostradamus's Onion Sandwich; Not Made With Hands; Nothing More, Nothing Less; NPC Engine Demo Story;

The Obscene Quest of Dr. Aardvarkbarf; Offensive Probing; The Oily Deeps; The Old Sherwood Cemetary; On The Cross; Once; One Night In The North Atlantic; One Week; The Onion of Destiny; Only After Dark; OnNoEf; Operate!; The Oracle; Orpington; Oth.;

Pantheon, Party On; Pants On The Run; Pantsless in Seattle; A Parallax Dream; The Parallax Moon Bar Conspiracy; Passenger; Passing Familiarity; Perdition's Flames; A Perfect Day for Candiru; Persistence of Memory; Peter Theta Fixes The Holodeck; Photopia; Phred Phontius and the Quest for Pizza; Pick Up the IF-Archive and Pi; Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die; Pick Up the Phone Booth and Dye; The Pickpocket; Piece of Mind; Pintown; Pirate Adventure; Pirates and Ninjas and Aliens, Oh My!; Pirating; Planet Y; Planetfall; Plundered Hearts; The Possibility of Life's Destruction; Potsticker; Practical Astrology; The Profesee; Pryde And The Pink Flamingo; Pumping!; The Pumpkin; The Pumpkin Contest; Punk Points; Purple;

The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 14: Victim of the Vaccum!; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 16: Let them "heat" cake!; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 42: So Long, and Thanks for All the Books; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 112: Alert on Alpha V!; Rent-A-Spy; Return to Doom; Revenge of the Chalupa; Revenger; The Ritual of Purification; Romeo, Juliet and the Dog; Rover's Day Out; Rowr!; Rox; Runes;

Samurai Tea Room; Scary House Amulet!; Scavenger Hunt; Schroedinger's Cat; Screw the Boston Tea Party; Sea Captains; Seastalker; Second Honeymoon; The Second Pit; Secret Agent; Service With a Smile; Shade; Shattered Memory; Sherlock: The Riddle of the Crown Jewels; shrapnel; Silicon Castles; Sinking the Lily Jane; Skyranch; Slacker X; Sludge; Snosae; So Far; The Sofa at the End of the Universe; Sorcerer; Soul-Searching; The Sound of One Hand Clapping; South Beach Rum Runner; The Space Under the Window; Sparky and Boots; Speed IF #2; Speed5; SpeedIF 19; A speedIF O entry; Spellbreaker; Spitting Crumbs; A Spliff In Time; The Spot; The Spy Who Always Wears Gloves Now; Spyder and Jeb; Squeaky On The Moon; Stairs; Star Hunter; Starcross; Stationfall; Statue; The Statuette; Stone Cell; Stranded; Strangers in the Night; Stupid Kittens; stupidgame; Surreal; Suspect; Suspended; Sylenius Mysterium; Symetry;

Tales From The College Presents A Breath Of Fresh Blair; Talisman, Challenging the Sands of Time; Tall Tales in the Big Easy; Tapestry; Taxes; Tears Keep Getting In My Dr. Pepper; Tears May Fall; Terrible Lizards; Temple of the Orc Mage; A Tenuous Hold; TG-TADS: Prototype I; Things; Threading the Labyrinth; Three Steps to the Left; Tightest; Time: All things come to an end; Timeout; Timequest; Titanic: Leo's Revenge; Tommy the Toaster; Tooth Ow Zunden Too; Tooth Ow Zunden Won!; A Top Hat For Eddie; Total Paddling Mania; The Tower of Beef; The Town Dragon; Toxic Sewage (A (Love) Story); Tragedy strikes at the XYZZY awards!; Transfer; Trapped in a One-Room Dilly; Travels in the Land of Erden; Triple Bear Beer; Triumphant Return of the Evil Sea Grape; Trudge; Twilight of the Dogs; Tyler's Great Cube Game;

Ugly Chapter; Uncle Zebulon's Will; Under Cover Of Darkness; Undertow; The Unfortunate Training of Frank Lee, Monkey Butler To Be; Upwards and Onwards;

Vacationing in Scotland; Verb!; Vindaloo; Visitor; Visualizing; Voices; Volcano Isle;

The Weapon; Weaving a Basket (or Something); The Wedding; Werner's Quest Part 1; What Dreams May Come; When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Firetruck; Where Evil Dwells; Will The Real Marjorie Hopkirk Please Stand Up? Why did the Dino cross the Road?; William Tell: The Game!!!!!!!!!!!; Withdraval Symptoms; Witness; Worlds Apart; Wooden Cat vs. Robot Monkey; worm;

Yellow Dog Running; The Yellow Stone; You are a Chef!; You Are Here; You Were Doomed From The Start!; Your mind is gone, it must be brought, you have some rock candy; (You're) Toast!;

Zig-zy; zork, buried chaos; Zork Zero: The Revenge of Megaboz; Zugzwang

Additional Notes

There is no single applicable message for FailSafe. That game returns one of a large variety of 'I don't understand you' type messages, instead. To say more than that is a spoiler.

It's a similar story with Forbidden Castle; its generic responses include:

Why don't you do something constructive?
Try to see this as an exciting adventure.
Very soon, you may be dead.
What now?
A few steps more, you may be dead.
Why don't you do something brilliant?

Rape, Pillage, Galore! almost ignores what the user types and comes up with a randomized message in response to it.

A Man Named Bill won't let you type in "xyzzy" or anything else. Well, you can type stuff, but anything you type is replaced with pre-determined input.

The Esperanto game, La Insulo Texel, tries to be helpful by replacing 'x' with 'sh' and 'y' with 'jh' in the player's input, resulting in this bizarre exchange:
> shjhzzjh
Chu?

And some games like Little Billy or Sweet Dreams don't let you type anything at all. Just point 'n' click. Promoted uses menus for input.

Do you want to see the PLUGH or SING responses pages now? Or Rick Adams's Everything you ever wanted to know about the magic word XYZZY page?